If I may…
As far as what we're thinking....often we don't even know what we're thinking. How the hell am I supposed to translate that externally to someone else 'in the moment'?? It helps if someone is willing to help me work through my thoughts with them. Cue patience, listening and asking the right questions while alowing down time to formulate answers.
Well, we can’t be twins after all, and this is one area where we differ I think. Maybe enneagram influences this? I almost always know what I am thinking and feeling, I just sometimes have trouble conveying it in a satisfying way, especially if I am concerned about the other person’s possible reaction or being misunderstood.
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When I said "play the game", I wasn't saying all the men had to act like Bill Bellamy, and all the ladies had to act like tricks and hos. It is not a societally-defined game that must be played. But it is a game. When you know how to play it, it's actually fun. Believe it or not, it's probably, to a large extent, written into our DNA (neither of our types tend to be very good at it, tho), and even your fellow INFP Mr. Shakespeare wrote a play in which the female protagonist had to learn to let down her bitch (clueless?) shield and play it.
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Yes, you’re right. And sx INFPs might be better at it, or at least have a more positive regard for it than other stackings. I think sx primaries relish this perhaps more than other stackings even though the other stackings enjoy it…and it can indeed be fun... like a dance almost... as long as it
does stay authentic.. which brings me to….
Playing the game is learning how to flirt with a potential person of interest.:
I thoroughly enjoy flirting. But that’s the rub – it indicates interest. Meaning. Or at least, it is supposed to. This is very individual. Flirting really does indicate interest for some people – interest that can be very selective. Whereas it indicates nearly nothing for others, and is merely a form of recreation. Therefore, my flirting increases exponentially with each level of comfort reached. I get progressively more flirtatious in order to convey my regard and that the person is attractive. Whereas many people flirt heavily and indiscriminately in the beginning of any interaction with anyone, rendering the meaning diminished and intent unclear. So in many INFPs one finds the converse pattern that is found in the majority of people, with the flirting starting out very light (in the case of the OP, big smiles for example) and steadily increasing in volume as the relationship becomes more meaningful and secure (smacking my husband on the butt, teasing, and trying to seduce him every time he’s even remotely within reach, for example.)
I think INFPs differ greatly from ENFPs in this regard. INFPs are more apt to use flirting more judiciously, whereas ENFPs...... well..... let's face it..... ENFPs aren’t necessarily flirting because it means anything… it’s because it’s Tuesday.
I believe you said in another post something to the effect that an ENTJ you know is like half the research but twice the volume of an INTJ. This is true with ENFPs and INFPs as well, only it is half the sincerity/meaning/depth and twice the volume. Of course there are flighty/moody individual INFPs and very sincere ENFPs, but in terms of the two types in general, INFPs have twice the staying power, depth, and intention of ENFPs. INFPs also have all the playfulness and effervescence of ENFPs as well, but we aren’t going to show that to just anyone, and that comes out as the relationship progresses. It is true we can be a pain in the beginning, but the trade off is worth it. I prefer INTJs to ENTJs for the same reason. INTJs are much more work at first than ENTJs, but the best things in life are worth working for.
Remembering why INFPs are such a pain in the ass
And speaking of INTJs ….look man… you want to talk about pains in the asses? Because we can go there.
Also want to say, [MENTION=15593]INTJguy123[/MENTION] should be the poster boy for awesome INTJs, because his direct, pointed, authentic, and closure-oriented method would work on any INFP that was worth having. You go boy.