• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INTJ] Ask an INTJ

Crescent Fresh

Diving into Ni-space
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
802
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Actually, I've never met any INTJ in real life. That's why when I bumped into you guys online, I find it quite fascinating.

Though I always wonder if INTJs communicate exactly the same way IRL as they tend to be not expressive of their opinions in public, based on what I read here and there?
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
Well it is debatable whether I am an INTJ or not, and probably most of them will say some sort of E type. I assume, since I have every or no type, that means I get to answer all threads.

Personally I feel closest to INFJ types naturally because their Fe comes from a train of thought I can naturally follow. So they are not as imposing on an emotional level than other types can be. Also, they are kind of like little Pokemon. I am not sure I should explain this out loud. Lol.



By the way. I am an XNtJ. So not your typical.
 

Nicodemus

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2010
Messages
9,756
INFP, INFJ, ENFJ or ENFP?
My answer depends on what your question is. Assuming the underdetermination is part of the game, I am going to go with 'Which of these types do you like best?', thereby appearing to be a nice rather than a nasty person, who would probably answer to something like 'Which of these types is most likely to lose in a fight against a windmill?'.

I confess that I have taken an irrational liking to INFJs. But since I am asked to answer which type I like best, as opposed to what type is best, I am not bound to objective criteria or even coherence. Thus: INFJ > ENFP > INFP > ENFJ.
 

Crescent Fresh

Diving into Ni-space
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
802
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
My answer depends on what your question is. Assuming the underdetermination is part of the game, I am going to go with 'Which of these types do you like best?', thereby appearing to be a nice rather than a nasty person, who would probably answer to something like 'Which of these types is most likely to lose in a fight against a windmill?'.

I confess that I have taken an irrational liking to INFJs. But since I am asked to answer which type I like best, as opposed to what type is best, I am not bound to objective criteria or even coherence. Thus: INFJ > ENFP > INFP > ENFJ.


I like it how INTJ is great at deductive thinking.

Then what are the difference between INTJ and ENTP? I'm pretty new to the NT scene so I would like to know more about you guys. :)
 

Nicodemus

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2010
Messages
9,756
Then what are the difference between INTJ and ENTP?
We amuse in different ways: ENTPs are, all and sundry, clowns; INTJs are puppeteers.

Yes, I am not going to answer seriously, because I suspect there are threads about this topic already.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I have a question about an INTJ that I'm friends with.

For almost the entire time I've known her, she has readily shared very personal information with me, in a nonchalant way, and she has almost never talked about the cool things (or cool people) in her life. I'm not sure if it's because she's comfortable with opening up to me, or because it's her way of coping with life's problems? I honestly don't even know if it's type-related. But I was curious as to what you INTJs (and people who know INTJs well) think about it.

Example of the sort of situation I'm thinking of: I contacted her for the first time in several months yesterday, and when I asked her how she was doing, literally the first thing she mentioned was the fact that she might not get enough financial aid to return to college next year. I asked her if her parents could help, and she told me that her mom had given up on her business (because it had stopped earning money), and her dad was in the middle of a court battle regarding a job he'd been fired from, so he had been literally banned from seeking employment for over a year. My INTJ friend didn't say any of this in a very upset way, which made me a little uncomfortable; I would know how to react if she was upset, but I didn't even know if she was! She would have to be, right? But I did my best to respond accordingly, and I think she was happy with how I reacted to the news.

The next day, she texted me to say that it was confirmed that she wouldn't get enough financial aid. I sent her a Skype message about how those jerks didn't deserve her anyway, and she could do fine without college (since she's already an incredibly talented artist). She didn't even respond to that comment, and instead said "Have you heard the news??" I immediately thought it was some positive development regarding the financial aid situation. But it turns out that she had totaled her car, the same day that she had gotten that terrible news! She sent me a photo of it, too. And again, the whole time, she was perfectly nonchalant and matter-of-fact. It was almost like she was enjoying telling me about it. She told me later in that same conversation that she was determined to apply again after a semester back at home (in the hopes that the school would reconsider her financial situation), and that she "wouldn't give up that easily". So that might explain her non-upset mood? But I don't understand, still.

