Well, actually I don't balance my ideals that often with reality. Sounds like my life is quite the mess, but actually it's not. Let me explain.
I am aware I have high standards and what is good enough for others is often not good enough for me. So you could say I'm a perfectionist and in some ways I am, but when I thought about me as a perfectionist, it never really felt right. That's because there was a time I questioned my ideals and thought 'are they really that unattainable and impractical?' Analazying what I truly tried to achieve showed me which ideals were unrealistic. Some were, some weren't. Some ideals do need time to be made into a reality and I've made it a habit to weigh if I got the time to achieve them or if it's even worth putting time and effort in order to make certain things happen or not.
So, that's why I wouldn't call myself a perfectionist, but just ambitious and definitely an idealist.
I don't see a problem with being ambitious and wanting certain things but you need to apply some critical thinking and common sense instead of letting it run wild. See, I've met idealists who over the years let go of their ideals or at least watered them down or let them become watered down by various harsh life experiences. If any idealist wants to let go of their ideals because they find them too overbearing, that's okay. Do your thing. But like I said, there's nothing wrong with being ambitious and having certain standards if you apply some common sense to it. There are some ideals that will, over time, become clear to you, that they're just too hard to mantain or even hindering you from going as a person or whatever. It actually comes down to personal experience. I'm still learning which ideals are worth keeping and which one better get tossed.
Now, there are certain things I have no control over and can not make them happen because they lay in someone else's hands. Let's say friendships and how I'd like them to be. Over the last years I questioned my ideals a lot and found what it comes down to is what I'm willing to put up with and which behaviours certainly don't go. That is a thing we all actually have to discern, whether you're an idealist or not. We all need boundaries and we all need to set a certain standard in our friendships. Learning which boundaries are doing you good and which not can be quite a messy journey, but over the time I figured it out and came out of the jungle with a clearer perspective on things. And I learned to be cautious about asking for certain ideals to be met because as idealists we do tend to be harsher towards other people. Correct me on that if I'm wrong, it's just, from what I've seen, idealists are judging other people's behaviour very harshly at times, and they mean it. But NT's, I've found, often use harsher words but don't mean it that way, and don't really hold grudges so much, I find. Anyway, this is just my experience and I don't wanna act like I know what all idealists or NT's are like, it's just my experience.
Now, to be frank, I personally find it not that hard to call myself out when I'm in that 'judging people too harshly and expecting unrealistic things from people'-phase, because all I find I need to do is, sit back and relax. And I think in terms of typology, what happens is, I let my Ne take over. And Ne is super helpful with balancing my harsh standards and telling me to seek communication, talking it out, instead of canceling someone because of an arguments or difference in opinion. So, that's what I can do to put my ideals into place when they are about to take over.
See, that's why I said in the beginning, I don't really balance my ideals with reality. Because after evaluating if it's worth the time and effort, I'm still working on turning some ideals into a reality. Because if it's possible to achieve something and you got the resources for it, why not go for it?
Side-Note: I've just realized I forgot to talk about the motivation for having certain ideals. I do always see potential in the environment around me, that's the kind of person I've always been. And it's fun and an adventure to meet a certain goal. That in itself is totally fine. It's just when I think about having ideals when it comes to people, our reason for having certain standards aren't always good for us. I personally haven't, but I met people who based their ideals on unrealistic expectations they have taken from movies or what not. And that will ultimately make you stumble and fall. Take a close look at your motivations, intentions and if it makes sense to have a certain ideal, or if it's hindering to you.