I don't think all Js are created equally. Most IFJs - healthy or not - seem to have this ability to blend in or want to be liked or manage socially somehow. IFJs, unless totally batshit crazy (which certainly does happen) seem to be the most likely of all people to be able to "handle" a group and not be terribly obtrusive. Even if they're Mrs. ISFJ McCrazyPants they can probably hold it together in public places, but then will take shit out on their family, that kind of thing.
I think EFJs very well could be polarizing, but will do so in extremely large groups - meaning that *most* people will like them. EFJs have a certain charm - even Hitler did - and can lead people like the Pied Piper, except there will be these people on the sidelines going, "yeah, fuck no." And certainly those people will despise the EFJ. But they will be seen in the EFJs eyes probably as "the outcast minority." I witness this a lot with my ENFJ sister who is "healthy," I suppose, and manages people quite well, but I often don't want to drink her fucking kool-aid. HOWEVER...most people like her, especially people who only know her superficially.
FJs can have a way of convincing people they're not guilty or aren't the bad guy when they really are. It fucking kills me. There's nothing more annoying than, say, the ISFJ guy who manages to convince the people he deems important that "everyone else" is so nasty, and he's just the nicest, sweetest person, why on earth do people take advantage of him? Jesus Tapdancing Christ on a Pogo Stick...
Yes, EFJs can be vindictive and controlling and can make people hate them: I certainly will not argue with you there. I've met EFJs I'd rather avoid, including my ex-boyfriend. But typically they have that Fe ability to smooth things over, at least on a superficial level.
EFPs I think are more likely to stir about shit because they either don't care or don't know how to manage other people. Usually I think it's for lack of caring. At least in my case I frequently just didn't care, and you mentioned this yourself, being proud of having a polarizing effect. I think EFPs are highly likely to be like "Love me, hate me, but spare me your indifference."
I don't know, I'm tired, I'm babbling, but I swear I had a point in there somewhere...ugh...I apologize if some of it isn't totally coherent.