The reason why I'm so confused is that my reactions to bad news are so different from that. If I get terrible news about something, I will tell absolutely no one. I will withdraw and deal with things on my own, maybe only telling my one or two closest friends (and even then, I'll tell them several days after the fact, instead of right away). Often I'll instinctively (and without realizing it) stop contacting the outside world -- no Facebook status updates, no texts to friends and family with cool facts or fun news -- and the only way people get the information out of me is by asking me what's wrong. And if the news is really bad, I might refuse to give people the news over the phone or in person, because I don't want to cry in front of them.

So, needless to say, the idea that my INTJ friend would contact me on the very day these terrible things have happened to her -- me! not even a terribly close friend of hers! -- confuses me to no end. Do you guys have any insights? Is this type-related, at all?
 

Nicodemus

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2010
Messages
9,756
I can tell you my thoughts on the matter, but not how much of it is type-related.

Example of the sort of situation I'm thinking of: I contacted her for the first time in several months yesterday, and when I asked her how she was doing, literally the first thing she mentioned was the fact that she might not get enough financial aid to return to college next year. I asked her if her parents could help, and she told me that her mom had given up on her business (because it had stopped earning money), and her dad was in the middle of a court battle regarding a job he'd been fired from, so he had been literally banned from seeking employment for over a year. My INTJ friend didn't say any of this in a very upset way, which made me a little uncomfortable; I would know how to react if she was upset, but I didn't even know if she was! She would have to be, right? But I did my best to respond accordingly, and I think she was happy with how I reacted to the news.
It is unfortunate for her and it probably upsets her that she cannot do anything about it, but the reason why she can easily talk about it with you is that she does not consider it intimate or even really personal information. These are simple facts about her current situation. It is also the answer to your question - and, which I think is typical, not a description of her feelings regarding the situation (how she is doing) but just the situation itself (how the world around her is doing).

The next day, she texted me to say that it was confirmed that she wouldn't get enough financial aid. I sent her a Skype message about how those jerks didn't deserve her anyway, and she could do fine without college (since she's already an incredibly talented artist). She didn't even respond to that comment
We talked about compliments on Vent last Friday. Apparently some like receiving compliments, others not so much.

[...] and instead said "Have you heard the news??" I immediately thought it was some positive development regarding the financial aid situation. But it turns out that she had totaled her car, the same day that she had gotten that terrible news! She sent me a photo of it, too. And again, the whole time, she was perfectly nonchalant and matter-of-fact. It was almost like she was enjoying telling me about it. She told me later in that same conversation that she was determined to apply again after a semester back at home (in the hopes that the school would reconsider her financial situation), and that she "wouldn't give up that easily". So that might explain her non-upset mood? But I don't understand, still.
I once rode home on my bike when it began raining heavily. Shortly after it had started I was soaked. So I dismounted and walked home - embracing the absurdity. That may be one part of the explanation for her reaction. The other, I guess, is that by telling you about it, she is in fact coping with it such that by sharing the information, the truth of it becomes real. If she tells you, it is on the table and no longer just in her head.

The reason why I'm so confused is that my reactions to bad news are so different from that. If I get terrible news about something, I will tell absolutely no one. I will withdraw and deal with things on my own, maybe only telling my one or two closest friends (and even then, I'll tell them several days after the fact, instead of right away). Often I'll instinctively (and without realizing it) stop contacting the outside world -- no Facebook status updates, no texts to friends and family with cool facts or fun news -- and the only way people get the information out of me is by asking me what's wrong. And if the news is really bad, I might refuse to give people the news over the phone or in person, because I don't want to cry in front of them.
Since the news are not about any failure of hers but rather about the hardships she has to endure (and will eventually overcome), it is not difficult for her to talk about them. Perhaps she would like a compliment on how well she is holding up.
 

