Elaine
New member
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2013
- Messages
- 87
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 1w9
Just wondered who NTs find easier to talk to: Intuitive Feelers or Sensor Thinkers.
I, for example, find NFs much easier to socialize with than STs. I' m generally not a very sociable persin, it' s difficult for many people( majority of whom are of course SFs) to understand me or find common language with me. Besides, I' m rather self - sufficient: I don' t have this need to socialize like I have needs to eat or sleep. I won' t come and talk to someone unless I have a good reason for that or I really like to socialize with that person. To me, friendship is not a necessity, but more like something like a symbiosis, and a huge attachment to someone. Small talk means nothing to me, I don' t like to spend energy on spare words, and that' s why lots of people consider me weird. I haven' t met an NT in real life so far, but there is a number of NF people with whom I am in rather good terms, and who don' t consider me weird at all. Among them there are my two best friends, one INFP and one ENFP( well, she was borderline ENTP when I gave her the test, but I guess she is more F because of her short temper) . Sounds like we don' t have much in common, right? But I find it easy to find common topics to talk and reach consensus when I am with them. Of course, there are several things about them that annoy me, like irrationality and preference of subjective feelings instead of logical thinking( which I plain can' t understand) , occasional laziness and overall tenderness( INFP friend), or hot temper and being overly emotional( the ENFP friend) . But I find these differences rather tolerable, and I can say. There is als my English teacher who is an NF( can' t say which one exactly) . Many teachers in my school teach us by enforcing a certain way of thinking, and discourage anyone whose opinion differs from it. I, despite overally being an A - grade student and one of the best in class, even got my mark lowened several times for expressing oppinions that contradict more widely spread points of view in my compositions( I know, I could have written a point of view that corresponds with the one of society, but my pride cannot afford it. Most opinions of society seen primitive to me, and writing that is almost equal in my mind to dressing up in a chimpanze costume and pretending to be an ape just to please others. I don' t want to change myself just to please others, since I don' t have a reason to please others. ) . But my English teacher is not like that. She encourages students to think( even though most of my generation don' t want to, which is rather shameful) , instead of just giving the stamped way of thinking. I remember when I had to write a composition on a free topic, I decided to criticize one character from a classical novel whom many people in my country consider a role model for females, but I found this charater rather foolish and flawed, and not a good role model at all. Had it been the teacher of my country' s literature( ESFJ) the one who read this composition, I probably would have been called weird in front of the whole class( Because that' s what she does to me when I say anything that doesn' t correspond with socity' s opinion. I don' t give a damn about what the classmates think of me, however) . But my English teacher said I had a very good composition, and even said that when she was in my age( I' m currently 16, and will be 17 in less than 2 months) , she wasn' t able to question everything in a composition so openly , and to explain it so carefully. And she also helped me prepare for ESOL examinations 2 years ago( PET, to be certain) , and because of her I passed them successfully.
To me, STs are much harder to communicate with. I have an ISTJ mother, and I find it rather hard to reach consensus with her. She is literally obsessed with cleaning and schedule( like, I always need to clean up at Sunday, no later, even if I' m terribly tired) . She is very by - the - book , and both of us are quite bossy, and sometimes life at home turns into fighting for more bossing. She also believes the majority is always right, and unlike me( who believes right and wrong are subjective preferences of an individual), never questions the majority. That' s why she often tries to shape me into a more socially conventional person, believeing it is best for me( as if she is me and can really understand what is best for me) . I love her, but these are qualities rather hard to tolerate, and it can be rather difficult to reach a mutual compromise with her. I guess she also uses that to cause a feeling of guilt inside me when I oppose her, so that the probablity of me giving up would increase. What bugs me about STs is their by - the - bookishness and generalization of one' s mind. They believe that if something was best for them, it will be best for others, instead of percieving each person as an individual with unique psychology and system of interacting with the world.
And what about you? Who is easier for you to communicate with?
I, for example, find NFs much easier to socialize with than STs. I' m generally not a very sociable persin, it' s difficult for many people( majority of whom are of course SFs) to understand me or find common language with me. Besides, I' m rather self - sufficient: I don' t have this need to socialize like I have needs to eat or sleep. I won' t come and talk to someone unless I have a good reason for that or I really like to socialize with that person. To me, friendship is not a necessity, but more like something like a symbiosis, and a huge attachment to someone. Small talk means nothing to me, I don' t like to spend energy on spare words, and that' s why lots of people consider me weird. I haven' t met an NT in real life so far, but there is a number of NF people with whom I am in rather good terms, and who don' t consider me weird at all. Among them there are my two best friends, one INFP and one ENFP( well, she was borderline ENTP when I gave her the test, but I guess she is more F because of her short temper) . Sounds like we don' t have much in common, right? But I find it easy to find common topics to talk and reach consensus when I am with them. Of course, there are several things about them that annoy me, like irrationality and preference of subjective feelings instead of logical thinking( which I plain can' t understand) , occasional laziness and overall tenderness( INFP friend), or hot temper and being overly emotional( the ENFP friend) . But I find these differences rather tolerable, and I can say. There is als my English teacher who is an NF( can' t say which one exactly) . Many teachers in my school teach us by enforcing a certain way of thinking, and discourage anyone whose opinion differs from it. I, despite overally being an A - grade student and one of the best in class, even got my mark lowened several times for expressing oppinions that contradict more widely spread points of view in my compositions( I know, I could have written a point of view that corresponds with the one of society, but my pride cannot afford it. Most opinions of society seen primitive to me, and writing that is almost equal in my mind to dressing up in a chimpanze costume and pretending to be an ape just to please others. I don' t want to change myself just to please others, since I don' t have a reason to please others. ) . But my English teacher is not like that. She encourages students to think( even though most of my generation don' t want to, which is rather shameful) , instead of just giving the stamped way of thinking. I remember when I had to write a composition on a free topic, I decided to criticize one character from a classical novel whom many people in my country consider a role model for females, but I found this charater rather foolish and flawed, and not a good role model at all. Had it been the teacher of my country' s literature( ESFJ) the one who read this composition, I probably would have been called weird in front of the whole class( Because that' s what she does to me when I say anything that doesn' t correspond with socity' s opinion. I don' t give a damn about what the classmates think of me, however) . But my English teacher said I had a very good composition, and even said that when she was in my age( I' m currently 16, and will be 17 in less than 2 months) , she wasn' t able to question everything in a composition so openly , and to explain it so carefully. And she also helped me prepare for ESOL examinations 2 years ago( PET, to be certain) , and because of her I passed them successfully.
To me, STs are much harder to communicate with. I have an ISTJ mother, and I find it rather hard to reach consensus with her. She is literally obsessed with cleaning and schedule( like, I always need to clean up at Sunday, no later, even if I' m terribly tired) . She is very by - the - book , and both of us are quite bossy, and sometimes life at home turns into fighting for more bossing. She also believes the majority is always right, and unlike me( who believes right and wrong are subjective preferences of an individual), never questions the majority. That' s why she often tries to shape me into a more socially conventional person, believeing it is best for me( as if she is me and can really understand what is best for me) . I love her, but these are qualities rather hard to tolerate, and it can be rather difficult to reach a mutual compromise with her. I guess she also uses that to cause a feeling of guilt inside me when I oppose her, so that the probablity of me giving up would increase. What bugs me about STs is their by - the - bookishness and generalization of one' s mind. They believe that if something was best for them, it will be best for others, instead of percieving each person as an individual with unique psychology and system of interacting with the world.
And what about you? Who is easier for you to communicate with?