[INTJ] My INTJ Girlfriend is always Late

[Within]

Yeah, it's funny how some people take the test and score INTJ, and then they have this revelation that their suspicions about their profound intelligence were correct all along. So they go around and flippantly dismiss things using one word retorts, because they're too intellectually incompetent to actually debate it point-by-point.

At first I thought your belligerence came from an inferiority complex. But I seem to be mistaken, you don't have an inferiority complex you are just simply inferior.

 

[Randomnity]

Explaining her behavior through typology is another way of excusing her behavior. You don't need that drama.

Quoted for emphasis.

 

[Daedalus]

I am especially curious to hear what any INTJ's have to think; if you are an INTJ who has stumbled upon this thread, I would really appreciate your two cents.

I don't know about other INTJ's but i'm never late. In fact if there is even a remote possibility that i might be late, i leave earlier than usual, so ill be on time...usually about 10 mins early usually. My friends always remark on how on-time i always am. I'f im going on long trips, i plan the time it would take(along with some safety margins) so i can never be "late".

A while back, during my highschool days i used to go jogging early in the morning (at 5.30 am.lol ) with some of my friends. I'm there at the meeting place by 5.15, every time....while some of my friends don't turn up till 6.lol

I don't think this is a type thing...at least for me..because i was brought up in a household that was very strict about discipline and social etiquette. Therefore i could say that my punctuality is a result that upbringing than my type. I have this horror of being late ..again i guess its the influence from my childhood days i'm sure...and generally have a negative(even though i don't judge people based on this!) attitude about people who are always late.

a lot of MBTI stuff can be over-ridden by social and environmental imperatives, so its hard to point out if being late is an INTJ thing or one that is due to other influences.

 

[kevrawlings]

Pffft. Ti users and "debate". Just because you guys don't know which way is up until you've vigorously examined the concepts of "up", "way" and "is" enough to agree to disagree doesn't mean other people have to debate too.

Know your bias, homos.

Sorry, but intuition as it pertains to the MBTI doesn't have anything to do with knowing anything, only thinking you know (and conveniently not being able to explain why).

iN dominant with secondary eT creates the most arrogant of the sixteen types -the INTJ.

 

[kevrawlings]

At first I thought your belligerence came from an inferiority complex. But I seem to be mistaken, you don't have an inferiority complex you are just simply inferior.

Hey a retort with more than one word! It still didn't actually address anything I said, but it's a start. Pat yourself on the back my ingenious friend!

 

[kevrawlings]

And to the dude who posted this thread, don't put up with that stuff from her if it becomes habitual. Stand up to her and she'll respect you for it. I'm sure you're a cool guy, and you don't need to be getting flaked on and dicked around.

 

[Ajax]

Interesting. I just checked my phone after typing this post, and I had a text message. She's going out to a mediterranean hookah bar/restaurant instead of coming over, apparently.

You've been dropped.

Yeah, I'm always late and people always moan at me. I just get constantly distracted and before long they phone me up asking where I am.

 

[digesthisickness]

so, let me get this straight... she hasn't seen you in days and when she knows you're waiting to see her, she decides to do something else instead of seeing you again?

and, you think this has shit to do with type? it doesn't. she simply doesn't care.

 

[sculpting]

My INTJ has a watch. He is very punctual. I think he may have reset the clock on my kitchen stove actually.... He also wants me to time everything I cook. My INTJ father in law is very punctual too. Hell, even the INTJ toddler keeps a pretty strict schedule-or more desire for a certain consistency. Things need to happen in a certain way. As long as those things happen, the rest is reasonably flexible. It's adorably OCD.

I don't think this is a type thing...at least for me..because i was brought up in a household that was very strict about discipline and social etiquette. Therefore i could say that my punctuality is a result that upbringing than my type. I have this horror of being late ..

INTJs seem to learn Fe "rules" as part of an NiTe system of social navigation when young? Even the INTJ toddler has already picked up very specific social mannerisms as memorized behavior patterns. Perhaps the strict adherence to time as a learned rule is part of this that some INTJs learn?

iN dominant with secondary eT creates the most arrogant of the sixteen types -the INTJ.

