I ran across this guy's stuff a year or so ago and found it fascinating. He asserts there are 5 birth order personalities:
Only
First
Second
Third
Fourth
The Only learns to play alone without feeling lonely, dislikes intrusion, and can be overly expressive via the positive feedback created by the tantrum.
Each first born starts as Only and if there is a perceived loss of love by all the transition when the Second arrives, the Only transitions to First and becomes the "good" kid or the performer to win back love.
The out-performing of the more developed First creates a coping mechanism in the Second to choose perfectionism in certain areas, critiquing others, and suppressing feelings.
The Third copes with the critical second born by being strong and becoming fearless. The Third who fails becomes fearful.
The Fourth responds to the rejection of the Third by trying hard.
The Fifth is ignored by the Fourth and has Only personality...and it starts all over.
Birth Order Plus - Intro to Birth Order
I've noticed that Third Born has a high correlation to ENFPs. I think Onlies are more often N. Recently reading an ENFJ thread, there seems to be some correspondence to First traits.
Thread Tally:
Only
1-INTJ, 1-INTP. 1-ENFP, 1-INFJ, 1-ENTP, 1-ISTP..(No apparent trend here)
First
Second
1-ENTJ
Third
3-ENFP
Fourth
I always enjoy applying these family theories to my own ginormous hillbillyish set of sibs... I'm sixth out of seven... my own siblings I would type as follows:
1: Sister: INTJ
2: Brother: ISTP
3: Brother (deceased): INTP
4: Brother: ENTP
5: Brother: INTJ
6: Myself: INFP
7: Sister: ISFJ
Hmm, except for the first and fifth siblings having somewhat "only"type personalities, (INTJs, ) this doesn't really seem to stand up.
I'm 2nd born (ISTJ).
Viewers, please leave a post with your MBTI and your natural birth order.
I don't know. I've always been a lot more focused on being 'good' at what I do than my brother. He doesn't have a competitive bone in his body. I'm always working on something. He's always playing with something.
It sounds familiar. Brother's an INFP, I'm an INTJ.
Then again I've heard that if the children are born more than 5 years apart, then you get another 'first' rather than anything else.
I'll throw a wrench (me) into the works . I'm a twin who has no other siblings. I read your brief descriptions, and there really aren't any that fit. Definitely not "Only" - at the risk of sounding simplistic, *maybe* a semi-mishmash of "First" and "Second"... but not really that either.
MBTI - me= IntP, sister=ESfJ. Neither of us is a really strong (stereotypical) example of our types, though.
This guy would say you are both Onlys. Twins born later each take on one or the other of the next two types.
I have a friend who is a twin born with an older brother. He took on the Third personality (and is also an ENFP) and his twin took on Second. My dad is a twin that took on Second and his sister took on Third (and I think she is an ExFP).
Your Link said:The only child has to solve the problems of how to play alone without feeling lonely and how to deal with intrusion. The child develops imaginary playmates to overcome loneliness
I think the "birth order" model just doesn't fit my situation very well (granted, it's not that common). Looking at the link that you posted, the "Only" kids are characterized by:
That's completely incorrect based on what my sister and I did as kids. We played together constantly, and I don't think either of us had imaginary friends, etc. The "First" and "Second" descriptions (granted, the web page you posted gives only brief descriptions) each have a little bit of fit, maybe (in my case, probably more as kid#2), but there really wasn't any "perceived loss of parent's love" or "kid 1 taking away attention" going on.
There might be some truth to the birth order concept, and I can certainly see certain kids taking on certain roles in the family, but I don't think it's really as cut and dried as the Birth Order Guy believes.
Farming Style (if a farmer)
Each birth order personality is distinct, not a blend.
Birth order does not change once it is established.