[ISTP] How to keep an ISTP

[Gish]

How do you move a mountain? How do you catch the wind? You cannot.

 

[Amargith]

I was soo thinking the same thing

That aside, I *looooveee* that imagery..especially coz she's NFP

 

[Kingfisher]

I was soo thinking the same thing

i was thinking Donovan's 'Catch the Wind':

[YOUTUBE="BS8RZsOZ1Dw"]catch the wind[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Amargith]

Damn, and I thought my species was elusive

 

[Willfrey]

Hehe duly noted..though I seem to recall that one of you boys at some point said that the only reason you realized you loved the girl was coz she told you so

Note: I am *not* hunting some poor ISTP. This is purely hypothetical

I don't think it would have been as big of deal if it were true. At the time she thought she was exerting some magical power that drew me to her. I guess being the quiet type leads people to believe there is chemistry or something when you are more open than usual. I felt comfortable, but when she got it in her head that I was infatuated (or something) with her she really started acting stupid and it drove me away. She can power-trip by herself, bye!

 

[sLiPpY]

I don't think it would have been as big of deal if it were true. At the time she thought she was exerting some magical power that drew me to her. I guess being the quiet type leads people to believe there is chemistry or something when you are more open than usual. I felt comfortable, but when she got it in her head that I was infatuated (or something) with her she really started acting stupid and it drove me away. She can power-trip by herself, bye!

I've come across something like that before. Was really friendly and talkative with a professional woman, and then a business service issue came up where I terminated the contract.

Discussion got really weird, she goes off on some tanget about how she thought we were "getting on" so well. A good relationship developing..

Nope, business is business.

Biggest turn off for me is a controlling type. The following is my natural response. :steam:

 

[jixmixfix]

Hehe duly noted..though I seem to recall that one of you boys at some point said that the only reason you realized you loved the girl was coz she told you so

Note: I am *not* hunting some poor ISTP. This is purely hypothetical

Hey keep your filthy hands to yourself that could very true, I would feel skeptical to tell a girl I love her without her telling me first that she is deeply into me or likes me alot.

 

[seamaid]

How to keep an ISTP?

Keep busy, let them usually make the first move, do interesting things by yourself, go with the flow, don't sweat the small stuff, and trust!

As an example, I've taken up partner dancing recently w/o him, and it's refreshing to see him get a little spooked that strange guys might be flirting with me, instead of me being scared that some daring girl will snatch him away. It's nice to be the one reassuring him this time. I'm not saying jealousy is a good thing, but maintaining what it was that originally attracted the ISTP to their SO in the first place (that person's fascinating independence and uniqueness) is healthy if one is playing for keeps.

 

[Amargith]

Hey keep your filthy hands to yourself that could very true, I would feel skeptical to tell a girl I love her without her telling me first that she is deeply into me or likes me alot.

Aww, relax, my INTJ did the same to me, I know what it's like. I knew I loved him, I just hadn't told him for...certain reasons..Of course, I apparently was an open book to him

My hands are very much clean...for now. How about helping me change that?

How to keep an ISTP?

Keep busy, let them usually make the first move, do interesting things by yourself, go with the flow, don't sweat the small stuff, and trust!

As an example, I've taken up partner dancing recently w/o him, and it's refreshing to see him get a little spooked that strange guys might be flirting with me, instead of me being scared that some daring girl will snatch him away. It's nice to be the one reassuring him this time. I'm not saying jealousy is a good thing, but maintaining what it was that originally attracted the ISTP to their SO in the first place (that person's fascinating independence and uniqueness) is healthy if one is playing for keeps.

LOL, ok that's not just true for ISTPS, that's true for NTJs as wel, and possibly, men in general, I feel! And you're right, it's good to have them be reminded of the fact that you *are* not to be taken for granted, coz someone else might snatch you up. Works brilliantly vice versa as well btw

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

How to keep an ISTP?

Keep busy, let them usually make the first move, do interesting things by yourself, go with the flow, don't sweat the small stuff, and trust!

As an example, I've taken up partner dancing recently w/o him, and it's refreshing to see him get a little spooked that strange guys might be flirting with me, instead of me being scared that some daring girl will snatch him away. It's nice to be the one reassuring him this time. I'm not saying jealousy is a good thing, but maintaining what it was that originally attracted the ISTP to their SO in the first place (that person's fascinating independence and uniqueness) is healthy if one is playing for keeps.

Good post!

 

[Poki]

I don't think it would have been as big of deal if it were true. At the time she thought she was exerting some magical power that drew me to her. I guess being the quiet type leads people to believe there is chemistry or something when you are more open than usual. I felt comfortable, but when she got it in her head that I was infatuated (or something) with her she really started acting stupid and it drove me away. She can power-trip by herself, bye!

Dude, get over yourself, It was me, I drive feelings in people they themselves dont understand


The question about what a leash is. Its like a mental claustrophobia. Dont hold me back from what I want or internally I feel like a guy in a straight jacket struggling to get free.

Give me everything I want while I am in a straight jacket and I will still fight. I am happier if I am free and you give me nothing. I will go after what I want, make me want you


To explain the fear, I watched an episode of 911 when I was younger where a guy was burried alive. The thought of dying isnt what bothered me, it was the thought of the struggle in being trapped. That is one of the only fears that has haunted me ever.

 

[seamaid]

poki
The question about what a leash is. Its like a mental claustrophobia. Dont hold me back from what I want or internally I feel like a guy in a straight jacket struggling to get free.

Give me everything I want while I am in a straight jacket and I will still fight. I am happier if I am free and you give me nothing. I will go after what I want, make me want you

I get ya there -- as an INFP, sometimes I feel the same way as there's nothing I resist more than obligations.

But then why does any ISTP choose to get married? Isn't marriage directly opposed to this freedom you speak of?

 

[Poki]

I get ya there -- as an INFP, sometimes I feel the same way as there's nothing I resist more than obligations.

But then why does any ISTP choose to get married? Isn't marriage directly opposed to this freedom you speak of?

Because I had never seen marriage as being trapped.

 

[Rachelinpa]

But then why does any ISTP choose to get married? Isn't marriage directly opposed to this freedom you speak of?

is it because you guys value consistency?

 

[Poki]

is it because you guys value consistency?

I personally dont value consistency as consistency is stagnancy. I dont learn and grow as a person with consistency. Stagnancy in material things is not the same as stagnancy as a person. I would be happy with very little material objects if I could grow as a person.

One thing I have learned is that by helping others I am able to grow as a person, while helping someone else. I personally gain alot from being self-sacrificing.

Like my example of being king of a jungle vs a castle. I dont need the material things required for a castle, the furniture, the decorations, the maids, the butlers, the people waiting on you hand and feet. I want to do something with my hands, with my brain, to grow as a person.

edit: actually I would like a maid and butler so I can grow and not have to worry about the consistant boring stuff.

 

[Amargith]

Are ISTPs consistent in what they want?

What I mean is, once they decide that they like/want something..do they ever grow tired of it, bored, when it is no longer new? Or will something consistently draw them near if they had one good experience with it, say for instance, go to a themepark. Do you want a new themepark every time or is the same themepark that you loved the first time always exciting coz it offers that same buzz over and over again?

 

[miss fortune]

mine seems to appreciate the fact that I can amuse myself perfectly competently and don't really give a fuck if he wants to spend a few hours improving the wiring setup of the sound system or wishes to play the same videogame again, and has actually verbally expressed that

along with the fact that I'm pleased with what I have and feel no driving need to change him, provided he lets me do whatever I want

 

[Poki]

Are ISTPs consistent in what they want?

What I mean is, once they decide that they like/want something..do they ever grow tired of it, bored, when it is no longer new? Or will something consistently draw them near if they had one good experience with it, say for instance, go to a themepark. Do you want a new themepark every time or is the same themepark that you loved the first time always exciting coz it offers that same buzz over and over again?

Why are you so amazed and interested with ISTP? Just curious.

I am consistant with people, but not so much with things. I like the same people to be around me, the ones who make it enjoyable. I do get bored with things though, I dont go to theme parks enough to get bored of them. Its more of the things that you do over and over with no way to improve, get better.

With things like food, I can go for weeks eating similiar things, but I do tire and need change, then I may go back later to the same food.

I guess I would say I can do consistancy for awhile, but then I do need change. I am not someone who can eat the same cereal every morning.

On the flip side I am not good with figuring out what new to try, so left on my own accord I end up sticking with what I know.

 

[Poki]

mine seems to appreciate the fact that I can amuse myself perfectly competently and don't really give a fuck if he wants to spend a few hours improving the wiring setup of the sound system or wishes to play the same videogame again, and has actually verbally expressed that

along with the fact that I'm pleased with what I have and feel no driving need to change him, provided he lets me do whatever I want

This is a wonderful thing to watch. Someone doing something they like and being amused. Something about someone amusing themselves.

Do something to get us to laugh at you

 

[Amargith]

Hehe...coz I like knowing how people work. Coz you guys are an enigma to me as we're sooo different in the way we look upon the world and yet somehow seem to click and share a lot still too. I like figuring out how people work, what makes them tick, how they view the world and what motivates them, what their boundaries and significant differences compared to me are. And normally, I'd do this with people one on one, but I've found that when I talk to ISTPS one on one, I get too into this (as I can go for hours on this), and it's not what they necessarily wanna be talking about (and I hate being pushy). On here, I know you'll be in that mindset as..well, it's a thread about what ISTPs are like, and if you don't want to reply, you have the freedom to walk away and not post at all

That said, I appreciate your patience with me