I have a lot of experience in this. Hopefully I can help.
So last year, I was in a job in a law firm that could be described as abusive. I went to law school, it was always my dream to be an attorney, and then when I finally was, it was miserable. Totally and completely miserable. And I wasn't all that great at it. And I made little more than minimum wage for the amount of time I put in. But I stayed in it because I felt like I had spent all this time and energy and money trying to get to that job, and that it would be wasted if I didn't continue on.
That's when I heard about the Sunk Cost Fallacy. The Sunk Cost Fallacy is the mistaken belief that if you've spent a lot of time and money doing something that has proven unsuccessful, the only way to make it a success is to keep pouring time and money into it. Gamblers fall into this trap a lot--they think, "I've already lost so much money, the only way to come out on top is to pour more money in."
The only way to beat this fallacy is to recognize when you need to cut your losses and do something else. Break the pattern of sinking in more time, money, and effort.
Once I figured out that the law wasn't for me, I brainstormed about the type of job that I would enjoy, but that would also play to my strengths. I decided that anything to do with writing, editing, documentation, and customer service would be ideal. But I also wanted a job that would value my legal training.
And I started my search, mainly through sites like Indeed.com.
I landed a small side-hustle editing blog posts for law firms through an online marketing company. This wasn't enough to make ends meet, but it was something on my resume that showed experience in the type of job I wanted. I had to keep the job I hated for the money, but that side-hustle got my foot in the door in the job field I desired.
Two months later, I applied for an editor position with a company that creates instruction manuals and other kinds of documentation for government agencies. I got a call back from them because they were impressed by my editing job, but they also thought that my legal training would be beneficial in understanding the laws and codes to which their products had to conform.
AND THEY HIRED ME. I make significantly more than I did at the law firm, and I finally work normal hours, which allows me to have a life outside of the job. Not only that, but I get to write and edit, which is something I love, in a field where my previous training is appreciated.
But this job isn't without its pitfalls. I had to come to terms with the reality that the perfect job doesn't exist--there will always be struggles with coworkers, tough bosses, and days where I'd rather lay in bed. But having a job that doesn't completely rule my life makes up for it. At the law firm, I worked six days a week consistently, sometimes seven. I got two days off a month, on average. But now my weekends are mine, and everything after 5:00 on weekdays is mine, too. I have the time and energy to lead a fulfilling life outside of the job. And that is everything.
So I suppose my advice is as follows:
1) Identify not only what kind of job you would enjoy, but also what kind of job plays to your strengths and experience. And don't be afraid to think outside the box.
2) Hit the bricks and start searching. Get your resume out there. Look in industries you might not have considered before. Don't rule out anything in which you could excel.
3) Don't be afraid of taking a side-hustle or part-time gig--sure, it's more work temporarily, but it could get your foot in the door in an industry you want. The extra hours outside your main job could lead to something you want.
4) Don't fall prey to the Sunk Cost Fallacy.
5) Be patient. It took me months to get the job I wanted, I was exhausted, and I faced a lot of rejection along the way. I would get discouraged, but the times I let that get to me were times I wasted.
I hope that was all helpful, and good luck!