Not everyone has every symptom, but if it's standard then it's standard for a reason and does not indicate someone is in the dark. I could just as easily say I don't relate to what you recently posted about borderline on the boundaries thread.
um, i don't really remember what exactly i posted...but here i was mostly referring to what is a superficial reference to...what people have observed in those with "BPD" (or what they would go on to label borderline), such as impulsive behaviors, "idealization/devaluation and splitting," "abandonment" etc. have become 'common clinical phrases to describe bpd' and the only issue i have with it, though it's not that big of a deal, is that it can often create for others with bpd a 'description' to latch onto that may not even be what they would actually use to label their experience before they encountered these phrases! For instance, calling it abandonment, or fear of abandonment, while to me what i actually experienced initially when these symptoms started was "i feel ugly to the very core, no one wants to be intimate with me," it was more fear of rejection (romantic specifically for me), and "abandonment" does not quite encapsulate it even though it might be a superficial observable trait
(edit: was it where i was talking abotu bpd people being childlike? I am taking that from the very common description of those with bpd as being childlike. Ofc, i think some might be mroe than others, but i do think their empathy deficit, or however you want to refer to it, is becuase of a childlike state of mind. I had read somewhere those with machiavallianism (high) are able to read others - even hyper-read others' intentions accurately. hence they can use that to manipulate
and it is pretty well known that those with bpd cannot (read intentions accurately)
hence why my point about being naive and child-like, to some extent sharing that state of mind with that of a child (also repeatedly referred to in literature on mentalization by Fonagy and colleagues). if they cannot read intentions accurately and as a result cannot be conniving or manipulative in the way people usually mean it (instead i feel like it might actually be closer to a child's "manipulation" if it is manipulative at all, of course, depending on the situation) which is an important point because people seem to assume that level of intentionality and understanding in those with BPD. Marsha Linehan has also clearly stated that they are impulsive and do not have that level of intentionality, and in my opinion they likely don't have the udnerstanding of that either, as if they actually had that understanding they wouldn't be getting into social and interpersonal mishaps to begin with (high cognitive empathy)
though ofc i think i might be more childlike than many other people, including those with bpd. it was not my intention to say others are exactly like me, but that there is a childlike state of mind element there that i think is common to many people with bpd.
source )
superficial observable traits are also why people confuse x for y, like say bipolar for borderline, or fear of abandonment for different reasons with fear of abandonment as characteristic of bpd (often tied to sense of self as...horribly unlovable or however you want to label it)
also idealization/devaluation once again you could actually look at it in terms of: traumatized brain is overwhelmed which is why they are processing reality in terms of its extremes, but idealization/devaluation in and of itself is not that revealing vs. understanding intuitively how a traumatized person would behave because they are overwhelmed.
also just because it's "standard" need not make it acceptable. Psychoanalysis thought traces back to Freud and there is evidence/theory suggesting that he basically made stuff up in order to propel himself into fame/success. And then you have an entire school of thought built entirely on shaky foundations
People also state pretty clearly that they don't fully understand the disorder yet. Some of those symptoms may be ascertained to have negative judgments tied to them, for instance, even though there might be nothing there (impulsivity being tied to aspd impulsivity for example).
I don't really like arguments as I can't defend myself no matter how hard I try, and my sense of self easily gets undermined, with accompanying nightmares and such, so i avoid them. I am pretty sure I could explain better if I weren't feeling terrified, but I did the best I could. Another issue with psychology and bpd is that they clearly don't have that good of an idea of what it is yet (like say, internally) otherwise they would be able to address stigma with assurance that they know well what they are speaking of (specially with regards to these people's internal worlds). But they don't understand it very well yet. So yes, the "symptoms" as indicated by DSM, or clinical psychology in general are just...that. Someone might, for instance, compare BPD to ASPD, I don't understand why - but on the surface they both share "impulsivity." But once you 'incur' the ASPD archetype in your mind, and connect it with BPD, stigma can easily begin there even if it's unconscious
When the fact is it might have nothing to do with sociopathy, people can be impulsive because they are in too much pain and they need to deal with it somehow, or also this ironic method of "coping" where sometimes people are kind of masochistic. Probably seen in BPD also.
4. I often idealize others, especially when I first meet them, and feel comfortable in sharing the most intimate details with them. But I often feel that these same people don’t care enough and aren’t there enough for me.
"feel comfortable in sharing details..." I don't think anyone feels "comfortable sharing details" where they doubt the very security and foundation of the relationship. It's more in the service of an urge to establish that kind of relationship. That's just an example.
Also, I am not sure why you referred to "people with BPD are different" as I don't think I have indicated anywhere that they are not. In fact, I very much believe that they are a diverse group, as with really any other group of people.
Anyways, I don't personally like confrontations, and I am not blaming you or anything like that here, but I would rather avoid continuing this conversation, if you don't mind. I still feel kind of scared and terrified. Not your fault of course - but I can't protect or defend myself when I don't know myself. There was a basic main point/feeling state I was trying to convey, but I don't think I have, because I am completely blanking out due to feeling terrified.
