I think I may have said this before, but I'm not sure.
I'm beginning to distinguish between the different types of Fe and the various ways Fe can manifest itself. I know most people conceive of Fe as being manners, etiquette, and nurturing behavior but I've met and work with a sizable portion of EFJs (mostly ESFJs) that this doesn't seem to manifest itself in a typical way. I'm using ESFJs as a contrast because they're also Fe dominate and I find it's easier to describe with ESFJs because they're more abundant and it may be easier to spot. I'm not sure if this is an ESFJ thing or an ENFJ thing.
I can spot an ESFJ immediately. I think they have not only the advantage of abundance, but also being able to ground their Fe in the Now, making them more "real/less immaterial" in a sense, than say ENFJs who apparently exist though I've never met another but my lunatic friend Taco. They're edgy, but in a different way from ENFJs. I would consider most ESFJs to be optimistic but not ridiculously so (my friend Jorge was a Marine and had seen a lot of bad stuff - he took his duty seriously, but he was a real jokester, and got along with everybody. He stuck up for the "little guy", and took up for me more than once when I was being railroaded. He liked people to get along, but I would never want to cross him up. He had a big temper under that outward mannerly demeanor.)
Soap operas are a great place to type people, especially because there are so few Ns involved and it's funner to watch the nearly-unadulterated Ss in action. Here are my takes:
ESFJs:
Amber (the Young and the Restless)
Kevin (")
Lizzie Spaulding (Guiding Light)
Amber shares my sense of elaborate style and deeply emotional approach to life and loved ones, but her S really grounds her in the moment and makes her seem even more Fe concentrated and over-the-top. Same with Lizzie. She's hilarious, witty, stylized and Fe-powered, but her identification with reality is very Now and not immaterial whatsoever, even in her whimsical moments. (Side note: All three characters are paired with ISFPs and it really works... I really like the dynamic of Fe/Si-Fi/Se.)
Eastenders:
Billy
Barry (though I really don't like to use Barry as an example... such a buffoon...)
Mr. Bingley (Pride and Prejudice)
I'd love to hear ENFJs and ESFJs describe how they experience Fe, but sometimes I find Fe to be like water. Ubiquitous and tasteless in the sense of lacking the physical sense of taste, odor, or smell. It's like a base, you can add flavor to it and it can become any type of drink you want it to be. Fe is very absorbent and reflective and takes on the qualities of it's environment. So I have quite a few ESFJs at my job who's Fe looks colorless. I can only base this on their workplace behavior but I try to take situations where we're relaxed as more of a basis for this.
Fe is very easily transmogrified to its environs. I don't know about anyone else, but I'll go chameleon in a situation I'm new to or am unsure about. I think Fe has a way of attempting to blend in a temporary manner so it can size up the room. Fe is action-oriented, in my opinion, and it wants to know how the people recieve others, what the acceptible "norm" is for maximum social success in said situation. That's what makes Fe so dominant in the social arena. It knows generally and instinctively how to read the scene and the people in it.
With a couple of them I think I've figured out their type because I do see the need to connect with others, the emotional expressiveness, and natural calibration with their environment. They seem very current and trendy, almost SP-like, and their Si mostly comes through as factual knowledge retention and reminiscing but not necessarily traditional, kinda like pure_mercury. I think age also has a lot to do with it, because most of them are between 25 and 33 so maybe more stereotypical Fe characteristics will show up later in life. Also, I'm in the DC area and many people around here tend to be more educated so stereotypical Si traits may not be as obvious.
Pure Mercury is an excellent example of type. He's well-spoken, glib, knowledgable, and his bent toward music seems to correlate with other ESFJs I've known. The movie reviewer for our major local paper is an ExFJ, and I'm leaning toward S because he's not just funny and glib, but very observant, not squeamish, thoughtful and gives intelligent reasons for why he does or does not like a picture. He has a great capacity to remember movies and make comparisons, and his realm of interest is very broad, from French subtitled Afghani indie movies about pet ownership to blockbuster stuff like Batman.
These Fe dominants are harder to identify because they're not baking cookies and changing diapers, tend to be more sarcastic and wry than motherly/fatherly, not really fluffy, but they're very social and seem to pick up social cues quickly. And when I think about it further, you really can't have social harmony without some ability to be mutable. I'm not saying this is a go with the flow attitude, because that's more of an FP thing than FJ, just more of an ability to sublimate yourself.
We automatically figure out the values of others and use that make social decisions that will make things flow easily. Our interest is NOT control over the humans in our arena nor is it about being fake, it's about easy fluid dynamic and pleasing those people. Our value is found in the quality of our human interactions. Speaking for myself, if my human dynamics are flowing well, I get all the new ideas, randomness, data, creative charge and sharpening that I thrive on.
I don't want this to sound like mindless conformity because it's not. It's so easy to pin that label on Fe.
Easy and unfair. Especially compared to "cool" Fi which I think gets interpreted as more intelligent or fashionable.
I say all this because I'm just trying to isolate some components of Fe that I see rarely discussed in type descriptions. Mainly, I think could be a reason why it's so hard to identify ENFJs because you have this natural Fe reflectiveness and that's got Ni behind it and not all manifestations Ni are eccentric and bizarre. I don't know any ENFJs besides the ones on the forum and we're all very different people. The best example I can give is if you read how Lookin4 describes how she navigates her workplace through a mixture of drive, enthusiasm, charm, perceptiveness, and strategy. And it's easier to find examples of manipulative ENFJs than others.
I think ENFJs are also hard to pinpoint because they come off as either ENTJs or INFJs. I've found this to be personally troublesome.