After Earth

[Totenkindly]

Wednesday afternoon.

No reviews yet from critics on RT. Nor Metacritic. Bad sign.

I went snooping.

The first review I found was in German. Yes. I had to translate the page to find it. It was rather worthless, it didn't really say anything about the film that gave me a sense of its quality.

The next review comes from Tampa. I'm not enamoured with the reviewer but considering what things were covered, there is likely to be some truth to it even if not totally reputable. [The rating here is 1.5/4.]

http://cwtampa.cbslocal.com/2013/05/29/movie-review-after-earth/

"Moderate" scoring review from Steve Persall in Tampa as well:
http://moviereviewintelligence.com/movie-reviews/publications/tampa_bay_times/

Apparently Tampa is the only city with any cajones, or wasn't considered important enough to pay off to prevent them from dumping their load early.

 

[The Ü™]

It might have a slight chance of being a parody of Oblivion, rather than just a parody of M. Night Shyamalan movies.

 

[Totenkindly]

It might have a slight chance of being a parody of Oblivion, rather than just a parody of M. Night Shyamalan movies.

Is that supposed to be a boost?

 

[The Ü™]

Is that supposed to be a boost?

I thought Oblivion was the best sci-fi movie of the year (so far), and the best this movie seems to be is a parody.

M. Night has been unaware of how hilarious he is since after Unbreakable, my personal favorite of his.

And the CG creatures in After Earth look like crap...as bad as the werewolves in the Twilight movies.

 

[Totenkindly]

I thought Oblivion was the best sci-fi movie of the year (so far), and the best this movie seems to be is a parody.

And the CG creatures in After Earth look like crap...as bad as the werewolves in the Twilight movies.

Oblivion actually wasn't that great. I'd probably give it a 6 or 6.5 out of 10. I think the design (especially of the robots, ship, and homes/bases) was excellent, but the entire movie was rather soulless. Middle of road for Cruise, although much better than Jack Reacher. The director had the same problem with Tron Legacy -- pretty lights, but kind of empty in terms of space, and the movie itself only had a few flickers of actual soul.

... well, as far as Twilight goes.... ain't gonna argue with you there!

 

[The Ü™]

... well, as far as Twilight goes.... ain't gonna argue with you there!

I just saw CG werewolves in the trailers, and a creepy CG baby in a TGWTG episode.

 

[Totenkindly]

I just saw CG werewolves in the trailers, and a creepy CG baby in a TGWTG episode.

I'd have been surprised if you'd actually watched Twilight.

 

[The Ü™]

I'd have been surprised if you'd actually watched Twilight.

I saw the first one. I didn't have any intense dislike for it, I just thought it was boring. I hear mixed things about the sequels, though, stating they're boring or that they're worth watching because of how bad they are (like many of M. Night's latter-day movies). Maybe one of these days I'll check them out.

 

[Totenkindly]

I saw the first one. I didn't have any intense dislike for it, I just thought it was boring. I hear mixed things about the sequels, though, stating they're boring or that they're worth watching because of how bad they are (like many of M. Night's latter-day movies). Maybe one of these days I'll check them out.

I actually saw most of the first one and didn't think it was awful, I was just kind of indifferent....

 

[cafe]

I may try to see it this weekend, but I also want to go camping and I'm not sure it's a good idea to see this particular movie then go sleep in a raggedy tent in the woods.

 

[Totenkindly]

I may try to see it this weekend, but I also want to go camping and I'm not sure it's a good idea to see this particular movie then go sleep in a raggedy tent in the woods.

Well, if you disappear, make sure you film the weekend on your cell so that we can market it as found footage in 2014 at Cannes.

 

[cafe]

Well, if you disappear, make sure you film the weekend on your cell so that we can market it as found footage in 2014 at Cannes.

If I disappear while camping, the footage will probably be better suited to one of those TV shows like America's Funniest Home Videos, but with people that are TSTL.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I'll watch it if it doesn't turn out that it's actually before earth. Given that it's SHamalyan, though, that's probably the case. Twilight zone already did it!

 

[The Ü™]

6% so far.

It's a miracle that M. Night's newer movies get released in the theater, let alone an advanced screening for the critics.

