So I've been doing some introspection (as per usual) and I started thinking about how (at least in my experience) Fe conflicts with type 4 main thing being unique. For example I look at people and part of me doesn't want to be like them or do what they do. I prefer to be my own person and do my own thing not conform, but there is a part of me that the seems to be growing, that makes me want to be like everyone else. Act like stereotypical 20 something year old human. Although its been growing I've always had that part of me. I guess I could be envy that I feel towards those kind of people. What I wouldn't give to have a zest for life like it seems they do..anyway I'm getting off track, but my point is do you all think that maybe having Fe as a Dom or Aux conflicts with being a Enneagram type 4? or is it maybe because I'm a 4 then a 6 in my tritype and there conflictive too?
Thanks!
What does the need to conform
feel like, for you? Sure, I'm also compelled to conform to some extent; I feel the need to have a job and to earn money, I force myself to exercise politeness at times when I might not otherwise, and I probably wouldn't walk down the street naked (even if only because I wouldn't like to be arrested). However, when it comes to personal opinions, likes and dislikes, habits, hobbies, and interests, I don't care whether mine mesh with those commonly found in the general public...and they very often do not. In this context, I struggle to understand the desire to fit in. I do not deliberately make the choices that I do out of a need to build some kind of identity for myself; I honestly just have preferences and personality traits that seem to set me apart from others. As a little kid, I was picked on for my differences, but now I've learned to accept and even like them. Why be anything other than yourself?
I don't necessarily see a conflict between nonconformity and outwardly expressed emotional communication. I use Fe, and 4 is in my tritype (a
very close second to type 1, I might add), and I haven't felt the dissonance some of you are describing. Maybe the presence of type 6 creates more of that conflict? Ultimately, though, I think it boils down to who you are as an individual, and to your levels of self-confidence and interpersonal comfort.