[MBTI General] A question for all the INTx ladies...

[Totenkindly]

Yep, I'm all gooey inside if you squeeze me

Raspberry goo, or orange blossom creme?



..as long as it's not toothpaste goo.

 

[hidden]

Well the INFJ's can answer this too, but how often do you get hit on? I am not talking about the drunk frat boy saying you look cute, but some seriously cool guys that can look into you and tell how cool you really are inside.

I personally ditch the crazy ESFP, because I can tell they have been around the block more than once and go after the more low key intuitive girls. No offense ESFPs... you guys are smoking hot but I hate Extroverts and I can't talk with sensors for more than an hour before my brain starts to hurt.

I can't STAND getting hit on. That gives me the impression that the other person is insecure within himself, that they also put on a front to try to impress me (it's very diffucult to impress me) to keep from being something that they are not...and it's a turn off. I also tend to avoid certain areas at certain times to keep from getting hit on. Being a homebody makes that a lot easier.

 

[Uytuun]

I too am having a shitty day and I too don't get approached often and when I do get approached I immediately know yes or no and on the rare occasion it's a yes, I get immediately swept off my feet and crumble to an insecure little creature that has no idea how anyone could stand to be with her on a serious basis. Then again, I also don't want to/can't change myself, so I'm stuck. Now that I think about it, I seem to be pretty convinced that it is impossible for other people to really love me the way I am once they actually go through the trouble of looking inside me.

*goes to sob in a corner*

I have noticed my ISTJ friend also goes insanely gooey when she's with someone that really pushes her buttons.

I've also noticed that there is a certain niche INT women seem to appeal to a lot and some can be really smitten by us.

 

[Kasper]

*hugs Uytuun and passes a tissue*

Don't it suck!

This world was not designed with us INT women in mind (wouldn't change who I am for the world though). Fricken endless circle in my head... they won't accept me for who I truly am but I'm comfortable with who that is and won't change it for them, reverse and repeat *sigh*

Raspberry goo, or orange blossom creme?

*presents body for squeezing* here see for yourself... it's mostly full of delicious red wine and a gummybear.

 

[Uytuun]

Aww, thanks. *sniffle*

That's kind of true, but I'm sure there's an intrepid adventurer/wild animal tamer out there somewhere that won't be afraid of the maelstrom of weirdness that's inside. Wow, I've just totally contradicted myself compared to my previous post. *prepares to walk FiFi*

 

[Kasper]

Damn skippy and no 'fence but I hope I snag him before you do

 

[Uytuun]

May the best INTJ win.

 

[Haphazard]

The only guys who have ever hit on me are the uber nerdy guys who creep me out within the first five minutes.

With girls, however, it's another story. My friend's friends really seem to like me a lot.

 

[Totenkindly]

*presents body for squeezing* here see for yourself... it's mostly full of delicious red wine and a gummybear.

*poke poke*

Sigh, I was hoping for amaretto nougat!

The only thing I don't like about getting hit on is that I have to decide what to do about it... and I no longer feel like I'm in total control of what is happening, nor have all the information I need up front to make the most accurate decision, so it's partly a threat if I decide I need to extricate myself.

It's more a matter of moving from passive stance to proactive, though, and not flexing so much to the other person.

 

[Angry Ayrab]

Dang you INTJ women, quit shooting yourself in the foot. Take a risk once in a while and give a brother a chance. Trust me that Ni meter isn't always as good as you would like to think.

 

[Haphazard]

The rationale is that there would be very, very few guys that would actually like me for how I am, and out of that there's only a fraction that I would actually like back. Therefore, the chances of a guy who is hitting on me being one of those people (instead of either a guy looking for someone 'easy' or a guy who does not see women very often and goes, 'hehe, female, hehe' because of an uncontrolled primitive instinct) is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very low. In fact, the chances of it happening are negligible.

So guys, stop it. I'll come to you.

 

[Usehername]

I tend to get hit on most by guys who have known me for a short while, but weren't initially interested the moment they met me. Basically, once they get to see me interact with others, but before they know me really well.

I think a lot of guys think they're interested in a personality like mine, but then once they get to know that it's not an act (i.e. I'm never going to turn into the nodding smiling trophy wife type) 90% of guys are immediately disinterested.

The other 10% though... those males I find are directly correlated to being the interesting and intelligent guys that I might be interested in.

