[NF] The NF Females' List of Deal Breakers

[Esoteric Wench]

This list is for all those people who think that NF women can't cut the wheat from the chaff because we're too nice. Well think again. NF women can and do have deal breakers.*

Please break your list into these three sections:

1. Must Haves
2. Rather Nots
3. Deal Breakers

*This thread is inspired by the NT Females' Deal Breakers thread on the NT Rationale forum.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

OK, I'll go first:

1. Must Haves

• Ambition - Not a lot of money. Just a desire to do something and do it well.
• Kind heart.
• Polite comportment.
• Well-Educated
• Love of Reading
• Passion for the Arts

2. Rather Nots

• Any interest in any sports...
• Smoking
• Less than 5" taller than me. (I'm 5'6" so you do the math.)
• Overly Intrusive Previous Entanglements (e.g., 4 kids from 3 former wives.)
• An Unwillingness to Curtail Excessive Hirsute Tendencies

3. Deal Breakers

• Love of College Football (Yeah, I'm serious.)
• Ignorance
• Selfishness
• Close Minded
• Lay About Attitude
• No Sense of Adventure

 

[MacGuffin]

I don't think Florida will do as well without Tim Tebow.

 

[Unkindloving]

1. Must Haves

• Self-awareness
• Sense of humor
• Lack of political correctness
• Some empathy
• Decent intelligence
• Variety in interests
• Mutual love or something damn close to it
  (likely more, but i'll get around to it if need be)

2. Rather Nots

• Religious
• Excessive introversion
• Sports-obsessed
• Alcoholics / druggies / smokers
• Obnoxious porn habits or collection
• Vegetarian
• HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY

3. Deal Breakers

• Wanting to spawn... i mean.. children.
• Has bottom-feeders.. i mean.. children.
• Too sensitive (aka has more of a vagina than me)
• Excessively clingy
• "I'm right, you're wrong" syndrome
• Lack of compromise
• Manipulative
• Vegan

Btw- i am well aware that i'm an a-hole :blushing:

 

[A window to the soul]

1. Must Haves
   1. Chivalry
   2. Patience
   3. Intelligence
   4. Inner Strength
2. Rather Nots
   1. Games
   2. Talks too much
   3. Sports fanatic
   4. Of the 'F' persuasion
   5. Of the 'J' persuasion
3. Deal Breakers
   1. Frigid
   2. Pushy
   3. Boring
   4. Effeminate
   5. Controlling
   6. Afraid of Bugs
   7. Drives a Chevy Camaro
      
      

 

[slowriot]

whats so wrong with liking sports?

 

[themightybob]

I think it is because NFs (INFs in particular) seem to have a natural disdain for competition, and most sports are essentially competition for its own sake. Sports are also usually associated with brutish behavior.

(of course, im not NF, just an observation.)

 

[Unkindloving]

whats so wrong with liking sports?

Obnoxious fans, basically. Obnoxious jocks, as well. I don't know many people who are into sports that are redeemable. If i meet some, perhaps my personal opinion will change.

I think it is because NFs (INFs in particular) seem to have a natural disdain for competition, and most sports are essentially competition for its own sake. Sports are also usually associated with brutish behavior.

(of course, im not NF, just an observation.)

Bring on the brutish behavior.. and hey.. maybe some disembowelment.. but yelling and clapping at a tv or being a crazed fan will get your balls cut off in Unkind-country

 

[slowriot]

Obnoxious fans, basically. Obnoxious jocks, as well. I don't know many people who are into sports that are redeemable. If i meet some, perhaps my personal opinion will change.

Well I see sports because theres nothing better to do, if you could show me new ways Id do them instead. But I like a soccer game once a week. Usually with my favorite team.

Oh and I know several well educated men that would fit your lists perfectly thats still into sports. But then again they are already married so....

