INTJ - question about promiscuity and gayness

[tinkerbell]

Hi

I have been dating someone new, I think he is an INTJ, and has a fairly high flying job so is fairly time poor. He is very keen to seal the deal, I've yet to meet a man who didn't want to jump on my bones at the first opportunity but this guy is pressure.

I made it clear it wasn't going to be an instant thing and he got all huffy.... and dissapeared, only to turn up in New York for work... like he must have known that was on the cards and didn't tell me.

Anyways, a week before he gets back I get the message from him saying he had a same sex experience, he is in his late 30s so in my head its a much bigger deal than just a one night stand. Anyway he also claimed the guy in question was also having his first same sex experience, the odds of mature men suddenly getting it on independently must be quite slim? I wonder if this might be a ruse to try and get me into the sack quicker than I feel comfortable with.

I'm an NT type, and I know most NTs I've met find the whole casual sex thing quite off putting, I've typed him, so I may be wrong, but would an INTJ have a gay experience if left to his own devices as a mature person.

any thoughts... let me know

Thanks

Lx

[five sounds]

not type related?

also, especially if it was his and the other guy's first same-sex sexual experience, he might not have classified it as 'casual sex'. sounds pretty significant to me.

[tinkerbell]

type in as much as NT typically in my experience don't sleep around. I can't figure out if it happened or its a ruse, I think if you look a likelihood of two adult men suddenly getting it on isn't a normal meeting. They were sharing accommodation...

I don't know. I don't know any gay INTJ's to my view, I know a questionable ENTP and I think he fits the non promiscuous path except perhaps when hammered.

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PS thanks for your reply

[Rasofy]

He doesn't seem very interested in a serious relationship with you.

Possibly because he realized he is into guys (though he could also be bisexual).

I believe that, hadn't he liked the experience, he would have wanted to make it as secret as possible.

[HongDou]

does sleeping with another guy once really mean that he's the promiscuous type though? there are a fair amount of dudes in that age range who get curious and want to experiment.

i don't think something like this would affect his type, but it might affect your perception of him since you're dating him which is why you're questioning it.

[tinkerbell]

I don't think there are many men who level it till they are pushing 40 to experiment. I totally agree if he had the experience he would want to keep quite about it unless it was a rues to lower my reluctance to sleep with him... the whole save me from turning gay... which any woman would tell you is likely to have the exact opposite result. which it had.

I think the bottom line is if he were genuinely into me, I wouldn't be cutting through this crap... I hate london men, they are so tricky... Scots men are so much simpler, the bash you over their head and drag you back to their caves...

[Nicodemus]

Whatever his play is, he does not exactly seem to be a catch.

[tinkerbell]

i know I've yet to meet a London man who wasn't very tricky to begin with, it is possible I've rubbish selection behaviour.

To be honest I thought he had lost interested he was in the US, and then I get this message, about a week before he is back.... so hmmm

[highlander]

Whatever his play is, he does not exactly seem to be a catch.

That's my impression as well.

[Nicodemus]

i know I've yet to meet a London man who wasn't very tricky to begin with, it is possible I've rubbish selection behaviour.

To be honest I thought he had lost interested he was in the US, and then I get this message, about a week before he is back.... so hmmm

Get a woman friend of yours to pick a guy for you. Or, better yet, a gay friend.