Algora J
New member
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2008
- Messages
- 122
Anyhow, I was consulting with a male ENFP friend of mine, and he has been trapped in circulating thoughts of why his relationships ended and never seems be able to move on.
We've dissected some reasons for this, and I believe ENFPs- male or female, tend to have problems ending relationships and ceaselessly hang on despite the fact that it is made clear to them that the relationship is OVER.
Anyhow, here is a list on how to string along an ENFP:
1. Criticize them about their looks, intelligence and lifestyle choices. ENFPs have a masochistic side, have low opinions of themselves and will immediately be attracted to and attach themselves to anyone who criticizes them. Ironically ENFPs will not like people who are actually respectful and nice to them. Since ENFPs are the most common type in the population, this is where all the ridiculous pop psychology books "He's just not that into you" and "The Rules" come from. These are made for the ENFP.
2. Use them for sex. ENFPs believe sex is a sign of love, in polar opposite to the way NTs think sex is an EXPRESSION of sexual desire. Sexual desire does not necessarily equate love. However, ENFPs will hang on to a relationship as long as there is sex involved, because to them, sex IS love and what they value the most in a relationship of the opposite sex.
3. You might be feeling guilty about hurting an ENFP, so occasionally you throw out a compliment to the ENFP. Do not do this. The ENFP will interpret that as a sign of getting back together. In their minds- the relationship never ended, and despite the fact that you showed clear signs that you did not want the relationship to continue, they will ironically, BLAME themselves for the end of the relationship and think that they were in the wrong and not a combination of you and the ENFP together that lead to the demise. The ENFP will turn over the events in her/his head over and over, and think she/he should've done something differently. So if you are in that break-up phase, don't compliment or say nice things to the ENFP, they will misinterpret this as a sign that you will get back together.
Anyhow, I think that covers most of it. ENFPs are sensitive, but they have a hard time letting go so it's best to quickly rip the band-aid off, then forever string them along.
We've dissected some reasons for this, and I believe ENFPs- male or female, tend to have problems ending relationships and ceaselessly hang on despite the fact that it is made clear to them that the relationship is OVER.
Anyhow, here is a list on how to string along an ENFP:
1. Criticize them about their looks, intelligence and lifestyle choices. ENFPs have a masochistic side, have low opinions of themselves and will immediately be attracted to and attach themselves to anyone who criticizes them. Ironically ENFPs will not like people who are actually respectful and nice to them. Since ENFPs are the most common type in the population, this is where all the ridiculous pop psychology books "He's just not that into you" and "The Rules" come from. These are made for the ENFP.
2. Use them for sex. ENFPs believe sex is a sign of love, in polar opposite to the way NTs think sex is an EXPRESSION of sexual desire. Sexual desire does not necessarily equate love. However, ENFPs will hang on to a relationship as long as there is sex involved, because to them, sex IS love and what they value the most in a relationship of the opposite sex.
3. You might be feeling guilty about hurting an ENFP, so occasionally you throw out a compliment to the ENFP. Do not do this. The ENFP will interpret that as a sign of getting back together. In their minds- the relationship never ended, and despite the fact that you showed clear signs that you did not want the relationship to continue, they will ironically, BLAME themselves for the end of the relationship and think that they were in the wrong and not a combination of you and the ENFP together that lead to the demise. The ENFP will turn over the events in her/his head over and over, and think she/he should've done something differently. So if you are in that break-up phase, don't compliment or say nice things to the ENFP, they will misinterpret this as a sign that you will get back together.
Anyhow, I think that covers most of it. ENFPs are sensitive, but they have a hard time letting go so it's best to quickly rip the band-aid off, then forever string them along.