Night
Boring old fossil
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2007
- Messages
- 4,755
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 5/8
So, in the spirit of encouraging fresh perspective on a difficult issue for me, I'd like to share a personal story.
My problem deals with my younger brother, Adam. He's 24, lives on his own and struggles with alcoholism. He's been in and out of rehab for most of his adult life (at least 7 different clinics, by my best count), is currently unemployed and is unwilling to seek further treatment for his disorder. What's more, his employment options remain consistently limited, as he does not have a college degree (he's made the attempt several times, only to have his addiction destroy his ability to consistently commit to an academic schedule). As a result of this pattern, he finds himself perpetually in debt, unable to establish himself romantically and often at heated odds with the rest of my family.
My response to his behavior has been, as you might imagine, varied over the years. For a time, I was financially supporting him (while he was in college, and again when he tried to regain an occupational foothold after his latest rehab effort), only to realize he was using my support to buy alcohol. I've tried hardlining him into a corner where I withhold emotional support/physical contact. I've tried enacting support systems with my family/his friends to make him realize better his opportunities at a better life. Everything always returns to him rubberbanding into his addictive ways.
I'm stuck.
My primary goal in publishing this is to get outside critique, in an effort to reevaluate my role in his life.
Presently, I've worked myself into a logical corner where I have a hard time justifying intervention due to his chronic disinterest in receiving help, alongside my sense of personal responsibility to do everything I can to help him overcome a problem that might be beyond his capacity to handle.
Any and all thoughts are welcome. This is a real issue for me, and I'm interested to hear outside analysis.
My problem deals with my younger brother, Adam. He's 24, lives on his own and struggles with alcoholism. He's been in and out of rehab for most of his adult life (at least 7 different clinics, by my best count), is currently unemployed and is unwilling to seek further treatment for his disorder. What's more, his employment options remain consistently limited, as he does not have a college degree (he's made the attempt several times, only to have his addiction destroy his ability to consistently commit to an academic schedule). As a result of this pattern, he finds himself perpetually in debt, unable to establish himself romantically and often at heated odds with the rest of my family.
My response to his behavior has been, as you might imagine, varied over the years. For a time, I was financially supporting him (while he was in college, and again when he tried to regain an occupational foothold after his latest rehab effort), only to realize he was using my support to buy alcohol. I've tried hardlining him into a corner where I withhold emotional support/physical contact. I've tried enacting support systems with my family/his friends to make him realize better his opportunities at a better life. Everything always returns to him rubberbanding into his addictive ways.
I'm stuck.
My primary goal in publishing this is to get outside critique, in an effort to reevaluate my role in his life.
Presently, I've worked myself into a logical corner where I have a hard time justifying intervention due to his chronic disinterest in receiving help, alongside my sense of personal responsibility to do everything I can to help him overcome a problem that might be beyond his capacity to handle.
Any and all thoughts are welcome. This is a real issue for me, and I'm interested to hear outside analysis.