 

[OrangeAppled]

1. Must Haves
Very intelligent
Strong moral integrity & standards
Spiritual
Physically attractive to me
Kind, compassionate, thoughtful, considerate, encouraging, supportive
Emotionally stable
Loyal
Responsible
Affectionate
Can lead/take initiative
Good communication skills
That undefinable chemistry/spark

1 1/2. Would likes
Compatible interests/tastes - art, music, food, travel, etc.
Compatible humor - witty &/or silly, but no comedian needed
Creative, special talent/expertise/passion for something
Intellectual, book smarts, analytical side
Altruistic
Warm & expressive
Spontaneous & adventurous - likes NEW things
Driven/motivated
Sexay
Good style/grooming
ENFJ

2. Rather Nots
Lots of tattoos
Atheist and/or disrespectful of my beliefs
Sports freak, or generally more physical than cerebral
Bald
Very fat or skinny
Ugly dress & grooming
Passive / clingy / whiny
Very reserved/cold
Loud
Health nut or very unhealthy habits

3. Deal Breakers
Opposites of my must-haves.
All the usual stuff: violent, drug use/abuse, dishonest, married, bad hygiene, lazy, etc...
Argumentative, condescending, rude
Alcoholism (that is not in check)
Porn fan
Smoking
Kids
Obese
Asexual
Obnoxious
Military / police / owns a gun
Domineering
Stupid relationship games, manipulative

Man, I could keep going....I swear I am more negotiable than this

 

[OrangeAppled]

^wow, picky, lol! I'm not as particular in the outward as the inward, so...
um, hair is unimportant. bald is maybe sexy...
tattoos, no tattoos... how does that matter?

Yeah, clingy sux!... deal breaker.

Those aren't must-haves....just ideal preferences. I'm not that picky about looks either - I've dated some guys that many people would call ugly. But I also know that physical attraction has it's rightful place in a romantic relationship, and I know what I usually do and don't find attractive. Bald & tattoos are not deal-breakers, but they are also not attractive to me. It would be something I'd have to overlook.

And yeah, I am kind of picky, but I think they're reasonable standards.

 

[A window to the soul]

^Understood. I sorta find stuff I don't have kinda interesting...

 

[murkrow]

1. Must Haves
Strong moral integrity & standards (This along with spiritual is up for debate, but I've gone with conventional understandings of the terms and therefore accepted that I have neither quality)
Spiritual
That undefinable chemistry/spark

1 1/2. Would likes

Altruistic
ENFJ

2. Rather Nots
Atheist and/or disrespectful of my beliefs
Very fat or skinny

3. Deal Breakers
drug use/abuse
lazy
Argumentative
Porn fan
Obnoxious

these are the only things I don't qualify for.

So I don't think it's all that unrealistic, keep gunning for him! (or let's hook up )

 

[Thalassa]

1. Must Haves

• an intelligent
• gainfully employed
• atheist
• with a penis
• a sense of humor
• and a gun
• who loves me

Looking over these lists, I am reminded of an ENTP friend who used to say "Love is deciding what kind of fucked up you can deal with." Nobody is going to be perfect, and they're highly unlikely to even fit the list.

So I can't do it. I can't make the list. Go ahead and take my NF badge away. I'm just not enough of an idealist anymore.

 

[foolish heart]

1. Must Haves
Very intelligent

2. Rather Nots
Very reserved/cold
Health nut or very unhealthy habits

In my experience, "very intelligent" people only find contradictions cute for a short while. The funny thing about these lists is that the people described would often never date the type of person/personality who would write such a list!

*I* think the best thing for, let's call them "list makers" is to learn to recognize their own flaws and meet more people!


I'm not an NF but since I'm here I'll make a list:

1. I am happy being around them
2. Why?
3. Good cook

 

[Chunes]

Must-haves: NOTHING (especially not 'gainfully employed'.. shudder)
Rather not: NOTHING
deal breaker: NOTHING

...but I'm a man

 

[OrangeAppled]

these are the only things I don't qualify for.

So I don't think it's all that unrealistic, keep gunning for him! (or let's hook up )

Well, I have dated guys who did not fit that list (I think they helped me form that list)....it's not like I walk around with that in mind, but when I stop & think about it - yeah, that's my ideal.

 

[OrangeAppled]

In my experience, "very intelligent" people only find contradictions cute for a short while. The funny thing about these lists is that the people described would often never date the type of person/personality who would write such a list!

*I* think the best thing anyone spending so much time figuring out what they want in someone else is to learn to recognize their own flaws and meet more people!

Those aren't contradictions. And maybe, I've met TOO MANY people.
My must-haves is all internal character qualities - I make no apologies.

 

[murkrow]

Well, I have dated guys who did not fit that list (I think they helped me form that list)....it's not like I walk around with that in mind, but when I stop & think about it - yeah, that's my ideal.

I hope (and assume) you could describe your ideal more positively and uniquely.

That might be an interesting exercise.

 

[Aleksei]

NF females? This is sexism. :steam: