[ENFP] Hate an ENFP? Tell us why!

[substitute]

findthejake, you are a masochist, because we HATE to be hated! Isn't that true? Isn't it a source of pride that with the few people we truly don't like, we can usually get them to like us on some level? It's a real weakness in the type.......

Yes, my ENFP brother will quite happily cut a long-term friend dead because he feels he hasn't made enough effort to keep in touch, but when another old friend of his decided he'd outgrown or grown apart from my brother and their gang and wanted to move on with his life, my brother couldn't handle it and feels extremely stung by it. He won't just let it go or accept that anyone on earth might possibly just not want to hang out with him any more.

 

[brazz]

I feel like I do the overcompensation as well. I live 15 minutes away from work, but I allot an hour for me to shower and get dressed and half an hour to actually GET there. If I don't sit down and check my email after getting dressed, I get to work at 4:15 for a 5 PM shift. All my coworkers think I'm so organized because I have my planner and always know what I'm doing, but I'm the most disorganized person around!

My car needs to start SMELLING before I'll clean it!

 

[targobelle]

um an easy way to remember things is a portable phone and a dry erase marker.... I leave myself notes on my bathroom mirror

 

[findthejake]

i got myself a samsung blackjack and use the calendar on there like nobody's business. I can usually remember meetings and whatnot that are important to me but I like to try to be on top of it anyway else it'll slip my mind.

 

[targobelle]

what I find the worse is I am naturally scatterbrained and aloof and like you Jake if it doesn't interest me I tend to forget. It's difficult to keep it together, add to that 3 children and one I am certain is a J and well it gets a bit high strung around my house

 

[Tigerlily]

what I find the worse is I am naturally scatterbrained and aloof and like you Jake if it doesn't interest me I tend to forget. It's difficult to keep it together, add to that 3 children and one I am certain is a J and well it gets a bit high strung around my house

And here all this time I thought I was the only scatterbrained, aloof, forgetful Mom of three kids. Throw in some "J", and a dash of ADD and viola! Here I am! :hi:

For you targo Hope you have a good one!

 

[findthejake]

Anyone else have reason to despise us?

 

[targobelle]

And here all this time I thought I was the only scatterbrained, aloof, forgetful Mom of three kids. Throw in some "J", and a dash of ADD and viola! Here I am! :hi:

For you targo Hope you have a good one!

thanks

but as you can see I have very lil J in me I do however own a J he's 6 and very impatient. His only haven is his bed. Last night when the kids went to bed he started crying b/c they (all 3 of them) were playing up there and they messed it up (1 & 3 not him of course ) Anyway he was quite distraught. I have no idea just how he manages in my chaos but he loves me and we're very close so I suppose that helps.

 

[Sandy]

OMGoodness! I nearly choked reading this!

...everything had its place in my house, but i dont know where

OMG!!! This sounds like me!

(btw, I don't know any ENFPs personally, however I have some ideas now that I have read many of the responses here!)

 

[headhurts]

Don't hate you guys, far from it, but you may very well be the biggest shit-stirrers I've ever encountered in my life.

Tis amusing...

 

[headhurts]

Oh, and another thing I thought of... you guys are pretty open-minded and non-judgemental, which i love, but once you've decided what a person is like, you tend to treat them like they belong to that category from thereon in without exception.

 

[brazz]

Yesterday, my boss told me that I have the best personality for a hostessing/service job. Anyone else feel like ENFPs are the perfect servers/hostesses/concierges/restaurant managers/etc.?

I feel like it might be our ability to adapt to the people we're interacting with. I'm definitely a much more jokey, flirty person at work with my coworkers and always curteous to guests and whatnot.

I always feel most happy at work.

EDIT:

Oh, I also did this volunteer thing, and the lady who was in charge of me was talking to another who I was helping out. Anne (the coordinator) told Sam (who I was helping) that I was an excellent junior (youth volunteer) and that she knew that within five minutes of knowing me. And I thought to myself... is that how long it takes for me to understand the type of person I need to be for the group I'm in to like me?

That sentence sounds confusing.

 

[niffer]

When I was travelling in Europe on tour..and I was in the bus with some kids around my age (that is 12-20)...after a while of talking I started dominating the conversation. There was a break in the talking, and suddenly someone said, "Y'know, there's something about you." (referring to me..and at that point everyone was just watching me and I just sat there while they analyzed me)

"Yeah. It's like...you're...JENNIFER!"
"You don't really act like you're 13..."
"Yeah...you don't really talk like an idiot like Jasmine [their 12yrold sister on board] does all the time.."
"Uh huh. You're very articulate..for a 13 year old."
"I dunno...there's just something about her.."

