This is a helpful thread, since I've been experiencing some assholish behavior from myself as well and wondering what to do about it. I've been doing it as an alternative to being a chump, so it's not like I can just say, "Metis, don't be an asshole" and expect that to solve anything.
In theory, I'm not Te-anything unless it's a "shadow function," and maybe it's a tertiary-to-inferior Fe thing, that is, assuming that the cognitive functions work that way. In any case. I'd like to learn how to be a better, more effective, and WISER asshole. Some of the most helpful encounters I've had were with people who were being assholes in appropriately well-intended ways. In other words -- not being assholes at all, really, but willing to risk coming across as assholes by not kissing MY ass or trying to cover theirs.
And I didn't necessarily show any appreciation for their taking the trouble.