[ENTP] INFP/ENTP?

[marmandahalf]

Could this combination possibly work?

 

[Jeremy]

Why wouldn't it?

Haha, I just noticed the irony.

 

[BlackCat]

With the right ENTP... Yes. However for me this "right" ENTP is very VERY rare. Most of the ENTPs I meet I'm either intimidated by or repulsed by, but then there are those rare few that I really enjoy.

But for the most part absolutely not. I've only met a few ENTPs that I would EVER consider, out of a lot IRL and online.

 

[jenocyde]

why intimidated?

 

[Cenomite]

Two of my good friends are INFP. There are some conflicts though

 

[BlackCat]

why intimidated?

It seems like when I'm around a lot of ENTPs I get this feeling of "I'm better than you", or that they seem smarter and want to tell me all about it. I've also experienced mood manipulation (which is a huge no for me, and adds to the intimidation factor). I usually feel unclear, since the communication is open to interpretation, and as far as I know that's how you guys roll (seeing how someone interprets something to determine how they are), and it's awkward having to decide whether someone is serious or just playing about something seemingly serious. For some reason I feel very exposed.

Maybe this will make sense. In socionics INFPs are INFjs, and ENTPs stay ENTps. This is the relationship it suggests, it all makes sense to me. With the ENTp being the supervisor: Relations of Supervision between psychological ("personality") types

Take that with a grain of salt, but that seems to be how I feel about the situation. Basically inferior.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Well, I am an INFP with an ENTP dad...
My ENTP dad can come off as quite arrogant (er, confident) and unimpressed by everything (except himself). That attitude can be intimidating.

Lack of humility is a big turn-off for me, because I value humility a lot. I'm also wary of anyone who writes off feelings as "dramatic" as my father does. He doesn't take anything seriously...life is a joke. I take everything way too seriously (I imagine anyway, haha). I'm very quiet, and my dad also seems annoyed by anyone he cannot grasp quickly, as he usually sums people up without much trouble. For the past 25 years, he's failed to do so with me.

I admire my dad in many ways, but I could not become close to someone like that unless they decided to put themselves aside for a moment and make the effort to get to know me & value my perspective. Otherwise, I'm just this blank person in their shadow.

I don't know if that's just him though (probably). I can't think of anyone else I really know well enough to type as ENTP.

 

[Synarch]

Could work, but will be a pain in the ass. Too much drama.

Well, I am an INFP with an ENTP dad...
My ENTP dad can come off as quite arrogant (er, confident) and unimpressed by everything (except himself). That attitude can be intimidating.

Lack of humility is a big turn-off for me, because I value humility a lot. I'm also wary of anyone who writes off feelings as "dramatic" as my father does. He doesn't take anything seriously...life is a joke. I take everything way too seriously (I imagine anyway, haha). I'm very quiet, and my dad also seems annoyed by anyone he cannot grasp quickly, as he usually sums people up without much trouble. For the past 25 years, he's failed to do so with me.

I admire my dad in many ways, but I could not become close to someone like that unless they decided to put themselves aside for a moment and make the effort to get to know me & value my perspective. Otherwise, I'm just this blank person in their shadow.

I don't know if that's just him though (probably). I can't think of anyone else I really know well enough to type as ENTP.

See? Drama.

 

[Udog]

Forgive my long response, but I've been pondering the same thing recently, so you are about to get a mind dump.

Comments from ENTPs on this is welcome. I haven't really crystallized my thoughts yet.

Of all the theoretical type matchups for INFP the ENTP is the one that mystifies me the most. Meaning, I can't go into my head and predict how things will likely play out. Let's start off with the negative:

The main issue is the Fe relief function of the ENTP and how it can square off against the Dom Fi of an INFP. ENTPs poke and prod against the INFPs value system, trying to better understand it. I suspect this usually stems from a genuine curiosity in Fi. It's foreign, they want to know more, and INFPs are annoyingly persistent in keeping it hidden. That may interest ENTPs, because while we might not linearly create our values, INFPs have put ALOT of thought into them and usually have some pretty interesting reasons why we believe what we do. It creates a deep rooted line of reasoning that the ENTP isn't terribly familiar with, so the ENTP is compelled to poke, prod, and try to understand how it all works. Which is where the problem lies.