This week's other release, Now You See Me, has an 80% rating (so far). If it maintains that, I'll be impressed. Usually when a movie stars an ensemble of big Oscar-winning/nominated actors directed by a no-name, the rest of the movie gets lazy. In this case, we have Oscar nominees Jesse Eisenberg and Mark Ruffalo, as well as Oscar winners Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman...in a not-Christopher Nolan film.

 

[Totenkindly]

6% so far.

I know, I about died when I saw that this morning -- 1 out of 17 reviews was positive so far... and the positive one came with some caveats. And the score was only 2.5/4 ... a positive?

"Well, it's not as bad as Wild, Wild West."

"Childish."

"Basically, this is Smith and his real-life son, Jaden (both affecting ridiculous mid-Atlantic accents) talking the audience to death for something like 90 minutes before the closing credits."

"This is not the same M. Night Shymalan who gave audiences a reason to shriek in fright one minute and uncontrollably weep the next. Where has that artist gone? "After Earth" bears the mark of a work-for-hire who has all but given up."

"After Earth is no Titan A.E." [ouch]

It's a miracle that M. Night's newer movies get released in the theater, let alone an advanced screening for the critics.

He's kind of the "miracle kid" story in reverse. Starts out at the top of his game, then manages to sink lower and lower. Although, to his credit, it's not ALL his fault this time. Maybe.

This week's other release, Now You See Me, has an 80% rating (so far). If it maintains that, I'll be impressed. Usually when a movie stars an ensemble of big Oscar-winning/nominated actors directed by a no-name, the rest of the movie gets lazy. In this case, we have Oscar nominees Jesse Eisenberg and Mark Ruffalo, as well as Oscar winners Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman...in a not-Christopher Nolan film.

Funny, huh?

Anyway, it looked to be interesting, and so far despite some flaws I've seen pointed out in early reviews, it has a lot more buzz and might be worth seeing.

 

[Totenkindly]

The most positive review now (3 reviews out of 20 are positive) ends with this endorsement:

It’s easy to snark on ‘After Earth.’ It’s dumb, Jaden Smith can’t act and some genius decided it would be a good idea to have the characters speak in an indiscernible accent. (Normally I’d say the director, but it is pretty clear that M. Night Shyamalan is a hired gun here. After so many disasters in a row, he appears to be on a tight producer’s leash.) Yet with all these criticisms, I can’t lie and say I didn’t enjoy this asinine movie. It’s thrilling and adventuresome. I saw ‘Krull’ when I was 9 and thought it was the greatest thing ever. If you have a young person in your life (or are in tune with your inner child) you may find yourself having an enjoyable time

uuhhh..... okay.

I guess it didn't help that I also saw Krull. The Star boomerang was cool, and the seer/spiderweb thing/subplot was both eerie and evocative, but otherwise that movie was in a class with Highlander 2.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I haven't uncovered a reference to a stupid predictable twist, so I'm assuming it actually is after earth.

However, it also sounds like they don't really do anything interesting with the premise.

Verdict: I may watch it, but it's not worth seeing in the theater.

The Glade and the mix of sci-fi and fantasy were the best things about Krull. That's kind of damning with faint praise. I don't regret watching Krull, but I don't really have a desire to watch it again.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

The most positive review now (3 reviews out of 20 are positive) ends with this endorsement:



uuhhh..... okay.

I guess it didn't help that I also saw Krull. The Star boomerang was cool, and the seer/spiderweb thing/subplot was both eerie and evocative, but otherwise that movie was in a class with Highlander 2.

Having seen both movies, I believe that Highlander 2 is still a class well below.

 

[Totenkindly]

Having seen both movies, I believe that Highlander 2 is still a class well below.

All right, perhaps I was being a little excitable... nor have I had the courage to actually view Highlander 2.

 

[Totenkindly]

I haven't uncovered a reference to a stupid predictable twist, so I'm assuming it actually is after earth.

As my one and only spoiler in the thread, apparently the twist of After Earth is that ...

... there is no twist. It's straight-forward, predictable, derivative, and apparently for most reviewers very boring.

Verdict: I may watch it, but it's not worth seeing in the theater.

I'll probably Netflix or Redbox it at some point, for $1 or free.

We should have "fun fantasy night" -- We'll have back-to-backs of Krull and the original "Clash of the Titans" with Harry Hamlin, and then maybe the original Conan the Barbarian wid da Ahnold... and...?