sculpting
New member
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2009
- Messages
- 4,148
I guess I just feel so flawed internally. Today I just feel ashamed of what I am and what I do when I try and share that internal side of myself. It is way too intense and overwhelming. So I want to hide it away forever, but get torn by a desire to share it as well as I don't want to be alone.
I don't want to be alone but I can't be true either without seeming a monster. So to let someone in real life see what I feel-in all its honesty is terrifying.
I let me entp best friend read some posts a made a few weeks back and she said she was proud that I said what I felt even if sounded crazy. But I couldn't even talk to her about it. I had no words.
I don't say these things to get attention or make people feel sorry for me-I detest both as they make me feel weak-i would disapear into nothing given the chance rather than seek attention of others.
I wish I could be invisible so I could help people without hurting them. I wish I did not need other people so that I could be alone.
I just feel like a monster and feel shame at being what I am.
I don't want to be alone but I can't be true either without seeming a monster. So to let someone in real life see what I feel-in all its honesty is terrifying.
I let me entp best friend read some posts a made a few weeks back and she said she was proud that I said what I felt even if sounded crazy. But I couldn't even talk to her about it. I had no words.
I don't say these things to get attention or make people feel sorry for me-I detest both as they make me feel weak-i would disapear into nothing given the chance rather than seek attention of others.
I wish I could be invisible so I could help people without hurting them. I wish I did not need other people so that I could be alone.
I just feel like a monster and feel shame at being what I am.