[NF] Why NFs pity themselves so much ?

[Athenian200]

Sitatuion: Bank robber fires 7 shots into the cop but the doctors managed to save him somehow. But most organs and limbs have suffered heavy injuries.

EF female: This is so terribe and so wrong. The worst thing is that he will never be healthy and complete again. Imagine how will this effect his entire family for the rest of his life and it will always remember them on this day.
Maybe it would have been batter that he died. I mean he is too young for this. (falls into a depression)


Me: I truly don't see the problem. Doctors managed to save him and he lives for now. If it turns out that he can't live like this he can always commit suicide. In the case that it gets that bad.
Problem solved.

I would probably say something like: "Well, the bright side is that he survived. Not many people could survive something like that. He might have to take it a little easier now, but he could still have a fulfilling life."

 

[heart]

I know you can't. Long ago I have made peace with the fact that I will never understand emotions of others completely. (if that is even possible)
Which is because I don't relate to many traits that are typical for F.
Understanding a F from the outside actually not a problem for me. It is just that it is likely that I will disagree. But understanding them for within is another story.

Does this work the other way around as well ?

No. I can understand someone using thought alone to make decisions. Probably because there are many decisions in life where I use thought to make the decision because it's something math related etc.

I also don't have the snideness about thinking that some thinkers have about feeling.

 

[FemMecha]

There are a couple things to take note of in this topic:

1. When there is an expectation to find certain kinds of posts from a certain type, it can be proven through confirmation bias. This can be an issue if even occurring to a modest degree.

2. When NF is stereotyped as fostering pity, then people of any type will gravitate towards those forums when that is what they are seeking to express.

3. There is also a problem when any mention of emotion is assumed to be there to evoke pity. Sometimes it is more about taking the bull by the horns taking the negativity on directly rather than sweeping it under the rug, or worse going into a passive aggressive mode that pretends to be objective.

 

[heart]

3. There is also a problem when any mention of emotion is assumed to be there to evoke pity. Sometimes it is more about taking the bull by the horns taking the negativity on directly rather than sweeping it under the rug, or worse going into a passive aggressive mode that pretends to be objective.

Excellent point.

Views may be distorted due to incorrect assumptions of the motives of the posters.

Originally Posted by Antisocial one
Sitatuion: Bank robber fires 7 shots into the cop but the doctors managed to save him somehow. But most organs and limbs have suffered heavy injuries.

EF female: This is so terribe and so wrong. The worst thing is that he will never be healthy and complete again. Imagine how will this effect his entire family for the rest of his life and it will always remember them on this day.
Maybe it would have been batter that he died. I mean he is too young for this. (falls into a depression)


Me: I truly don't see the problem. Doctors managed to save him and he lives for now. If it turns out that he can't live like this he can always commit suicide. In the case that it gets that bad.
Problem solved.

I see it in the middle here. It would not have been better if he died, unless he is in extreme agony due to the organ destruction. But it also isn't a happy-fun-time situation either and it is awful that he suffered this fate. Hearing about it doesn't *plunge* me into a personal depression unless I love this person personally. When it is a stranger, it's just a twinge of feeling.

 

[FemMecha]

In NT forum there are similar posts but there is a smaller amount of them and I would dare to say that conversations are more constructive.

Maybe it would be worth actually counting the number of thread devoted to expressions of personal pain in blogs and rants, etc. on each of the forums and find out how the percentages line up. My impressions are quite different from yours, but it would be interesting to see. There are quite a few forums out there now representing a variety of types, so it might actually shed some light on what you are saying. Right now all the responses in this thread are based solely on your impression of how these compare. That is a potentially biased starting point.

Views may be distorted due to incorrect assumptions of the motives of the posters.

And if the reasoning behind an action is not understood, it is likely the motivation is not understood.

