It’s like, let’s say I’m angry at the (adult) kids because they’re not cleaning up after themselves. I’m angry. I acknowledge the anger. But, if I say something, it will just cause more problems “
I didnt make that mess, my sister did.†If I call them out, then I’m calling them a liar and perhaps the sister did make the mess. I didn’t see it. Would I punish the wrong person? That’s unacceptable.
I’ll go and lecture the other kids, but everyone blames someone else.
I throw my hands in the air. Let the house rot into the ground then, I don’t care.
It’s easier to bury my head in the sand and retreat to my own corner than to cause tension.
Now, let’s say I have a wound in my mouth. A canker sore or whatever. It will drive me bananas because I know it’s there. I’ll put salt on a finger and keep my finger over the wound. It burns like the dickens but I love it. It’s a “pleasant†pain. That does make me feel better.
Yet, if I accidentally picked up a bottle of salt water and swished it in my mouth, I would get close to passing out from that “unbearable†pain. No, stupid Brain. It just took me by surprise and triggered my syncope.
If I knew it was salt water ahead of time, I would have the pain pleasurable
Pain is multi-layer and very subjective.