INFPs are distrustful and usually have a negative reaction to anyone forcing our values out before we are ready. We identify our values with who we are. So while we prefer to choose when to open up, ENTPs just want us to open up already. There's something about their methods that INFJs appreciate and embrace, but causes INFPs to flinch and withdraw. I don't fully understand why that is, yet.

Making things worse, some ENTPs, unable to invoke a positive reaction, will then turn negative to invoke ANY reaction. They'll amp up the asshole factor, and directly claim we don't follow the values we hold dear, just to force us to defend ourselves. Then, later, claim our reactionary anger was unwarranted... they were just passively trying to see how we react, and our reactionary anger validated whatever undisclosed theory they were trying to prove. (I've experienced or seen this a few times, this isn't an isolated incident.)

Of course, sometimes this wouldn't be an issue if the INFP wasn't so damn sensitive. Alot of tension would go away, on both sides, if the INFP could explain their values without needing to feel like they are explaining their value as a human being.

So, what happens if the INFP is willing to show that part of themselves? What happens if the ENTP respects and genuinely cares to learn more, and can appreciate how special of a gift it is when an INFP expresses that side of them? I don't know...

POSITIVE:

Humor wise, ENTPs are clever, funny bastards. They make me laugh more than any type on this forum, and even my irritating co-worker can make me laugh consistently. They are quick to bring up issues that INFPs shouldn't keep buried. INFPs that can't appreciate that will never work with an ENTP, but it can be a wonderful thing for those that do. ENTPs are closet nerds, which when combined with a more outgoing side is pretty interesting to me. I like the way Fi and Ti tainted Ne fueled humor leads to some wild conversations and outrageous tangents and jokes. It can be challenging, edgy, and sometimes slightly addicting.

Also, ENTPs make thinking fun. How can I not love that? They never lack for ideas, and enjoy playing around with them.

What the INFP can bring to the ENTP... I have to admit I haven't figured that out yet. I don't mean that in an, "I'm so insecure I don't think INFPs are worthy" sense, but in a "I haven't pin pointed what ways I make their lives better" sense.

See? Drama.

. *drops drama bomb* You know, INFJs are every bit as dramatic as INFPs. It's actually very fascinating how the subtle differences of the INFJ seem to "fit" with ENTP so much better, making their form of drama a positive bonding experience and ours a butting of heads.

 

[violaine]

^Hmm interesting. Do you think there is something to what Black Cat has said (being INFP)... that he feels intimidated by certain ENTP? Hence, perhaps that prodding can feel... disrespectful or like an assault? Or as though you have to justify your ways to the ENTP? I'm just putting things together on the fly here.

Whereas as an INFJ I don't feel intimidated at all. So, I regard their prodding and poking as well meaning but basically I don't feel obliged to explain myself or justify anything. It's odd, even when an ENTP is being 'abrupt' I just speak my mind and all is fine. And I don't feel assailed. But I am direct in a way that perhaps the INFP might not be with an ENTP? They don't seem to push the buttons that would make me upset or feel hurt. Totally making this up as I go along!

In short I don't feel like there is a power imbalance, I feel mutuality flowing between us for the most part. (Off topic but just to make it even, I can feel like there is a power imbalance with certain INTP though, for some reason. They can be kind of wounding to me.)

 

[EcK]

Maybe this will make sense. In socionics INFPs are INFjs, and ENTPs stay ENTps. This is the relationship it suggests, it all makes sense to me. With the ENTp being the supervisor: Relations of Supervision between psychological ("personality") types

wait a minute.
Isn't the entp the supervisee in the entp\infj relationship?

 

[substitute]

wait a minute.
Isn't the entp the supervisee in the entp\infj relationship?

yes you're right, I'm sure it's that way round.

But as regards ENTP and INFP, my experience says it's a match made in heaven. Go figure. :gallic shrug:

 

[thisGuy]

Well, I am an INFP with an ENTP dad...
My ENTP dad can come off as quite arrogant (er, confident) and unimpressed by everything (except himself). That attitude can be intimidating.

