Where did I say there was something wrong with the ISTJ beyond pregnancy hormonal issues? How about nowhere?
The triggers are on his side. First wife goes nuts trying to get pregnant. She turns on him harshly, whereby he suffered serious emotional abuse. Girlfriend in his eyes goes nut while being pregnant. Flashback.
He should get some therapy to try to work through his issues from his marriage but she will also have to tone down her hormonal reactions if at all possible. NTJs don't react well to emotional barrages of the irrational kind and INTJs are worse at it than ENTJs since they're so inside of themselves. An INTJ under stress reacts like an unhealthy ENTP (shadow).
Oh I apologize for the misunderstanding. I thought you meant both women had severe mental illness triggered by pregnancy. I started thinking...what is this, 1864? The myth of the hysterical women? All those men used to lock their wives away for nothing more than being hormonal and emotional. In essence, they were institutionalized for being...women.
But I agree, the case with the ex-wife probably spooked him. He needs to take responsibility though and get therapy then, and also try to be a bit more understanding that his partner is pregnant. I have found out recently that INTJs don't do well with being bombarded with emotional conversations, and when they're met with more emotional clinginess after pulling away, they pull away harder. Makes so much sense, IME with male INTJs.
Maybe someone should show this lady MBTI. Orobas? Haha do you think that would help?
But there's also responsibility on his end, like I said, to get therapy and to try to understand that ISTJ is pregnant and hormonal. I mean he's a 40 year old INTJ, not a 25 year old INTJ. They have to grow up eventually, and developing emotional intelligence is just as important for an INTJ as developing rational thinking is for, say, an ENFP or ISFJ.