I can't help what I'm attracted to anymore than others can. Sometimes, what a person is attracted to, like say a deep thinker, etc., happens to come in a package that has Fi leading things. It's possible! What, you've never been attracted to someone that confused you in some way? Did it stop the attraction? Did it stop you? I'm not the type to back away from a challenge. I'm more the solve-it-and-conquer-the-problem type gal.
Oh I get that, and yes, I am attracted myself to logical people so I get the frustration. The thing is..I tend to crave trust in a relationship (and yes, it has gotten me burned), so that means that when we encounter an issue that is more suited to their T...I trust them and will provide support while they solve it.
Perhaps it is my F that allows me to trust in that? I dunno..I just automatically delegate it, coz it would be insane to try my hand at it, especially if its a timesensitive or important issue, when I can trust someone who is likely to be way better at it than me to take care of it with my help...right?
What if there is a problem? Say, you KNOW you love someone, but an issue pops up. For instance, a floundering ENTP gets neurotic over something and there's a problem with communicating about it, making it look like an even larger issue. Then, it seems like since the love is based on 'feeling' then it could cause it to seem hopeless when it's actually not. Or, do I have that wrong? How could one communicate that it's temporary and just because it would seem larger if it were them (the Fi who normally wouldn't have the problem), it's actually not for the ENTP and is totally solvable? Perceptions are at work here, see? And, it's a pretty common one.
The negative associations could cause a back lash in your relationship yes. At this point, it is helpful to have an F who actually does do reflecting on how their F works on your side. As they will see the core of it, and be able to seperate out all the emotions. Emotions after all are just fleeting. They go away eventually. Love is made up out of more than just those emotions. Your love for another person doesnt change just because you have a fight, or because they happen to go apeshit over something...unless they in the process push some serious triggers, or insecurities in yourself and you get flooded and overwhelmed.
One thing I try to keep in mind (and oddly, it was my INTj who taught me that), is that..the argument itself is something to solve together. Throwing personal insults around or taking things personally isnt going to solve *anything*. The other person in this argument with you *loves* you. Otherwise yo uwouldnt be together. There is no reason to assume they are out to get you. Even if the situation would seem that way due to amped up frustrations or emotions. It often helps to disengage from the conflict and reaffirm first that you arent out to get them. That you do love them, and acknowledge that you are feeling frustrated at the situation, and that your negative emotions arent as much directed at the whole person, but at the result of their actions (which you understand were not intended to harm you!). Intend and outcome are very different to an Fi-user. For Fe people they are closely knit together, I find..but for a Fi-user, intent and who you are are one and the same, often. It is their identity. To assume their intent was to harm you, is to assume they are intentionally evil to you. And that wounds us to our core. Damages trust. Stuff like that.
So, if you can make it very clear that it is the situation that is making you this neurotic (acknowledging ownership and awareness, as well as your own feelings basically), you will find often that you have a supporting partner on your side to resolve the situation, instead of an enemy to battle while dealing with the situation which can only end in lose-lose for both parties.
...again, I have *no* idea if Im on the right track, so lemme know if Im going in the right direction here
I wouldn't argue this. I have no idea, and so can only trust you that you know yourself. What I take away from it though, is that I should do just that. Trust that the other person knows.
Much like us Fs will trust you that you can intuitively see logical stuff which we need a lot more time for to process, yes
Fair enough. I wouldn't ask someone to give me more than what they have when it comes to explaining their feelings for me, but others very well might, so it's great that you've made it clear. I have been a horrible one about not taking deep breathes first before speaking though, and just saying some theoretical thought that comes to mind and having them think it is a well-thought out comment. When in reality, it's just a tentative observation. Worse, when it comes to love/emotions and I REALLY shouldn't say a lot of it because I have to work it out much more before truly being settled on what I believe is true.
You are an extravert though..and if you truly trust your partner, you could benefit from using them as a sounding board. Thats how Fi often gets jumpstarted in ENFPs. They spit out their raw thoughts and emotions, a draft really of what is going on in their head, to hear it out loud and often have realizations the second they hear themselves. Otherwise, the questions/analysis from the other party (as long as genuinly curious and not judgemental), causes them to reflect even deeper on what theyve said. Your Ti probably works similarly...and it can help you dig out what you feel and why
Couldn't have said it better myself! (Especially the needing to know the cause behind the effect -- damn you, Ti).