Lack of humility is a big turn-off for me, because I value humility a lot. I'm also wary of anyone who writes off feelings as "dramatic" as my father does. He doesn't take anything seriously...life is a joke. I take everything way too seriously (I imagine anyway, haha). I'm very quiet, and my dad also seems annoyed by anyone he cannot grasp quickly, as he usually sums people up without much trouble. For the past 25 years, he's failed to do so with me.

I admire my dad in many ways, but I could not become close to someone like that unless they decided to put themselves aside for a moment and make the effort to get to know me & value my perspective. Otherwise, I'm just this blank person in their shadow.

I don't know if that's just him though (probably). I can't think of anyone else I really know well enough to type as ENTP.

maybe you take his jokes or 'manliness' far too seriosuly?

by manliness i mean that not displaying emotions up front cuz thats what men do...i wouldnt be surprised if you read him wrong. when push comes to shove though, he'll prolly be there with you and for you

your dad probably knows he casting a shadow and probably expects you to man up and either beat him or stand up to him

thats how i see it anyway...

 

[BlackCat]

wait a minute.
Isn't the entp the supervisee in the entp\infj relationship?

INFj = INFP in MBTI. Supervisor = ENTp, Supervisee = INFj. So therefore ENTP supervises, INFP is the supervisee. INFp (INFJ in MBTI) and ENTp are Semi Duals apparently. Relations of Semi-Duality between psychological ("personality") types

Sanveane: Interesting to read it from the "ideal" partner side of things.

Udog: You dug a lot deeper... what you said has a lot of truth.

 

[Mitzy]

Could this combination possibly work?

nope, nevar.

 

[digesthisickness]

i could go for an INFP GUY, but if i were a dude (or lesbian), i'm pretty sure we'd just have sex then go our separate ways*. one of us running faster than the other.





*i always figured i'd be a giant slut if i were male.

 

[BlackCat]

i could go for an INFP GUY

It makes me feel bad to say that I don't think ENTP/INFP could work... There are some ENTP females that are awesome for me... that I'd want to start a relationship with. An ENTP that I can handle. But I just don't meet those enough.

 

[digesthisickness]

It makes me feel bad to say that I don't think ENTP/INFP could work... There are some ENTP females that are awesome for me... that I'd want to start a relationship with. An ENTP that I can handle. But I just don't meet those enough.

yeah, i ricochet that.

 

[heart]

maybe you take his jokes or 'manliness' far too seriosuly?

by manliness i mean that not displaying emotions up front cuz thats what men do...i wouldnt be surprised if you read him wrong. when push comes to shove though, he'll prolly be there with you and for you

your dad probably knows he casting a shadow and probably expects you to man up and either beat him or stand up to him

thats how i see it anyway...

Gawd, this would get so exhausting! I just can't see the two types making it work as a romance. Maybe friends with some strong boundaries up, but lovers? No, I don't think so.

 

[OrangeAppled]

maybe you take his jokes or 'manliness' far too seriosuly?

by manliness i mean that not displaying emotions up front cuz thats what men do...i wouldnt be surprised if you read him wrong. when push comes to shove though, he'll prolly be there with you and for you

your dad probably knows he casting a shadow and probably expects you to man up and either beat him or stand up to him

thats how i see it anyway...

For clarification, my observations on my dad are based on his interactions with others, because honestly, we don't interact much & he didn't raise me. We have a very surface & detached relationship.

The shadow thing was meant to describe being ignored & forgotten by my dad while he pursues his interests, not the idiomatic expression to be living in someone's shadow. That has nothing to do with what I meant...
Anyway, I know my dad is an individual & not the ENTP prototype

I have very little to no drama in my life actually...I'm a very quiet person who keeps to herself. Now my ESFP sister & ENTP dad....there's drama, haha.

I agree with Udog, in that my general problem with my ENTP dad is he wants me to open up, but he cannot nurture me to do so. My ISFJ mother has been able to do that with each of us at some point, and it tells me we need both need nurturing people, but are not nurturing ourselves.