 

[Virtual ghost]

It's hard for me to believe this. The reason I say this because it'd just make total sense to me that if somebody is aware of another person, they'd understand that they think differently and therefore can easily just imagine how the other person would be. (It doesn't even have to be on an emotional level, it can be on an intellectual level. It's just basically understanding another persons perspective.)

While it doesn't make total sense to you. It's not like you don't grasp that there are feelers in the world, and that they operate on a different system. You don't exactly claim that your thinking is the only method, therefore it seems unlikely that you will be purely unempathetic. That seems more of someone that doesn't have understanding or is ignorant.



Then you confuse me as to why you do this >_<!

Was that just to shock the person? Are you seriously telling me that you can't understand the emotional implications that a person may have, even if you don't experience it yourself? How the past can't affects the present and the future? [This is retarded: I'm going against my earlier arguement that non-depressed people aren't really going to understand what it means to be depressed. But even then one can have a rough idea.]

I'm more likely to believe that you simply decided to reject consideration of the emotional aspect of the problem.

1.Well there is difference between seeing yourself doing it and doing it for real. But I know myself well enough to think that my inner conclusion would be similar to the blunt comment.


2.Yes, I did that just to shock the person.
Just for the record "EF female" in that story is my grandmother.

No. I can understand someone using thought alone to make decisions. Probably because there are many decisions in life where I use thought to make the decision because it's something math related etc.

I also don't have the snideness about thinking that some thinkers have about feeling.

I don't know if you come across one my post in the thread. Which says that I can understand feeler on the outside since most emotions expressed externaly are actually quite logical. But what I don't understand is the inner world and I don't understand to some degree why you have approach you do when things get "serious".

 

[Virtual ghost]

One question.

Do you ever feel a "duty" to make Ts around to feel something in that moment?


If some SFs want to answer this question they are free to do so.

 

[lost verses]

Do you ever feel a "duty" to make Ts around to feel something in that moment?

No. Most of the time I figure why bother with someone who doesn't see the beauty in depth of feeling. Plus, most steadfastly will refuse to give in to emotion if someone else wants them to feel something...they'll only feel/show that they feel something if they decide on their own accord that they want to. There's no point trying to convince them because it won't do any good.

 

[Snow Turtle]

One question.

Do you ever feel a "duty" to make Ts around to feel something in that moment?


If some SFs want to answer this question they are free to do so.

I'm only responsible for my own feeling. Other people are free to feel whatever they want, or the lack of feeling. I'll point it out but it's up for others to do what they want.

 

[BerberElla]

One question.

Do you ever feel a "duty" to make Ts around to feel something in that moment?


If some SFs want to answer this question they are free to do so.

Before I found out about MBTI, I did, now I don't because I don't expect it and I understand it better.

I was just baffled before.

 

[SpottingTrains]

One question.

Do you ever feel a "duty" to make Ts around to feel something in that moment?


If some SFs want to answer this question they are free to do so.

Everyone understands situations differently. The feeling that Ts receive is still an emotion even if it is indifference or pity. Saying that they are devoid of feeling doesn't really do the T types justice in my opinion. Even though some my try there best to push this out of their lives I suspect.

So to answer your question...No , they already do.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Everyone understands situations differently. The feeling that Ts receive is still an emotion even if it is indifference or pity. Saying that they are devoid of feeling doesn't really do the T types justice in my opinion. Even though some my try there best to push this out of their lives I suspect.

So to answer your question...No , they already do.

You are right.


But I was asking about displays of Fe.
To be specific.

 

[prplchknz]

One question.

Do you ever feel a "duty" to make Ts around to feel something in that moment?


If some SFs want to answer this question they are free to do so.

no fuck the Ts if someone doesn't want to feel something, why should I care? PS that wasn't passive agressive, i mean why should I care? I shouldn't my life isn't going to be affected by their emotional state. or lack there of, which I'd rather be around someone who didn't have many emotions then someone who has too many.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

One question.

Do you ever feel a "duty" to make Ts around to feel something in that moment?

