Just Jumping in here.
I know that the INTJ is the suggested "natural partner" for the ENFP, but I can't stand EVERY INTJ I have ever met. I realize that's a hugely mean thing to say (I'm sorry!), but I have yet to be introduced to an INTJ that I liked.
They are vindictive, cold, insensitive, and mooch without so much as a thanks.
I know this most likely isn't true for all INTJ's, but what could be the reason behind these particularly annoying INTJs?
I personally am drawn more towards the INFJ (Albeit, in a much more family-oriented way. My almost-brother friend and my father <3). They tend to be more sensitive and understanding toward the ENFP's natural drama, but also need us to coddle them a little and coax them out of their natural moody shell. Definitely one of my favorite types.
What are your experiences with the INTJ and/or the INFJ, my fellow ENFPs?
I was googling for something else regarding ENFPs and came across this thread, and I see that it has gone on for some time, and I haven't bothered to read all of the responses. However, I thought I would add my two cents, since I believe I have a very helpful perspective.
I am an ENFP if there ever was one. So much so that when my family found the test and we all took it, I was the joke of the year for finally being pegged! Whenever anyone reads the description of ENFPs they remark that it is my biography. I do not straddle any other personality types and am a CHAMPION through and through.
I am also engaged to an INTJ, my wonderful Mastermind, and we are the truest testament to the perfect match that these two personality types make. We had dated almost two years before we both took this test and saw that our personality types were suggested as good mates, and it was no surprise. Everyone in our lives refers to us as "the ideal couple." But regardless of what anyone outside our relationship says, I can personally testify that he is my ideal match in every way.
The best thing about the ENFP/INTJ match up is the balancing element. I am enigmatic, talkative, intellectually adventurous and probing and passionate to a fault. I am also really fun and silly at times. Joe Butt's article on ENFPs says the following: "ENFPs have what some call a “silly switch.” They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Som etimes they may even appear intoxicated when the “switch” is flipped." This is so true of me, and my fiance LOVES this about me. He is serious and meticulous and calculating, but in a one-on-one environment, his softer, sweeter and own youthful nature comes out and I really bring this out in him. He definitely credits me with keeping him young.
In turn, he is my ROCK. I get very stressed out about money issues or things that require me to sit down and do accounting/budgeting/scheduling in an exacting nature and he calmly and gently guides me through these things and is effortlessly giving of time and resources. Essentially, he fuels my flight. I wouldn't have the freedom and support to be the soaring, busy, moving, achieving person I am without him.
What I really want to comment on in regard to your concern is that I wonder if you have all the personality types down correctly. I am not trying to be presumptuous, but what you described above is NOT an INTJ. "They are vindictive, cold, insensitive, and mooch without so much as a thanks." Every count here is wrong, to me. My fiance, and this is characteristic of other INTJs from my reading, couldn't hold a grudge or be vindictive if he TRIED. Now, what he DOES believe in is justice. Fairness. Things ought to be equitable and people ought to be accountable. But he holds far fewer grudges than even I do! Secondly, INTJs only appear cold to those who don't know them. They see no value in shallow relationships with those they don't care for or don't have much in common with. When you get to know them, they are inextricably warm. My fiance is the warmest, kindest person I know, but VERY hard to get to know. My best friend thought he didn't like her for a good long while, which wasn't true at all! He is just a little shy at first, and spent a long time just listening to her to get to know her (another ENFP) before he offered a lot of his own opinions. INTJs are good listeners. But not cold. And never selfish or insensitive. As for mooching, this is what most convinces me that the people you know are NOT really INTJs. INTJs are FIERCELY independent! Mooching is much more of an artisan quality (I love artisans, too! This is not a dis!) My fiance wouldn't take from ANYONE. He offered my family at the outset of our engagement to pay for the entire wedding, and gratefully accepted whatever involvement my family wanted to have, but expected nothing. Autonomy is essential to an INTJs sense of self-worth. I don't think these people you have met are really INTJs.
Remember that INTJs are one of the RAREST of all personality types. Maybe one to two percent of the population. I'd venture you haven't actually met one yet, and when you do, you'll know it.