InvisibleJim

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
2,387
Ah, the classical problem: My INTJ is frank and open open with the facts which I might find private but they don't share any emotions at all! Are they broken?

In short, no, they are INTJ.
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
She's ESTJ. I'm guessing she's not overly concerned with the emotions of it.
 

Jonny

null
Joined
Sep 8, 2009
Messages
3,134
MBTI Type
FREE
I'm wondering if any INTJs can offer some perspective on the major similarities and differences they notice between themselves and their 1-letter-difference brethren: ENTJs, ISTJs, INFJs, INTPs. What do you respect about these types? What do you think they lack? Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...

P.S. - I'd appreciate a thoughtful and holistic approach; none of that "Well ENTJs are more extraverted" bologna.
 

InvisibleJim

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
2,387
I'm wondering if any INTJs can offer some perspective on the major similarities and differences they notice between themselves and their 1-letter-difference brethren: ENTJs, ISTJs, INFJs, INTPs. What do you respect about these types? What do you think they lack? Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...

P.S. - I'd appreciate a thoughtful and holistic approach; none of that "Well ENTJs are more extraverted" bologna.

Define holistic?
 

Malice

Boldly Gone
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
738
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
2W3
When presented with the option, would an INTJ prefer a gift that's...

1). Useful/Practical - (IE: The missing ____ in their collection, tools, hardware, books, etc.)
2). Sentimental/Thoughtful - (IE: Something that reminds them of an inside joke between the two of you, tickets to their favourite _____, etc.)
3). Something totally random
4). Nothing at all
 

Jonny

null
Joined
Sep 8, 2009
Messages
3,134
MBTI Type
FREE
Dealing with the entirety of a person, rather than focusing so much on individual aspects; think of it as a caution that I don't want a list of trait differences so much as I want a unified analysis. How do the individual differences between the INTJ and XXXX work together to create two very different sorts of people?
 

InvisibleJim

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
2,387
When presented with the option, would an INTJ prefer a gift that's...

1). Useful/Practical - (IE: The missing ____ in their collection, tools, hardware, books, etc.)
2). Sentimental/Thoughtful - (IE: Something that reminds them of an inside joke between the two of you, tickets to their favourite _____, etc.)
3). Something totally random
4). Nothing at all

Might I recommend asking us what we want rather than giving us a sentimental/thoughtful gift which has value to you or a useful/practical gift that we won't appreciate?

Dealing with the entirety of a person, rather than focusing so much on individual aspects; think of it as a caution that I don't want a list of trait differences so much as I want a unified analysis. How do the individual differences between the INTJ and XXXX work together to create two very different sorts of people?

This isn't 'demand an INTJ essay' it is 'ask an INTJ'. I don't do Ne answers.
 

Malice

Boldly Gone
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
738
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
2W3
Might I recommend asking us what we want rather than giving us a sentimental/thoughtful gift which has value to you or a useful/practical gift that we won't appreciate?

Lol and this is why I ask a forum worth of similar-minded folks ;)
Question though: If someone asks you/gets you something that you tell them to, doesn't that ruin the surprise and make it less special? Or maybe you guys aren't all that into surprises :) I have no idea.
 

INTPness

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
2,157
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
This isn't 'demand an INTJ essay' it is 'ask an INTJ'. I don't do Ne answers.

:thinking: What are some major similarities/differences that you see between yourself and your 1-letter-different brethren (ENTJ, ISTJ, INFJ, INTP)?
 

InTheFlesh

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2010
Messages
276
Enneagram
CFV
Lol and this is why I ask a forum worth of similar-minded folks ;)
Question though: If someone asks you/gets you something that you tell them to, doesn't that ruin the surprise and make it less special? Or maybe you guys aren't all that into surprises :) I have no idea.

If we're unaware that you're getting us a gift and you finding out was in a really subtle way, it would probably make the gift better in my mind.
 
Top