Hey ya cute little INTJ hater! I'd suggest that the more strongly developed the eT to eS, the better the INTJ is at accomplishing the planned objective-molding the world to fit their vision, the less arrogant and obnoxious they become. (Or is this actually understanding how to form visions that are actually achievable? I dunno...) The ones i work with are older, can be forceful, but have a strong sense of honor and deep caring for those around them. They are not arrogant on the surface, although can inadvertently be dismissive at times. They are confident enough in their own capabilities that they do not need to make social displays of superiority or intellect, via insulting others around them. They are exceptional leaders-they act and others follow. They also have a fairly fast Ni reset time.

OP-Call her ass out on that behavior. Explain that she is being rude. Tell her that if she isnt interested in the relationship moving forward she needs to have the balls to say so, rather than play an avoidance game. If she really is interested, then it is something you need her to work on as it means a lot to you.

 

[ajblaise]

I think Ps are more likely to be late for things they actually do care about, and for a J to do the same thing could indicate you're just a low priority.

 

[Salt n' pepper]

I think Ps are more likely to be late for things they actually do care about, and for a J to do the same thing could indicate you're just a low priority.

This is true for me. I'm usually early to things I find important. If it's super, super important, I try to be just, on, time. To show that I paid attention.

If I'm late, I'm well aware of it. Or my grandmother did actually die.

 

[digesthisickness]

not giving a shit looks the same in P or J.

 

[Kalach]

Sorry, but intuition as it pertains to the MBTI doesn't have anything to do with knowing anything, only thinking you know (and conveniently not being able to explain why).

So?

The point was about the differences between Te and Ti. Te, and the cognitive habits associated with that function, allow for formally arbitrary stipulations of truth. The judgments, being "external" aka arbitrary, don't, at least as far as immediate perception is concerned, spiral down the rabbit hole of endlessly increasing complexity of categorisation. If such categorisation is a priority for you, jolly good and debates ahoy. But for me, formally arbitrary boundary setting works way better and lets other more compelling functions get to work. So, suck it, Mary--you're using the values of one distinct system to critique another.

 

[kevrawlings]

So?

The point was about the differences between Te and Ti. Te, and the cognitive habits associated with that function, allow for formally arbitrary stipulations of truth. The judgments, being "external" aka arbitrary, don't, at least as far as immediate perception is concerned, spiral down the rabbit hole of endlessly increasing complexity of categorisation. If such categorisation is a priority for you, jolly good and debates ahoy. But for me, formally arbitrary boundary setting works way better and lets other more compelling functions get to work. So, suck it, Mary--you're using the values of one distinct system to critique another.

My point was that with iN at the helm, and eT arguing on its behalf, know-it-all behavior is inevitable. Suck what? Who's Mary?

 

[Kalach]

Hi veK. You're doing it again. But introverted perception functions still aren't introverted judgment functions.

Lucky too, because if they were, one couldn't be right all the time.

 

[kevrawlings]

It's the J that makes it a judging function.

 

[Weber]

It's the J that makes it a judging function.

Naw, introverted P's are actually the ones with a dominant judging function. Ti is judging; Ni is not.

 

[Kalach]

Know-it-all behaviour actually is more or less inevitable. It does come with the Ni/Te territory. A perception gets privileged, then some proof is made up to suit it... But is there a cure? Should there be?

I... I... don't know.




(Ho Ho Ho!)

 

[Not_Me]

I am rarely late except by intent. If you have been habitually late with her, then she might be doing it intentionally as payback. Otherwise, you're not particularly important to her.

 

[kevrawlings]

Naw, introverted P's are actually the ones with a dominant judging function. Ti is judging; Ni is not.

You're saying that introverted P's are more judging than introverted J's?

INTP vs. INTJ

That's like saying Rick Moranis from "Honey I shrunk the Kids" (INTP) was more judgmental than Kevin Spacey from "Seven" (INTJ).

J means judgmental. P means perceiving. It's simple.