Okay, first -- wow, I can
finally post in the NF personal threads!!! Freakin' finally!!! Sheesh.
OK, now onto the OP
Maybe this is an E/I difference, but I truly enjoy being single. My life stays pretty active and I actually feel more free to meet more people when I'm not in a relationship. And by 'single' I mean not in a committed relationship. I can still date and consider myself to be single, in fact, since last summer I have basically been single and dating. Before then, I was back in school and I was single and single.
I've met enough people and seen enough relationships in my life to know that I do
not want to be stuck with someone and something if I am not feelng it. I don't necessarily feel like I'm single and waiting (though give it several more months or a year and I might get there), I feel like a free agent and I really like it!
I have high standards when it comes to love and relationships and I think this is type related. I can't fake the funk, I can't settle, and I refuse to go through the motions. It's not fun and it's just way too much work and it's a bad situation all around for everyone involved.
I think recently, in the last few years, for the first time in my life, I finally have gotten to a point where I can honestly say I feel very happy and blessed and excited about my life and who I am as myself. I feel
good and I feel free. I don't feel lonely - I love and appreciate my friends and the other connections I make and the exploring that I do. And I've gotten really practical and discriminate (or tried to) about my affection and how I conduct myself emotionally.
And that's exactly why I know I'm actually
ready and feel truly deserving of a wonderful relationship. I also just got out of an emotionally exhausting and consuming "dating situation" so maybe what I'm also feeling right now is relief, lol. Being single is infinitely healthier and happier and better for you than being in a relationhip and unhappy or chronically just meh. Who wants to be meh?
I don't need another person to complete me or make me better or help me accomplish my life tasks -- however, I
definitely will jump when I find the person who makes my nerve endings tingle.
The kind of relationship I ultimately want will take a lot of energy and effort and I will be glad to do it and I won't even think of it as 'energy and effort', it'll be natural and it'll be awesome. In the meantime, I live life.
And, NF's you know when you meet 'the one' or several of 'the ones'. You know the ones to keep an eye on. I know I do.
In the meantime, like LadyJaye, I try to keep open and be ready when that person arrives.
And having said all that, I definitely know what it feels like to really, almost desperately, want to be with someone and feel connection to them - to want to be loved and feel love. There are so many reasons to feel this way, and I think for me, it was always accompanied by fear that I was not deserving of it, that these things are outside my control, that I was just unlucky in love, and I really needed a lot, etc. Now, I'm more confident and comfortable in my own skin and having experienced really BAD and unfortunate love connections, I honestly just do not want to touch that again with a 10 foot pole. I value myself and my values too much.
Alright, sorry for the long lecture, I was honestly talking to myself. I totally do understand what it feels like to really want to be with someone, not even a specific person but just to want to be with someone in general.