ENFP and planning- good lord lol (from an INTJ perspective)

[Tilt]

Awww. This thread makes me appreciate ENFPs EVEN more and solidifies the idea that I am clearly not a Pe dom.

 

[five sounds]

Awww. This thread makes me appreciate ENFPs EVEN more and solidifies the idea that I am clearly not a Pe dom.

Bless you for appreciating our brand of crazy!

 

[Starry]

I think it's great my ENFP friends are usually the ones rallying everyone together. It was funny to me how obviously alien our strategies were at navigating the world. I could never see myself organising a surprise get-together the same way, and I think most INTJs would feel the same. I have a theory that: to just jump in and enjoy the ride with no planning is an INTJs worst nightmare. lol

I keep getting the sense from this thread that you have a question but maybe do not have the words for it quite yet or fear it will be offensive to ENFPs if put into the words you do have lined-up...

Are you wondering if there is a cure for this condition?

 

[five sounds]

Thanks for the input, Enthusiastic Dreamer. So it sounds like it is connected to the types then.

I think it's great my ENFP friends are usually the ones rallying everyone together. It was funny to me how obviously alien our strategies were at navigating the world. I could never see myself organising a surprise get-together the same way, and I think most INTJs would feel the same. I have a theory that: to just jump in and enjoy the ride with no planning is an INTJs worst nightmare. lol

I feel like I'm constantly dealing with pressure from Je types to be socially rallied. I'm more often trying to recruit one person to spend open ended quailty time together. And even when i do, i often find myself struggling to engage. I have really limited energy for social interactions that are purely social in nature. Give me a deep convo, an adventure, or a parallel shared experience (dancing or seeing live music), and I'm suddenly ready to engage.

 

[Amargith]

Awww. This thread makes me appreciate ENFPs EVEN more and solidifies the idea that I am clearly not a Pe dom.

Ya know, I had the exact opposite reaction to this thread?

Seriously, it was a revelation. People have been branding me NFJ the last few years, but I'm having a new found appreciation for our way of doing things...and a newfound awe for the way you guys do things

 

[McBoatFace]

I keep getting the sense from this thread that you have a question but maybe do not have the words for it quite yet or fear it will be offensive to ENFPs if put into the words you do have lined-up...

Are you wondering if there is a cure for this condition?

Thanks for asking - hmmmmm not sure if I am intentionally working up to a larger question. I do spend a lot of time trying to understand the worldview and motivations of the people around me (actually "understand" is probably too weak a description, I tend to want to pull it apart as much as possible so I can really know it). My two ENFP friends actually make up a fairly large part of my social interactions, so I tend to focus on them heavily. I found them both baffling at first, less so after I found out more about MBTI, but they still continue to surprise me occasionally with just how differently they see the world, interact with others, and what they value.

Nah, definitely not thinking there is a *cure* though. Firstly I believe a lot of the differences between myself and my ENFP friends are due to a drastically different level of threat detection, which I doubt could be fixed without rewiring the whole brain. My ENFP friends, just like a few here have mentioned, love the adventure of the unknown and tend to believe they can handle anything as long as they are with their friends. This is such a radical view for me - I work everywhere to minimize surprises and the less people I have to rely on (or even been involved with), the better. Secondly, I can see the benefits of their approach, their social circles are big, people genuinely like their relaxed company, and overall they seem happier. I don't see these as disadvantages at all. Perhaps what I'm really wondering about is how much of that approach I could co-opt, and how I can square it away with my much more rigid personality.

 

[Starry]

Thanks for asking - hmmmmm not sure if I am intentionally working up to a larger question. I do spend a lot of time trying to understand the worldview and motivations of the people around me (actually "understand" is probably too weak a description, I tend to want to pull it apart as much as possible so I can really know it). My two ENFP friends actually make up a fairly large part of my social interactions, so I tend to focus on them heavily. I found them both baffling at first, less so after I found out more about MBTI, but they still continue to surprise me occasionally with just how differently they see the world, interact with others, and what they value.

Nah, definitely not thinking there is a *cure* though. Firstly I believe a lot of the differences between myself and my ENFP friends are due to a drastically different level of threat detection, which I doubt could be fixed without rewiring the whole brain. My ENFP friends, just like a few here have mentioned, love the adventure of the unknown and tend to believe they can handle anything as long as they are with their friends. This is such a radical view for me - I work everywhere to minimize surprises and the less people I have to rely on (or even been involved with), the better. Secondly, I can see the benefits of their approach, their social circles are big, people genuinely like their relaxed company, and overall they seem happier. I don't see these as disadvantages at all. Perhaps what I'm really wondering about is how much of that approach I could co-opt, and how I can square it away with my much more rigid personality.

