Amargith
Hotel California
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2008
- Messages
- 14,717
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
- Enneagram
- 4dw
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
I think it all comes down again to different approaches to friendship and communication styles and if you live in a small or a big town.
As a general rule I wouldn't like someone just to come over unannounced (which doesn't happen in London anyway, everyone just lives too far away and is far too busy, so the person you are visiting will most likely not be at home anyway), text me and see if I am free and I will be happy to spend time with you. That's just the way things work here.
What I was talking about in my initial post was not communication styles anyway, it was about a friend just being plain selfish and self-absorbed, if it would have been her style to keep a friendship going by dropping in unannounced I am sure we could have found a middle ground but if the other person doesn't invest anything at all in the friendship how is it supposed to survive?
By simply remembering the last encounter you had
I remember my friends fondly because when I think back of the times I spend time with them, it floods me with the emotions I felt at that time. I have friends that I haven't seen in 10 years and speak to every 3 months maybe on msn. They know though that if I can help them, I will.
I have one ENFP friend of mine that I see every now and again. Whenever we try to meet up it takes us a month, coz we never plan and we both have busy lifes. But it doesn't matter. We know we'll get there. And when one of us has troubles, even after 2 years of almost no contact, we'll pick up the phone and help each other out. She did at the end of last year, as she adopted some kittens and needed some advice from me. I walked her through it for three months. And I in turn asked her around the same time to help me with my books of my previous business. She said she would. In april this year, I went like..oh right, the books? She went: oh sure, give it here, I'll take care of it. Meanwhile we almost hadn't seen each other in 6 months, with only two failed attempts of actually trying to see each other. Life just gets in the way .
Then, with the books thing, I had to hand them over and see her, so we had a blast going shopping, torturing her INTJ boyfriend and having conversations of 6 hours straight, way past midnight and our bedtime. But it was fun
Now, the books have been taken care of, I just have to go pick em up, though I don't see that happening any time soon. I know she's busy (she's a teacher), so I leave her alone, and I know I'll see or hear her again in the not so nearby future. When though, is always the question and not important