You guys have chosen to marry each other, so you've been willing to commit and you want to make things work. You also love each other. You also can recognize the things about your wife that you appreciate. Out of the two types, I think it is more often the Ns that get frustrated at incompatability, so right now it's looking like you've got some good starting points to begin from. 8 years is usually about the time that people are taking account and realizing who it is that they actually married and beginning to tally up what issues keep coming up over and over. Personal maturity and the willingness to flex for the other person are the biggest factors in compatability, even more than basic type. MBTI is useful for you to be aware of your different perspectives as a shortcut, but really shouldn't have to be an predictor of doom!
So now...My guess is that your wife needs you to verbalize more of what is going on internally (that was a very big divide between me and my ESTJ boyfriend). She just needs enough information to work with so she knows where she's at...She also probably would like to hear appreciation for the great things you do see about her verbalized more than once, even if to you it seems redundant and seems to call into question your sincerity in saying it the first time...Also if you are like many NTPs you probably have many projects on the go at once and you shift between all of them. She might like to see you finish one of them. SJs are very service oriented and one of the best ways to make your love for her felt is to do something for her that she's been wanting you to finish.
Another thing I found in the F/T divide was that Ts tend to either 1) suck things up that bother them mildly, believing it is their own problem and not bring them up unless provoked 2) for big things, change the situation so it is no longer an issue. Fs tend to 1) suck things up hoping that the other person will notice what adjustments they are making for them and reciprocate 2) bring up the problems hoping to have discussion and come to a solution that works for both. Ts feel this is redundant, needless, oversensitive and nitpicking. Fs feel Ts behaviour is inflexible, it blindsides them by not verbalizing things till it is too late to fix them, and it saves up ammunition for when provoked but normally would say that those annoyances aren't a big deal. Emotions affect Ts interactions and physical responses, but they are often unaware of how unless they choose to focus on what those emotions even are.
Also on the F/T thing - you tend to need to process stressful situations alone, whereas we tend to seek out a sympathetic listener to clear away emotional excess before we can take action. Don't rush her through that stage by offering solutions before she's done venting. You really are doing something effective just by being willing to listen and act comforting. She also may feel bad that you don't turn to her when you are going through something or that you aren't verbalizing what's going on with you and will become a little clingy which may get annoying. Just let her know as much as you comfortably can and explain that she is actually doing something great by giving you some cave time to get it figured out. It will make it much easier for her to give you space without checking that things between you are okay.
For the P/J thing - you may have to state your wishes or needs more directly than you are used to doing, rather than wishing she'd pick up on what you want. She may appreciate you gathering up all of your bills and papers so that she can do the chequebook/billpaying/credit card thing more easily. Surprise her now and then by taking responsibility for getting some job or errand done that usually falls to her because she cares about it more. If there's a certain way she wants something done, try to find out what it is and surprise her by paying attention to doing it that way. Make definite plans together sometime for a date and stick with the plan.
These are all gross generalizations, but are some of my guesses for where you could start. Do you have any other information that you think you would feel okay about sharing here?