I feel compelled to add my two cents to this topic...
I've always had to put on a mask of toughness, since I was little, in order to prevent people from trying to push me around. This made me appear standoffish sometimes I guess, depending on the context, but because of my quiet nature people sometimes thought they could pick on me or whatever. There was always an (un)-pleasant surprise when they saw how confrontational I became and stood up for myself. My parents always taught me to defend myself in those situations, and I had my share of fistfights as a kid -- perhaps precisely because of this idea that people thought they were targeting someone weak and meek...
I got used to carrying this mask with me, just to survive I guess, through high school and now as an adult. The downside is that I come across a certain way that can make me even more misunderstood than I already am from my reticence. At this point in my life it seems like the kind of thing I should shake off, but as a male you are still expected to be, act, come across a certain way...
Also, I keep calling it a "mask" but, I don't know, maybe this is just a natural development of my personality, being a male and having grown/developed in a particular milieu...
just my take on it
