I'm thinking of 2 specific people right now, although there have been more in the past.
The ENFJ says stuff like, "We will be friends forever," "We click so well together," "You are really special to me," touches and hugs a lot and uses a lot of great body language that would indicate a really close friend, but then never calls or initiates getting together. I'm the one who has to do the contact, but then he always acts so delighted that I did. We were at the same event once and the ENFJ talked to absolutely everyone but me, and then when he saw me later he said something along the lines of "Didn't we have such a great time together today?" What? I don't get that at all.
Hm. I would never say those things to another human being unless I actually thought them. Even if my feeling on that changed, it would still have been genuine when said.
For me, I'll like people a good deal, but then hesitate to initiate a hangout. It's may be being unclear on what to do and what they are fine, or that there is some external reason to potentially avoid. That, or wanting to see if they initiate in order to grasp where the friendship stands to them. Problem being we do get so lost in flitting around sometimes, especially tending to those who don't seem fine on their own.
So it depends, but I wouldn't talk someone up that I didn't like, or there'd be a severe decrease if my opinion changed toward them/the relationship.
My sister usually seems tense when she doesn't like someone, like her vibe changes. She's a very "open" sort of person, but she has a frosty judgmental side, she's a human being, and she will pride herself on being restrained and remaining polite and speaking reasonably and she has this thing about not raising her voice, but her vibe is not as warm. It is polite but cold.
Definitely. I've found even my mannerisms may change. Making less eye contact, or looking elsewhere more frequently. Trying to bring in another consort to even out the situation, but changing the focus away from the disliked party, even in an inclusive manner.
Typically, I'll want one on one time if I am enjoying someone, or I will want to flit them around alongside me and make them a focal point of discussion.
I have an ENFJ friend that I've wondered the same things about. For a long time, they never invited me to anything. We saw eachother frequently because we have mutual friends that do the planning, or I would invite sometimes, but the ENFJ never did. I take that back, a couple of times they initiated planning to help me do something, but not just social activities.
They would always keep in contact with me, so I know they weren't avoiding me, but never made plans to get together. Finally, after a period of time where no one made plans to do anything, they did initiate and start inviting although sheepishly.
Maybe it's because there's no need to plan if someone else is already doing it? Or maybe it's a fear of being turned down if they're not a very secure ENFJ?
Biggest hesitations for me: Not having a proper gauge on what sort of one-on-one hanging out is accepted by the prosepctive person. Feeling that prospective person is more of a friend to someone else in the group, and that we only hang out in the presence of that other friend.
I have two situations like this presently, where I absolutely adore two ladyfriends, but am only ever around them when my INFP is around. Sometimes we'll try to man up and bridge the gap, but we don't want to step on toes or be awkward about it. Excessive Fe-Ni paranoia, mayhaps?
LOLz @ enfj they seem like players.
Yo dawg, don't hate the player.. hate the game..
Werd.
Ow lol.