ISFP 9w8 ESI 963 9w8 6w5 3w4 sp/sx FLEV making sure I've been typed right.

[falseintuitive]

Hello, I am supposedly an ISFP according to other people's opinions of my type. Recently I've been more accommodating to different perspectives and viewpoints, before then when I would mistype as an intuitive I'd just shut everyone's opinion out. I used to mistype a lot as an XNXP enneagram 4. XNFP in particular was my crutch. I'd be hypothesizing 24/7 why I was an XNFP; usually, because this thing went wrong or that thing went wrong, instead of just focusing on the present moment. My only skill, honestly, is just doing what is in front of me and doing it well. I believe in the principles of stoicism, yet get carried away heavily with my own emotions from time to time. I can come across as quite judgemental and narrow-minded sometimes, others I come across as 'deep' but I just feel as though I'm elaborating on someone else's viewpoint. I feel as though when I say things that are 'deep' I'm just reaffirming what I think everyone should know, reiterating common principles of general logic.

I do live in a world of possibilities and I am optimistic just like any XNXP, but I feel optimistic about things that apply to my life. I want to make an impact in the real world and be successful. I don't feel worthy of love the way my life is now and I won't calm down until I've burnt every bridge behind me in this wanderlust that I have. I've made very little progress, very small steps, in the last few years because I struggle with impulsivity. I struggle with getting carried away, chasing my thoughts into dead ends trying to better understand myself and visualize who I want to become. I think of the long-term scenarios, ten or twenty years from now, how I would feel. All of my ambitions and plans are based on dreams of who I would like to become. I would like to become an ENTJ type of figure, I think this is called having Te-aspirational. I have a plan, but I often lack the perspective to just do what is required. I'll do the work in front of me, then find out what that work is connected to. I have my head in the clouds because I live in a dream. But I become frustrated when people try to confine me, and shut those dreams away. I can't function without optimism, I can't function without something to strive for. I change my plans on a whim, but I still feel as though I'm a visionary. I hate being told what to do, I hate being boxed into a category, and I hate having my ideas dismissed. I constantly feel like I have something to prove, I want to prove others wrong and become someone who feels worthy of love.

Cognitive function tests attribute this to high Ni and Ne. Considering other people's perceptions of me, I think this might be an intuitive bias. I can't see how I could simultaneously use both functions. Sure, sociotypes should come into consideration, but IEI-2Ni seems a bit overkill. I think it's over-typed and if the majority of people think I'm an ISFP 369, then they're probably right. I live in such a fantasy land that my perspectives are often blinded by my delusions of how reality works. Reality doesn't work for me, I have to work for reality and the harsh truth of it is the more beliefs that I sacrifice, the more productive I become. I hate having these false beliefs, but they feel so comfortable that I make the same mistakes over and over again despite being aware of them.

My ambition is to remove myself from the cocoon, the web of lies that I've formed, this disgusting network that smells of coffee and rotten fish. I pride myself on achievement and I've been considered to be shallow because of it. I want to find a way, multiple ways, to become successful. I fear being unworthy of other people's admiration and respect. I hate being talked down to and I hate having my achievements belittled. I become angry quite quickly and I usually show my anger in the most explosive way possible. I've broken smartphones, furniture, and other people's faces in the past. Of course, I have! I'm very impulsive, to the point where I could be considered needy. I will assume the worst and then try to insulate myself against that feeling through optimism. I want to schedule a thousand different things to insulate against feeling down but when I look into the mirror; I'm just a vampire. Sometimes I wonder if there's life on the other end of my soul, or if the life between my soul and I is just an illusion. Sometimes I feel so connected to others that I wonder if I'm putting on an act. I keep wondering 'how can I be more authentic' because, without authentic achievement, I'm nothing.

How I was typed:

Katherine Fauver's type test had me down as a 974, the free spirit. However, because I contradicted myself (as I have done several times in this post), I was typed as a 964. I was told that I was either an enneagram 9 or a 6, which could be a 7 for all I know. I noticed the proclivity to agree with most '8' values (honesty, respect, justice, integrity) whilst taking the test. At first, I thought I'd come out as a 468 instead of a 469, the whole test was taken through an ENFP bias, mind you. This was completely overlooked on Personality Café, I just posted a soliloquy like this one and was typed as a 369 because of my political skepticism. 'Well, you can't have Ne because you need something to bounce off of. Um... yeah, I bounce off of my girlfriend AND I bounce off of ideas that apply to my life.
Just kidding, I'm lonely.
That could be Se though, idk.

I still feel like an enneagram 4w3. I feel like a very antisocial 4w3, I withdraw to focus on my own goals and then come to the surface in little bursts of extroversion where I'm usually seen as being random. At the moment I'm studying 3 different courses, working 2 unpaid jobs and I'm going to get into some political activism. I speak to a lot of different people, I just don't realize it most of the time. I've spoken to 50 people in one day before, I just didn't realize it. I only speak to people if they are a part of my master plan, my master plan is to improve, and recently I've been very passionate about just randomly showing gratitude to other human beings. Sometimes I break down crying because I have all these feelings for my family I don't quite understand. I've never had a friend group in my life. My friend group is tentacle hentai.

I was typed as a Ni user because of my poetry and saying that I live in my dream world constantly. My dream world is what I want to see in reality. I was typed as Se due to contradicting myself, then I was typed as an INTJ for being an asshole about it. I do appreciate efficiency at my own pace, I don't like to be hurried, but I will rush into something just to feel what it would be like.

