Alright, [MENTION=26674]theforsaken[/MENTION] thanks for that.
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
Well, I'm unsure because for along time I related to 4 or 5 when I read the descriptions or took tests, but those are withdrawn types, and considering I went through a long process on PerC trying to find my socionics and everyone agreed that I was ENTj. I even agree, lol. It makes sense, though I don't relate to the dominant, narcissitic, calculating 8 stereotype of ENTj, the non-steeotypical aspect fits well. Its just hard to imagine a Te dominant 4w5.
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
Calm and balanced, I guess?
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
b. What have others said about you?
c. What do you think of yourself?
a. This question makes me LOL I don't know why, whats it like to be mme? I guess I can sometimes have a hard time getting along with people, and sometimes I don't openly express that they annoy me. I used to be more temperamental but now I've become rather easy-going so, being me is not so difficult, at least if I don't have to deal with other people all the time. Its usually others who make me upset - I don't get upset on my own or by myself.
b. That I'm pragmatic and concrete, that I'm sensitive, that I have a good sense of humor. Those are all things I've heard before, I don't know how accurate.
c. I think I am kind of lazy, I have alot of talents, and its too bad since I haven't found my niche in life. I guess I'm just not a very lucky person, though I'm not unlucky enough to have a terminal illness or somethin like that either, I dunno how I would get through then...I just haven't found the right circumstances/environment that allows me to thrive.
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
Instablity is one. My parents moved around alot, so I always had to make new friends. As an adult, I find I still don't make long-lasting relations very easily...
I'd rather not go further into this because it is kinda personal 
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
a) Both being unemotional or too over the top in my emotions are impossible for me. I heed the call of feelings when I feel them, but I am not melodramatic either. Also, I cannot spend all of my time "fighting" in the real world, I need time alone, at home.
b) Being emotionally manipulative to get what I want is impossible for me. I am too "logical" a person for that.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
Mainly I'm the one who leaves friendships and relationships often because the other person had deceived me, lied to me, or did some other unethical thing.
6. Which types do you identify with most?
a. How do you relate to these types?
b. How do you NOT relate to them?
Pass because if I knew that I'd be answering my own quest for my type.
7. Which types are least like you?
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
Again, I'll pass this one
8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
I don't have an attitude towards finding love and I'm not sure what tis means?
9. What is the message your superego tells you?
"Work more, be productive, you lazy ass bastard!
Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).
Yeah, its quiet personal...
For the following, rank the issues in the order they apply and give a brief description of why and how you relate.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I want to be seen as succesful, powerful, attractive, genuine, real
Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
Spoiler
- to be "okay", having it together
7
- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause
5
- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative
7
- to be knowlegeable
8
- to be powerful, strong, unassailable.
7
- to be accomplished and successful
9
- to strive to become/behave like a good person
6
- to be a loveable person
8
- to be loving and benevolent
5
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
Spoiler
- I must do everything to maintain my world
Yes
- I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and underving of attention
I wouldn't say that, but I would say sometimes others make me feel this way, probably not on purpose most of the time. Depends on my mood tbh.
- I feel imperfect, not (good) enough
Perfection isn't that important to me
- I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed
Resonates with me
- I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things
Not sure
- People have wronged and messed with me
So so true to me
- I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate
So true
- I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack
Sometimes, but its not common
- I've had a sense of being rejectible
Yes
12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
Spoiler
- Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious
This one, yes.
- Rejection, being needy, and not being loved
Kinda
- Weak and not being on top of things
Kinda
- Failure [BYes, this one][/B]
- Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost
This, yes
- Entanglements and losing what I have
Very much this
- Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough
Not sure
- Boredom, grunt work, and being exposed as a charlatan
Never thought about it, but it sounds scary
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized.
Not sure.
