freeeekyyy
Cheeseburgers
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2010
- Messages
- 1,384
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
So, I have a relationship with an ENFP girl that I've known for a little over a year now. Last March, we really started to get close. We saw each other nearly every day, expressed our love for each other, and even talked about marrying someday. At the end of May, she suddenly decided that we needed to cool down. I agreed. Moving as quickly as we did in a romantic direction is unhealthy. We remained friends however and still saw each other at least once a week. Fast forward to July. Due to issues with finding employment, I was basically forced to move away. She told me that it hurt more than she could even express. I believed her. We maintained spotty communication with each other until the end of August. I made a trip home and saw her in person. That very day, she told me that she thought I was becoming too dependent on her, and to not contact her anymore. She seemed very sad about it, like it wasn't something she wanted to do. We hugged and parted ways. I didn't speak to her again until November. I made another trip up for thanksgiving, and saw her at a Christmas party. I knew she was going to be there, so I gave her a birthday gift, since her birthday was also coming up. I could tell she really appreciated it. She apologized for ending our relationship so suddenly. She also told me to feel free to email her or call her sometime. So, I left. Several days later she contacted me and told me again how great the gift was and acted like whatever was wrong, it was over. So I believed it. Anyway, tried to contact her later in December, since I was up for Christmas. She didn't answer any of my phone calls or reply to my emails. I tried again yesterday, since I'm going to be up next weekend I figured it was an opportunity to see her. She did respond to my message this time. She told me that the she was still certain of the decision she made in August, and to not contact her again. I wrote up a message for her last night, pouring out my heart to her. It basically tells her exactly how much I love her, how much this hurts me, and demands an explanation for her behavior. I also said in it that if she really does want me to never contact her again, I'll respect it, but that I need to know the full reason why she did what she did first. So, what it comes down to is this: I need the input of some ENFPs. Any idea what she might be thinking? Should I send the message? Last time she told me not to contact her, I did as she asked. Since then, I've often wondered whether that was a mistake. Should I ignore her request this time so that I can get the full story, and try to fix things? Or should I just put her out of my mind as if I never knew her? Like a typical INTJ I'm not super-sensitive, but I've shed tears over this girl. I love her so much. I don't want to lose her, but if that's what she wants, I need to accept it. Anybody who can help me or give me advice, please do.