proteanmix
Plumage and Moult
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2007
- Messages
- 5,514
- Enneagram
- 1w2
An ESFJ came up to me and did the weirdest thing this week.
She said to me, "Do you know what I do when I get up in the morning?" and I said, "No but you're going to tell me." laugh laugh laugh. Then she continued, "Every morning I get and ask myself how can I make my self better today." And I was like "Seriously?" More conversation. Then she says, "But I've been wondering over the last few months, why am I doing this? What is my rush? Why do I feel like I have to accomplish so much by the time I'm 30? Who am I racing against? I overheard a woman on the subway talking about getting her college degree at 40. Why I am running so hard and fast?"
She initiated what I would consider an "abstract" conversation and she's only 24! Her Ne isn't due to cross the horizon for at least another 20-25 years! And the conversation was more than 20 minutes! But sadly after that we starting talking about Beyonce.
From what I'm interpreting people saying in this thread is they expect this type of conversation non-stop all the time. And the type of abstract conversations I think NFs want is to have someone pour out their heart and soul. I'd like to ask those who feel like they're not getting enough of this type of conversation from people what are you doing to cultivate an atmosphere where people feel comfortable talking to you like this? Certainly, you understand that some people (I'd say most people) wouldn't casually bust out with this? So many of these complaints are based on the fact that you may be closed off yourself and when you do decide to foray into conversations like this with others you have no foundation or platform set for them to happen. And then you get upset when they don't happen when you've done nothing to make them happen.
I have conversations like this with various Essess nearly every other day. Honestly, I wouldn't even talk to half of the people who've commented on this thread about anything abstract and deep because I seriously detect a superior attitude and perhaps others detect this as well. I have found little reason to significantly change my casual conversational topics because someone won't be interested in it. I find an angle to make the conversation as interesting and engaging for most people involved. Use your precious N to figure out how.
She said to me, "Do you know what I do when I get up in the morning?" and I said, "No but you're going to tell me." laugh laugh laugh. Then she continued, "Every morning I get and ask myself how can I make my self better today." And I was like "Seriously?" More conversation. Then she says, "But I've been wondering over the last few months, why am I doing this? What is my rush? Why do I feel like I have to accomplish so much by the time I'm 30? Who am I racing against? I overheard a woman on the subway talking about getting her college degree at 40. Why I am running so hard and fast?"
She initiated what I would consider an "abstract" conversation and she's only 24! Her Ne isn't due to cross the horizon for at least another 20-25 years! And the conversation was more than 20 minutes! But sadly after that we starting talking about Beyonce.
From what I'm interpreting people saying in this thread is they expect this type of conversation non-stop all the time. And the type of abstract conversations I think NFs want is to have someone pour out their heart and soul. I'd like to ask those who feel like they're not getting enough of this type of conversation from people what are you doing to cultivate an atmosphere where people feel comfortable talking to you like this? Certainly, you understand that some people (I'd say most people) wouldn't casually bust out with this? So many of these complaints are based on the fact that you may be closed off yourself and when you do decide to foray into conversations like this with others you have no foundation or platform set for them to happen. And then you get upset when they don't happen when you've done nothing to make them happen.
I have conversations like this with various Essess nearly every other day. Honestly, I wouldn't even talk to half of the people who've commented on this thread about anything abstract and deep because I seriously detect a superior attitude and perhaps others detect this as well. I have found little reason to significantly change my casual conversational topics because someone won't be interested in it. I find an angle to make the conversation as interesting and engaging for most people involved. Use your precious N to figure out how.