McBoatFace...I wanted to quickly catch you while I see you are still online in order to ask ... How much do you know about enneagram? You are 6w5 and your friends are 7w6?

 

[Starry]

This is not 'musing.' This is talking at a horse until it dies of old age, then shooting it with every caliber bullet from every possible gun ever invented (including revolutionary war cannons and spud guns) then setting it on fire, and individually carrying each speck of ash in opposing directions to opposite ends of the infinity universe.

anticlimatic when I read this I envision/think of a young ENFP

 

[McBoatFace]

McBoatFace...I wanted to quickly catch you while I see you are still online in order to ask ... How much do you know about enneagram? You are 6w5 and your friends are 7w6?

I don't know much about enneagram - did do the test a while back but can't remember the result. Will look into.

Why do you ask? Do you see a connection between the description of the interactions between my friends and enneagram?

 

[Starry]

Why do you ask? Do you see a connection between the description of the interactions between my friends and enneagram?

haha Yes. But if you are not familiar with the enneagram yet then I will not use it in my response.

 

[Dreamer]

I keep getting the sense from this thread that you have a question but maybe do not have the words for it quite yet or fear it will be offensive to ENFPs if put into the words you do have lined-up...

Are you wondering if there is a cure for this condition?

This was my suspicion too, though, it could just be a sort of low-key rant, a frustration (OK well duh haha), or perhaps yes, he is hoping this problem or perceived problem is curable. But, we'll let him answer that rather than us speculating.

My brother had a similar response when finding out his best friend is an ENFJ and was clashing with his Fe, with my brother's strong Te, he's an NTJ, and I told him, it's less that you have to put up with this quality in your best friend, and more about an understanding. And, if people care about someone else enough, there is always some middle ground to meet, so it isn't the end of the world as my brother was fearing.

To direct this to [MENTION=31850]McBoatFace[/MENTION], if the ENFPs care about your friendship and of you enough, they will try to work with you, but there are also things that we can't change and are more tied to the personality type than one's behavior or actions. For example, though I prefer an individual freedom and flexibility to move and do as I please, if it bothers my friend, like my ISFJ friend that complains I never help him plan things, I will make efforts to not be a dick towards him. But I also tell him where I'm coming from. As much as I will try to meet him halfway, he has to bring up the other end.

 

[Starry]

ENFP and planning- good lord lol (from an INTJ perspective)

So....do you remember how I made that plan not to talk about the enneagram in my response to your post? Well, based on your personal experience alone...

What do you think I'm going to talk about in this response?

Nah, definitely not thinking there is a *cure* though. Firstly I believe a lot of the differences between myself and my ENFP friends are due to a drastically different level of threat detection, which I doubt could be fixed without rewiring the whole brain. My ENFP friends, just like a few here have mentioned, love the adventure of the unknown and tend to believe they can handle anything as long as they are with their friends. This is such a radical view for me - I work everywhere to minimize surprises and the less people I have to rely on (or even been involved with), the better. Secondly, I can see the benefits of their approach, their social circles are big, people genuinely like their relaxed company, and overall they seem happier. I don't see these as disadvantages at all. Perhaps what I'm really wondering about is how much of that approach I could co-opt, and how I can square it away with my much more rigid personality.

My plan not to mention the enneagram became impossible for me to execute. This is due to the fact I honest to god don't know how to make plans...like the whole process is very confusing to me. But moreso it is because I can't just not tell you how happy and excited I am for you and your future when I read all of the bolded...every single amazing word of it. I needed to mention the enneagram, you see, in order to tell you that I could have not mentioned it (you seem to already know the enneagram without knowing much about it at all). When I consider all of what has been written in this thread...I love more than you will ever know that you found your pathway to integration.......... without the map.

How long will it be before you understand the significance of what I'm saying? Um, it could be a while. There is a good chance it will be challenging for you to see yourself in the descriptions of your true enneagram type and doubt may follow you for a while in this regard... And so I'm asking you to trust me...please believe me when I tell you to walk that path...figure out how to do it and walk it for it will lead you home. You are learning to let go of the fear. You are learning to trust yourself and others...and to have faith that everything is happening just as it should be and you can let go and feel at peace.


