Salomé
meh
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2008
- Messages
- 10,527
- MBTI Type
- INTP
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
What is the expected response to these sorts of jabs? For instance I told an INTP I missed my flight and via email he made funny jabs at me about not being able to read and then asked if I had brain damage. At first I was taken aback for a few seconds but then swooped in with crazy Ne-Fi and told him that illiteracy combined with brain damage was what made my career in marketing so successful, then made fun of myself a bit longer.
Does the INTP expect a joke, a witty reply in turn or will self depreciation (in a good way of course) be okay? Not sure what the expectation is here.
Sounds like an insensitive moron. Couldn't possibly be INTP.
He may well appreciate your self-deprec(i)ation as a means to bolster his own fragile self-esteem. But he will only value you as highly as you value yourself. (That's not unique to INTPs, by any means.) And in my experience, if as an ENFP, you are hurt by his crass insensitivity ("taken aback") but play along anyway, maintaining harmony at the cost of your own dignity, you will end up resenting it later on some level and it will poison the relationship. Meanwhile, he will continue to be clueless about the effect he is having until one day you suddenly blow up "irrationally".