Girls:
how often do you get hit on? I am not talking about the drunk slutty airhead saying you look [dorky-]cute, but some seriously cool women that can look into you and tell how cool you really are inside.
Rarely. I have been told I'm intimidating and unapproachable. In the past this was probably more true than it is now, although I've grown far less attractive over that time, too.
The ones that are cool don't usually need to hit on guys because they're constantly hit on by guys. They disregard pitiful guys like me, or don't notice at all. The ones that are in demand don't need to make an effort. If they do, they're subtle enough that I am not sure whether it was a hit or just a friendly comment, so I assume it's the least, just in case. So-far, it's been correct most of the time.
They have a lot less danger in hitting, too. I was hit on quite openly and blatantly by a female coworker a while back, and I never said anything. If a guy did this with a girl, he'd probably lose his job...
Boys:
how often do you get hit on? I am not talking about the drunk frat boy saying you look [dorky-]cute, but some seriously cool guys that can look into you and tell how cool you really are inside.
More often than with girls by quite a margin, at least three-to-one. They're generally cold-hits, like EXXP girls like to do (they're probably EXXP guys, in fact), so I shoot them down or disregard them in roughly the same manner. However, it's a little more difficult with guys you know better and that actually do know "how cool you really are inside", since they're so much more direct than straight girls, which rules out the ambiguity defense I use with them. In this case, I try to redirect the conversation or give them the "you know I don't swing that way" line. They usually have a pretty smooth comeback, though.
Girls:
Do they really just not approach, or do you push them away after they do?
Generally, they don't approach. Again, I've been told that I'm quite intimidating. I had a standing decision not to push them away starting in my mid-teens, but gave up on that around 23, since the only two that clearly approached and made an effort were bad news. Still, I usually don't push them away unless they're clearly drunken slutty airheads, but most are too timid to come out and say something unless they fit into that category.
Boys:
Do they really just not approach, or do you push them away after they do?
Due to my perspective, it's not very easy to answer this. Men operate among themselves in a completely different manner, resulting in subtle hits being mostly joking or easily disregarded. Most of the time I only deal with men, which skews this even further, because I could be hit on very often and never realize it.
In spite of this, I like to mess with my most homophobic coworker, who believes I might be homosexual. I hugged him in Saudi Arabia, and now he's freakishly uncertain about me.
Girls:
Also, do you judge people too quickly and label them as idiots before they have a chance to show the real them...
It matters on the approach. I usually assume people are intelligent until they prove otherwise. The fact that most will fall far below this doesn't mean I won't give them the benefit of the doubt at first.
Boys:
Also, do you judge people too quickly and label them as idiots before they have a chance to show the real them...
They're not getting anywhere, so from the relationship perspective there is no hope to begin with. There is a double standard here, though. If you're a girl, you don't want to start out with an attempt at a relationship because if you're shot down you won't even get a shot at friendship, you're just forever dead to me. With guys, regardless of the lead-in, they can end up friends. So, if you're a girl and want to try with me, it's better to take a shot at friendship first, then move to relationship later, as you might make it back to friendship afterward (hasn't happened yet - they always go directly into the dead-to-me category (only one was a friend beforehand, though)).
One of the things that got unearthed in the female thread is a distinct blend of INTJ insecrutiy that came down to not believing they could really be loved. Does this idea have a male counterpart?
Yes. My review of myself indicates that I'm unsuitable for someone else, particularly someone I would be comfortable with. This generally places a detrimental cloud of negative expectation over it. They have to prove that they actually want me, which is probably not worth it to the vast majority of women, especially those that are good enough, since they have plenty of other (certainly better) options available.
With guys it never gets to this point, so I didn't split the answers.