 

[Wolf]

The rationale is that there would be very, very few guys that would actually like me for how I am, and out of that there's only a fraction that I would actually like back. Therefore, the chances of a guy who is hitting on me being one of those people (instead of either a guy looking for someone 'easy' or a guy who does not see women very often and goes, 'hehe, female, hehe' because of an uncontrolled primitive instinct) is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very low. In fact, the chances of it happening are negligible.

So guys, stop it. I'll come to you.

Those are the females I was hoping for, but they never came to me. Apparently INTJ males are just as unwanted by females as the females are to other males.

I tend to get hit on most by guys who have known me for a short while, but weren't initially interested the moment they met me. Basically, once they get to see me interact with others, but before they know me really well.

I think a lot of guys think they're interested in a personality like mine, but then once they get to know that it's not an act (i.e. I'm never going to turn into the nodding smiling trophy wife type) 90% of guys are immediately disinterested.

The other 10% though... those males I find are directly correlated to being the interesting and intelligent guys that I might be interested in.

I see a similar thing in the opposite gender direction, except they think they'll somehow 'fix' what they think is wrong with me.

If it's any consolation, your intelligence and no-nonsense style is very attractive.

 

[Uytuun]

Dang you INTJ women, quit shooting yourself in the foot. Take a risk once in a while and give a brother a chance. Trust me that Ni meter isn't always as good as you would like to think.

I tried this a couple of times...didn't work out. When I'm not intrigued by and attracted to a guy it's no use proceeding further - but I guess that's not INTJ specific. Of course what I'm attracted to isn't always "conventional". And when I say immediately, it's not as if I tell them to go away after 30 seconds, but after an evening of talking, I usually have made up my mind on at least a subconscious level.

 

[Economica]

The rationale is that there would be very, very few guys that would actually like me for how I am, and out of that there's only a fraction that I would actually like back.

I find that the mutual success rate is delightfully high with ENPs.

To answer the OP: I feel fortunate to have had my personality romantically appreciated fairly often in my life considering, y'know, the social awkwardness, the hardheartedness and the feisty dogmatism that goes with the female INTJ territory. I don't think I ever dismissed guys before getting to know them (unless they failed my physical attraction test, but that goes without saying) but then, my attachment style is extremely secure (neither anxious nor avoidant). Of course, it's difficult to know which came first, the happy experiences or the security. Having a mother who was an INTJ herself and who therefore manifested an ideal of femininity that was not alien to me probably helped me feel comfortable enough in my own skin that I could be attractive to others. But since we can't retroactively reengineer our parents' types dry: ) it is more useful to mention that I've met more than my fair share of ENPs. I can highly recommend for other INTJs to seek them out.

 

[Uytuun]

What exactly happens when one merges an INTJ with an ENP?

 

[Wolf]

What exactly happens when one merges an INTJ with an ENP?

Sparks.

 

[01011010]

On average, one brave soul a semester. Do I take them up on it? Not usually. Most people interested in me, aren't my type. Yet, I did gain a great friend out of one of those adventures. A lesbian engineer student, via o-chem a few semesters ago. Anyway, I'd rather choose and pursue of my own will. I've never had a romantic relationship begin when someone else made the first moves.

 

[Usehername]

<suddenly realizes Haphazard is female>

 

[Kasper]

Dang you INTJ women, quit shooting yourself in the foot. Take a risk once in a while and give a brother a chance. Trust me that Ni meter isn't always as good as you would like to think.

Another fun fact: Outrageous over-the-top flirting makes me cringe as I assume sex is the motivation but subtle flirting can go right over my head, seriously I can be oblivious, I'm a friendly person and will chat to anyone and kinda assume the same in others so miss obvious signs of flirting - Like REALLY obvious in the way that everyone around me can see plain as day I think it goes back to my perception that I'm not what they're looking for, that and um, I kinda live in a bubble...

While my Ni has proved right again and again that doesn't mean that I don't push it at times, when I said "90% of guys I meet are dismissed in 5 minutes" that was not literal, I will give a guy a chance the problem is I can predict what's coming and can't fake attraction once I've seen something that is unappealing. Guys don't surprise me often in that respect but I'm happy to give them the opportunity to. What I wrote before was how I feel and is not necessarily indicative of what I let unfold if that makes sense.

I tend to get hit on most by guys who have known me for a short while, but weren't initially interested the moment they met me. Basically, once they get to see me interact with others, but before they know me really well.

Yup, me too. My thing is I don't have a problem taking the first step so if a guy is a friend chances are it's because I'm not interested romantically, kinda sucky! Oh and most of my guy friends tend to be ESJ's, love them dearly but as a partner they would drive me batty.

<suddenly realizes Haphazard is female>

Took me a while to figure that one out too