penelope
New member
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2008
- Messages
- 249
- MBTI Type
- INxJ
So, quick rundown before I get to the problem: I'm in this AMAZING relationship with an ENFP. We're both totally dedicated to making it the best relationship possible, so whenever we run into a problem, we solve it.
However, something's come up and I'm having the hardest time understanding it and trying to find a way to fix it.
Basically, as a couple, we're not too good at being social. He's extroverted, so of course he loves being around people, but I'm incredibly introverted and usually in my own world. And now that he's a part of it, he's all I'm interested in being around, if that makes sense. In a social setting, on my own even, I'm still outside of it all, listening and observing and occasionally participating. And that's comfortable with me. But he's so intuitive and connected with me, that when we're together, he can tell that all I want is to be with him, and it makes it very hard for him to enjoy his time with other people and he's said that it's very frustrating to have to decide between being with me because he feels that pull from me and spending time with his friends. He doesn't like that he feels he has to represent the both of us as a couple, because I'm not so outgoing and am uncomfortable in social situations (and in this one, it was with people that I barely know, so of course I cling to him).
I don't know how to fix that or know exactly what needs to be fixed. Being introverted is such a huge part of who I am, and I don't even realize that I'm "pulling" him, and that he feels no choice but to respond to that.
Any ideas? Thanks!
However, something's come up and I'm having the hardest time understanding it and trying to find a way to fix it.
Basically, as a couple, we're not too good at being social. He's extroverted, so of course he loves being around people, but I'm incredibly introverted and usually in my own world. And now that he's a part of it, he's all I'm interested in being around, if that makes sense. In a social setting, on my own even, I'm still outside of it all, listening and observing and occasionally participating. And that's comfortable with me. But he's so intuitive and connected with me, that when we're together, he can tell that all I want is to be with him, and it makes it very hard for him to enjoy his time with other people and he's said that it's very frustrating to have to decide between being with me because he feels that pull from me and spending time with his friends. He doesn't like that he feels he has to represent the both of us as a couple, because I'm not so outgoing and am uncomfortable in social situations (and in this one, it was with people that I barely know, so of course I cling to him).
I don't know how to fix that or know exactly what needs to be fixed. Being introverted is such a huge part of who I am, and I don't even realize that I'm "pulling" him, and that he feels no choice but to respond to that.
Any ideas? Thanks!