What path do your ENFP friends need to walk though? Don't think for a minute that this is a one-way street as they need to walk your old path towards integration...and I hope you will help show them how.

 

[Coriolis]

^ Yup. We talk to people without the protective shielding of a technological device - even strangers.

Novel, aint it?

If you and I had the opportunity to talk sans a technological device, that would be novel indeed. Those devices give us the capability to have conversations like this, with people all over the world that we would otherwise never become aware of, much less have the chance to meet.

That being said, I do not prefer communication via cell phone. Too barebones, limited, and immediate. Email is the way to go. Much easier to express yourself fully and thoughtfully, and the asynchronicity accommodates even the most incompatible and busy of schedules.

My ENFP friends, just like a few here have mentioned, love the adventure of the unknown and tend to believe they can handle anything as long as they are with their friends. This is such a radical view for me - I work everywhere to minimize surprises and the less people I have to rely on (or even been involved with), the better. Secondly, I can see the benefits of their approach, their social circles are big, people genuinely like their relaxed company, and overall they seem happier. I don't see these as disadvantages at all. Perhaps what I'm really wondering about is how much of that approach I could co-opt, and how I can square it away with my much more rigid personality.

And that is the million dollar question. If you can find (and share) the answer, well - you probably won't actually get $1M, but you will earn the appreciation of many of your inquiring type-mates.

 

[Redbone]

I feel like I'm constantly dealing with pressure from Je types to be socially rallied. I'm more often trying to recruit one person to spend open ended quailty time together. And even when i do, i often find myself struggling to engage. I have really limited energy for social interactions that are purely social in nature. Give me a deep convo, an adventure, or a parallel shared experience (dancing or seeing live music), and I'm suddenly ready to engage.

 

[McBoatFace]

... I can't just not tell you how happy and excited I am for you and your future when I read all of the bolded...every single amazing word of it. I needed to mention the enneagram, you see, in order to tell you that I could have not mentioned it (you seem to already know the enneagram without knowing much about it at all). When I consider all of what has been written in this thread...I love more than you will ever know that you found your pathway to integration.......... without the map.

How long will it be before you understand the significance of what I'm saying? Um, it could be a while. There is a good chance it will be challenging for you to see yourself in the descriptions of your true enneagram type and doubt may follow you for a while in this regard... And so I'm asking you to trust me...please believe me when I tell you to walk that path...figure out how to do it and walk it for it will lead you home. You are learning to let go of the fear. You are learning to trust yourself and others...and to have faith that everything is happening just as it should be and you can let go and feel at peace.

Thanks for the optimistic insights, the honest enthusiasm which you bring to the forum is stunning, lol. I'll have a think about what I can learn from my friends.

 

[Lord Lavender]

Not an ENFP but as a Ne dom Ill drop my comments here. For me planning is something that is loose and not set in stone as my logic is that things can change for the day like a key person is unable to turn up, a disaster happens or you just change your mind and the idea seeming fun doesnt translate into real life welll (Kinda like Shakespeare lolz with the good ideas translating poorly due to the language differences). I do plan though but in a more shceming way than a true cocnreate plan and I have a theory regarding how the two ENxPs "plan" differently.

I think ENFPs plan in the more classical sense with this process Ne idea, Fi wants and desires and Te outwards planning. ENTPs I think are more Ne idea, Ti internal planing and Fe to get other people involved. No wonder I am such a schemer lol .

 

[Starry]

Thanks for the optimistic insights, the honest enthusiasm which you bring to the forum is stunning, lol. I'll have a think about what I can learn from my friends.

I bring all the honest enthusiasm to the forum yard. Also -> I bring a good amount of "wtf is she saying?" to the forum yard as well... and yes, you're welcome.

If you ever have questions...if you have questions now or at some point in the future...please don't hesitate to ask.

 

[Starry]

I think ENFPs plan in the more classical sense

Totally

 

[The Cat]

I'm just happy to be here ^_^

 

[Coriolis]

I bring all the honest enthusiasm to the forum yard. Also -> I bring a good amount of "wtf is she saying?" to the forum yard as well... and yes, you're welcome.

If you ever have questions...if you have questions now or at some point in the future...please don't hesitate to ask.

Exactly. The forum has no shortage of people who will come out and ask, "wtf is she saying?"