this may be helpful
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
- freedom
- independence
- pleasure
- comfort
- adventure
- fun
- intellectual stimulation
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
I could care less about accomplishment. maybe I'll care about that after I have everything I want in my financial and personal life, but I don't now.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
- dependent
- a man who compromises his integrity
- being supplicating or insincere
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
- pain
- being deprived of pleasure
- being controlled by others
- being hurt by others
5. How do you want others to see you?
the way that I see myself. I don't care about other's opinions of me, but it bothers me when I am misunderstood. communication errors frustrate the hell out of me
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
best
- getting something I want
- relaxing
- knowing that I stood by my principles
- masturbating
- comfort
- the idea that I've made progress toward bettering my situation
- snuggling with a friend/intimate lover
- winning an argument
- paying someone back for a wrong doing (revenge implies being exceedingly angry/offended, I just tend to look at it as "he needed to be punished" or "he's not gonna try that again! hehehe!")
worst
- pain
- hard work but not reward
- boredom (though with the internet, I rarely experience this intensely anymore)
- taking orders from someone
- feeling that my desires are far away
- being wronged/people I love being wronged and not being able to do anything about it
- having to do something I don't want to do to survive/look after my long term best interest
- compromise, I want to do things MY way and am disappointed when I can't
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger
the following things make me angry
- people trying to control me
- people telling me I "should" do something
- people assuming they have any authority over me whatsoever
- people trying to control others
- people who physically harm me
- when I know something is wrong and am powerless to change it
- anyone who hurts me friends
- people who do not respect people's rights or freedoms
b) shame
honestly, I really don't ever feel shame. I have in the past, but not recently.
c) anxiety.
I don't experience a lot of anxiety, but things that I'm afraid of are
- rats
- the possibility of never getting what I want
- the idea of someone controlling me or my life
- the idea of being poor
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress
- I tend to drop everything and take time to myself to think and/or relax
- I procrastinate
- under extreme stress, I tend to shut down, become escapist and seek means to escape my circumstances
b)unexpected change
- I need a little time to adjust, but overall I'm fine
- however, if it's rushed or unpleasant change, I get cranky and feel like I'm being disturbed
c) conflict.
- generally it doesn't phase me, conflict is a natural part of life and should be dealt with directly and swiftly
- it gets annoying how personal people make everything and how they can't control themselves when angry.
- people who cause conflict deliberately are stupid and inconsiderate. they should either a) start/join a debate group b) play a competitive contact sport c) spar or d) pursue something interesting and challenging
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority
- I hate it. it is a socially reinforced illusion that I am forced to work around to ensure my survival and success
- I will cooperate with it if it is my best interest to do so
b) power. How do you respond to these?
- power = choice and options
- power is necessary to survive, be healthy, do what you want, be who you want, have safety/security
- power is neutral
- power doesn't corrupt, it reveals true character. most people are ideologically incongruent/lack solid values, lack character or have naive, foolish beliefs that undo them when they do acquire power.
- I want as much goddamn power as I can get!!!
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
- good, but weak, stupid and easily tempted into acts of evil or foolishness
- steadily improving (compare the average lifestyle of someone 100 years ago, 100 years before that etc)
- supplicating, looking to others for their confidence and self worth
11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
Throughout my life I've been beat up and forced to do things to my detriment, that hurt me or prevented me from expressing myself or doing things the way that I wanted to, I soon decided "I'm NEVER letting this happen to me again!" and have been studying ever since to gain financial power and independence in order to ensure that no one stands in the way of me getting what i want, doing what I want, being who I want or believing what I want
14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
- their core motivations
- their desires
- their hidden strengths
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I haven't really thought about it. I try to rely on people as little as possible if that gives you an idea.
13. List some of the traits you: a) like
- independent thinking
- respectful (to most people I seem disrespectful because I don't acknowledge social propriety or hierarchy and the differences in decorum entailed in such, but I respect everyone as valuable and having rights and freedoms. they can think what they want. I'm proud of my respect for people)
- bold
- expressive
- fun
- a man of integrity
- willing to stand up for what I believe in
- confident
- self loving
- intelligent
b) dislike most about yourself.
- difficulty concentrating
- difficulty working hard
- too brash and unpolished
- fearful of physical pain
- overly harsh sometimes
- suck at routine, manual labor or anything technical
- frankly, I can be a bitch sometimes
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
if they compliment me
- I politely say "thank you"
- generally I'm thinking "I know" or "that wasn't helpful"
- I don't need encouragement or compliments from other people
- if they're trying to flatter me, I can get very aggressive
if they insult me
- I generally don't much care
- sometimes I'll go into Te debate and verbally bitch slap them, more for my own amusement than because I was offended
- if it was constructive and helpful I'll say "thank you, I'll look into that"
- if it wasn't, I might ask "okay, what do you want me to do about it" if they can't say anything I follow up with "then please don't waste my time"
16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have
- growing up in a family where I was well provided for
- growing up in a family that wasn't abusive
- my mentors who have helped me
b) wish you could have? Why?
- a prettier face
- magical powers
- a longer life expectancy (like, say, 3000 years)
- everything else that I want I can get and plan to get with more money and freedom.