Socionics states I'm an IEI-Ni2, it has also called me an ILE-Ti so I don't know whether I trust the website or not. I feel like I could be either:
- ESI (I've consistently scored high Ti in cognitive functions tests and my dad seems to think I'm an INFJ, we took the 16 personalities test together)
- SLI (digging my claws into my arms to feel something, little did I know that I have retractable metal blades)
- EIE (I just want to feel loved, so I'm gonna try a bunch of random shit because if I dye my hair blue then it symbolizes the colors of my thoughts leaking through my brain and killing my brain cells off)

I don't feel like an SEI. There again, I'm usually wrong.

TL;DR: The false beliefs make me think I'm unique when in actuality I'm just whiny.

I can't be bothered to type any more.

Or maybe I am intuitive because as the stereotype goes, 'only sensors drink toilet water. I don't drink toilet water, therefore I must be an ENTJ.'

 

[Mind Maverick]

Hey there. So, ISFP 9w8 ESI is a bit weird. These types very much contradict each other, especially the ESI and 9.

ESI
ESIs often have a tendency to be confrontational and may come across as unwavering and strict in their judgments and discipline. They are usually particularly oppositional towards those whom they mistrust or towards characters whose moral fortitude they are inclined to question. They may go out of their way to press judgment, fight for what they believe is ethically sound, or for those emotionally close to them.

ESIs may sometimes practice a variant of "tough love," challenging others towards acting in a way they feel is in their best interests. They can often come across as matter-of-fact and demanding in their expectations of others, and may have blunt advice, especially geared towards success in the material world. They are sometimes archetypally pictured as strict disciplinarians. Often, however, they may feel as though they challenge others no harder than they challenge themselves; they are often extensively self-critical and may strive hardest to live up to their own expectations for themselves. ESIs may concern themselves with following the rules or ettiquette for successfully interacting in a formal setting, and with dressing and coming across properly to others. They often have a keen sense of style.

Though ESIs are sometimes inclined to retreat from and avoid others, they at other times are not reticent to initiate contact and engage others intimately. They may become very absorbed and reliant on their emotional connections towards others. They may also at other times be highly proactive and constantly prepared to contact others or push others towards a state of activity.

---

E9
Want to create harmony in their environment, to avoid conflicts and tension, to preserve things as they are, to resist whatever would upset or disturb them.

Ironically, therefore, the only type the Nine is not like is the Nine itself. Being a separate self, an individual who must assert herself against others, is terrifying to Nines. They would rather melt into someone else or quietly follow their idyllic daydreams.

 

[Mind Maverick]

That could be Se though, idk.

Extroverted sensing includes the ability to know how much power, force, or influence is latent or required. Types that value Se are much more comfortable with direct behavior aimed at making an immediate impact. This may at times be perceived as abrasive, particularly by types who do not value Se. There is usually a competitive edge to this style of group interaction, resulting in a more intense atmosphere than that of introverted sensing (Si)-valuing quadras. They appreciate contemplating possibilities only if they feel like they stand to gain something from it, or it has a perceived potential impact on "the real world". Unlike Si, which is about one's subjective sensory experience (how intense or enjoyable it is), Se is about achieving an object of desire. It gives one the ability to influence, bend, and push situations and people in order to achieve such an object, rather than to enjoy the situation one is in.

That part I highlighted in blue - that is the difference between Ne and Se. If you are ESI, you are probably deeply annoyed by people trying to go over possibilities that have no relevance to the real/concrete world. A conversation/thought process that would have no appeal to you would be, for instance, "if people had horns, how would people be about them? (bullying people with some types of horns, other horns being considered more attractive, and so on and so on)". It's completely founded in theory and abstraction. There's nothing concrete about it because people don't have horns, will never have horns, and—from a sensor's perspective—it's entirely useless speculation and a waste of time.

 

[KurtCobain]

Hey there. So, ISFP 9w8 ESI is a bit weird. These types very much contradict each other, especially the ESI and 9.

ESI
ESIs often have a tendency to be confrontational and may come across as unwavering and strict in their judgments and discipline. They are usually particularly oppositional towards those whom they mistrust or towards characters whose moral fortitude they are inclined to question. They may go out of their way to press judgment, fight for what they believe is ethically sound, or for those emotionally close to them.

ESIs may sometimes practice a variant of "tough love," challenging others towards acting in a way they feel is in their best interests. They can often come across as matter-of-fact and demanding in their expectations of others, and may have blunt advice, especially geared towards success in the material world. They are sometimes archetypally pictured as strict disciplinarians. Often, however, they may feel as though they challenge others no harder than they challenge themselves; they are often extensively self-critical and may strive hardest to live up to their own expectations for themselves. ESIs may concern themselves with following the rules or ettiquette for successfully interacting in a formal setting, and with dressing and coming across properly to others. They often have a keen sense of style.

Though ESIs are sometimes inclined to retreat from and avoid others, they at other times are not reticent to initiate contact and engage others intimately. They may become very absorbed and reliant on their emotional connections towards others. They may also at other times be highly proactive and constantly prepared to contact others or push others towards a state of activity.

---

E9
Want to create harmony in their environment, to avoid conflicts and tension, to preserve things as they are, to resist whatever would upset or disturb them.

Ironically, therefore, the only type the Nine is not like is the Nine itself. Being a separate self, an individual who must assert herself against others, is terrifying to Nines. They would rather melt into someone else or quietly follow their idyllic daydreams.

Yeah, I'm unlikely to be confrontational at first, unless something is very far beyond the pale of what's acceptable. Generally I'm overly laid back and passive, preferring to just do my own thing and relax alone, and occasionally gently reform the world to something better as needed...but I generally won't try to fix what isn't broken. Some people are so boorish and dangerous to others though, that they must be set right for the good of the community.

 

[Pionart]

SiTe, with a lot of Ne.