[ISTP] Is my relationship broken?

[Earworms]

Why is that his wife's fault? No one has to do anything they don't want to do, but if he's feeling burned out and is realizing it's affecting not only his but her happiness too, it may be time to reassess. In relationships we become somewhat responsible for the other persons happiness too, and if he realizes what he's doing is messing with her too he needs to take a look at his life and decide what matters. Excuses can be found for anything but consciously choosing to neglect someone and then avoiding giving them any explanation for the behaviour is a dick move, regardless of the circumstances of your life.

I think you jump to conclusions because we've only heard half, her side of the story. I can't imagine someone like you would be fair and impartial if you were selected to serve on a Jury.
Their marriage is surely on a slippery slope.

 

[Dyslexxie]

I think you jump to conclusions because we've only heard half, her side of the story. I can't imagine someone like you would be fair and impartial if you were selected to serve on a Jury.

Sounds like you yourself are quick to judge too. I don't plan to be on a jury anytime soon, so no worries there.

 

[Earworms]

Sounds like you yourself are quick to judge too. I don't plan to be on a jury anytime soon, so no worries there.

Yeah, but I'm a male ISTP, so it is far easier for me to relate to their circumstance than it is for you. Easier for me to walk a mile in his shoes, so to speak.

 

[Dyslexxie]

Yeah, but I'm a male ISTP, so it is far easier for me to relate to their circumstance than it is for you. Easier for me to walk a mile in his shoes, so to speak.

Totally fair. I'm an ENTP so I'm comfortable with conflict.

 

[ImaFour]

It sounds like you and your husband are two unhappy people.

'Young' does not necessarily mean 'immature' - but important life decisions like who to marry probably shouldn't be made when one is very young. That isn't helpful, I know, I just think it needs to be on the table as you consider your future.

Whatever you do, please don't bring a child into this mess.

Marriage counselling is often helpful, but it may be a hard sell for your husband if he isn't good about speaking about his thoughts/feelings, so I wouldn't push for it.

Here's what I suggest: take some time for yourself, sit quietly and think about what you want. Is this where you want to be a year from now? Five years from now? Ten years from now? What do you want? Seriously. You can't choose a life path for him or anyone but yourself, so take the time and make the effort to make a wise choice for yourself.

Once you are clear about what you want, you will see the path ahead more easily.

I wish you both the best.

 

[LEGERdeMAIN]

that sounds like some of my past relationships. I didn't get married though, ex-gfs are better than ex-wives. you should find someone trustworthy to talk to.

 

[EcK]

Genius.

Waiit? You're supposed to masturbate DURING porn?

I knew I was doing something wrong

 

[Earworms]

Waiit? You're supposed to masturbate DURING porn?

Before, during, after, does it make any difference?

 

[EcK]

Before, during, after, does it make any difference?

yes

 

[Earworms]

yes

Care to elaborate?