Julius_Van_Der_Beak
Fallen
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2008
- Messages
- 22,429
- MBTI Type
- EVIL
- Enneagram
- 5w6
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/so
when she made the big deal of it, did you tell her you don't care about her going into your social turf?
Yes. I grew less annoyed when I realized that it was what she wanted. If she had been clearer about that, I wouldn't have had an issue and would probably have gone along with it without a problem.
It's part of why we broke up, because she got mad at me for not fulfilling her needs, despite the fact that she never told me them. Actually, I was able to guess that certain things I was doing was bothering her, but when I asked her if that was the case, she told me they ''weren't a big deal." I'm sure she thought she was doing something really awesome by not having me worry about it. The simple fact, though, is that "being free from worry" wasn't something I needed. I even told her that, several times.
She thought she was being "empathetic" but she was just ignoring what I was saying in favor of what she likes to have happen. To me, that seems like Fi narcissim. Placing a lot of importance on what you think is "empathetic" and the "right thing to do", and not giving a damn if what people actually want contradicts that.