No. I don't like to "make" anyone do anything because I don't appreciate it when someone tries to force me to do something, overtly or covertly. Like when someone says "Smile!" or "Cheer up!"...No.

 

[SpottingTrains]

You are right.


But I was asking about displays of Fe.
To be specific.

In that case no. I already know that they are feeling something , whether they wish to show it or not is their call. I don't feel the need to push them to divulge whatever they are experiencing but I will remain open.

 

[Laurie]

Everytime someone tries to post on these boards about "no emotions" or "logic" I almost believe it. Until I spend time thinking about real people. No one I know in real life fits these "only make choices logically" things. That isn't even logical.

Probably the closest to "non emotional looking like he has some emotional problems" would be my brother (ISTP), and I've even seen him react in a feeling way.

I think NF's can take things personally and end up pitying themselves because of it. I do know INFP's who get that way and I do want to hit them with a 2x4. They also can have a depth of caring other people don't.

I really don't get the OP. Always the same questions phrased in different ways. Doesn't seem very logical to me.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Everytime someone tries to post on these boards about "no emotions" or "logic" I almost believe it. Until I spend time thinking about real people. No one I know in real life fits these "only make choices logically" things. That isn't even logical.

Probably the closest to "non emotional looking like he has some emotional problems" would be my brother (ISTP), and I've even seen him react in a feeling way.

I think NF's can take things personally and end up pitying themselves because of it. I do know INFP's who get that way and I do want to hit them with a 2x4. They also can have a depth of caring other people don't.

I think you are overlooking one detail.

People who tend to make logical conclusions in a large percetage are often very unsocial as well. So your chances to come across one of them are not too big. Plus once you actually find him/her they will mask themselves to better fit in socialy (since that is logical in most cases)

 

[Quinlan]

I think we're too quick to slap "negative" and "positive" labels on things that are pretty subjective and situational.

 

[Athenian200]

I think you are overlooking one detail.

People who tend to make logical conclusions in a large percetage are often very unsocial as well. So your chances to come across one of them are not too big. Plus once you actually find him/her they will mask themselves to better fit in socialy (since that is logical in most cases)

Actually, that's not true.

It's often more logical to be social, so that you can build connections to people that you can use as resources to accomplish logical goals. In other words, because of the way society is set up, it's actually very logical to use people/socializing as a means to an end.

Also, I'm rather unsocial myself, and certainly not logical. I spend most of my time indoors on the computer. When I do go outside, I usually try to hurry between one point and the next, maybe burying my face in a book or something so no one tries to interact with me. I do it because I'm afraid of people and don't trust them.

In other words, I don't see any connection between being logical, and being unsocial. If you think there is, you're assuming a world with I_T_s and E_F_s, and neglecting I_F_s and E_T_s.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Actually, that's not true.

It's often more logical to be social, so that you can build connections to people that you can use as resources to accomplish logical goals. In other words, because of the way society is set up, it's actually very logical to use people/socializing as a means to an end.

Also, I'm rather unsocial myself, and certainly not logical. I spend most of my time indoors on the computer. When I do go outside, I usually try to hurry between one point and the next, maybe burying my face in a book or something so no one tries to interact with me. I do it because I'm afraid of people and don't trust them.

In other words, I don't see any connection between being logical, and being unsocial. If you think there is, you're assuming a world with I_T_s and E_F_s, and neglecting I_F_s and E_T_s.

Well, when I said unsocial I wasn't saying 100% unsocial.

For exmple: the category of people known as scientist.
Most of them are quite unsocial. Since they are INTs by a large degree.
Most scientific carrers by definition don't allow you to be too social.

But the ability of those people to make logical conclusions is above average.


I have always looked at extroversion as a copy/paste mechanism.
I understand that things are not that much black and white but my thinking goes in this direction.


Modern science is extremly complex and if you don't invest decades in education you can't be on the "frontline".


Only if you distance youself enough you will see that many things that are promoted as logical are not that much logical.


If we presume that there is right and wrong.