At this point I start to freak out a little from being analyzed, and make an overwhelmed-looking face. And then one of them said, "Well, see, now you look like a 13 year old again, haha."

o_o
I was able to connect really well with those people...that little incident in the tour bus was kind of interesting though. (Btw this was after an evening cruise down the Seine river!!! )

 

[Metamorphosis]

Yesterday, my boss told me that I have the best personality for a hostessing/service job. Anyone else feel like ENFPs are the perfect servers/hostesses/concierges/restaurant managers/etc.?

I feel like it might be our ability to adapt to the people we're interacting with. I'm definitely a much more jokey, flirty person at work with my coworkers and always curteous to guests and whatnot.

I always feel most happy at work.

I've worked as a server at multiple different restraunts over the past three years and invariably I have come across some ENFP's. To the customers, I'm sure they are much more liked than I am. I think the only problem that arises sometimes is when they let the customers get to them too much. Sometimes people don't treat servers like people (I know because I do it sometimes and I'm a server) and this can get to them. Being treated unfairly/rudely can upset them for the rest of the shift and it seems like they can take minor comments/actions as rejection of a sorts. I guess a hostess wouldn't have as much trouble with that, though, obviously.

Difficult to explain...but I'm sure it all comes down to the individual anyways. Don't take this the wrong way though, I love working with ENFPs. They make it bearable.

 

[arcticangel02]

Actually, yeah. I notice that. If someone's rude to me (or inconsiderate in a way that I can't immediately brush off as ignorance/stupidity on their behalf - and sometimes even then), it puts me out of joint for a few hours.

 

[niffer]

That happens to me too. Thing is, I just keep it in. I know it's not meant to be taken personally, but still. It just...is able to get in.

 

[brazz]

Oh, I completely know what you mean. I hate it when servers are treated as less than people. I love having conversations with them. And when I'm hostessing, I always try and make it semi-personal with the guest. Usually people like that. If they tell me their name is Richardson, I ask "How are you doing today Mr. Richardson?" and etcetera. But when people turn around and treat me rudely (like pretending I'm not there and saying the service was horrible) I take it very personally.

Then again, I just love my job and take everything personally. If someone leaves genuinely disappointed, I feel disappointed in myself and my coworkers.

 

[Scruffy1123]

You know it's funny - my sister is an ENFP, and also waitressed for a long time. She was great at it. It's not what the topic is about, but she's definitely absolutely awesome! It's the personality that balances a lot of my shortcomings and makes me feel accepted and valued. My favorite roomate was also ENFP.

 

[Mempy]

OP: Just curious if anyone out there has anything against enfp's

No, no, no! *covers all her darling ENFPs' ears*

No, I love ENFPs! They can become emotionally frazzled and anxious just like the rest of us, but I relate to them well and enjoy their exciting and endearing mannerisms, jokes and thoughts. They're so fascinating and poetic, with so many dimensions. They're usually profoundly poetic and use the most bang-on, unique phrasings when they write. They often have a fascinating vigor for life, and a biting (I mean, OW!) wit too (when you piss them off or snub them). Actually, I'm thinking of one ENFP friend in particular when I write all this, so it probably doesn't apply to all ENFPs. But I love her, and I LVE you guys. *group hug*

Then again, I just love my job and take everything personally. If someone leaves genuinely disappointed, I feel disappointed in myself and my coworkers.

Awww. You sound like a great waitress. The picture that came to mind when I read about how you love your job was of a pretty, smiling, awesome waitress I had at Hooters once (yes, Hooters! they have pretty good food there). She was an AWESOME waitress and I'm sure you are too.

I'm INFP, and I was a waitress for what seemed like months, but it was really only one month. I liked it in the sense that it was never boring when you had customers, but I hated it in the sense that it took so much quick-thinking and was nothing but rushing, rushing, rushing. I never made quite as much as the other waitresses, so that was always a source of inadequacy and chagrin. But my ENFJ friend is now working at the same place I did and she says she loves it.

 

[findthejake]

I hate how enfp's take everything to heart. Everyone in the world can love them and then when one person doesn't they do everything they can to change that, almost destroying themselves in the process. It's not healthy!

Luckily they're split personality comes and has a conversation that goes like this...
Self 1: Dude what's wrong?
Self 2: I've been ignored for two weeks man, i feel like shit. I understand now why people consider suicide an alternative...
Self 1: Seriously? Come off it! Stop being a lil whiny ass. You're the coolest kid you know man!
Self 2: Then why is she ignoring me?
Self 1: Cause she needs a shrink and is scared and whatnot. Not your problem man. Buck up.
Self 2: Wait what? I'm cool?
Self 1: Hell yes! You're cool and funny and people love you.
Self 2: Ah yeah they do! I totally forgot... man I missed me...
Self 1: I missed you too man.

Of course this was all hypothetical and um I in no way experienced this this week....um... I uh saw a friend, yeah! A friend go through it.... :whistles: