[NT] INTP + INTJ relationships, do they work?

[Coriolis]

[MENTION=9811]Coriolis[/MENTION]

How is your relationship with the INTP mate of yours? I'm curious.

How so? Is there something specific you are interested in?

 

[great_bay]

How so? Is there something specific you are interested in?

Can you read books written by INTP's? Is communication attractive? Can you understand Ti? What do you find romantic about your INTP bf?

 

[Luke O]

I'm in an INTP-INTJ relationship. We are much on the same wavelength for a lot of things, more than we are with other people.

I do get the aloofness/arrogance from her sometimes, and my lack of organisation annoys her. We aren't without our arguments and troubles, but we talk to work things out.

And we have an ENFP (I think) daughter thrown into the mix. Make of that what you will

 

[Coriolis]

Can you read books written by INTP's? Is communication attractive? Can you understand Ti? What do you find romantic about your INTP bf?

1. I can't tell whether the books I read are by INTPs or not. (Odd question.)

2. What do you mean about communication being attractive? I generally communicate well with my INTP, meaning we understand each other well. I am much more direct than he is, so if I want him to put out the trash I will ask directly "please put out the trash". If he wants me to do it, he will simply observe that the trash is full.

3. I understand what my INTP is talking about most of the time. I can't say whether that is understanding Ti, or rather understanding the particular combination of TiNeSiFe that he uses. We connected very early on in our relationship, primarily through discussing our dreams and plans for future life. Finding considerable overlap in this area is part of what made us a couple.

4. The most romantic thing about my INTP is simply how much he cares about me, how consistently he shows it, and how persistently he feels it, after > 15 years now.

I'm in an INTP-INTJ relationship. We are much on the same wavelength for a lot of things, more than we are with other people.

I do get the aloofness/arrogance from her sometimes, and my lack of organisation annoys her. We aren't without our arguments and troubles, but we talk to work things out.

^ This too. When we do disagree, it is hardly ever about things that couples typically argue about. Yes, he is much less organized than I, and he accuses me (not without cause) of thinking I am always right. I find it interesting how we will often reach the same conclusion using completely different methods or approaches. It is a good check on the soundness of our decision.

 

[Luke O]

^ This too. When we do disagree, it is hardly ever about things that couples typically argue about. Yes, he is much less organized than I, and he accuses me (not without cause) of thinking I am always right. I find it interesting how we will often reach the same conclusion using completely different methods or approaches. It is a good check on the soundness of our decision.

We had an argument recently, and I did accuse my wife of her thinking that she's always right (and I'm always wrong). It did not go down well...

But yes, we do reach more or less the same conclusions with stuff, even if there is different reasoning. If I come to the same conclusion after her, she might say "I just said that" and I have to explain that I agree with her

We seem to have mutual respect for each other's level of intelligence too. I think that's important to help keep things balanced, if we're both (even if slightly) in awe of each other's abilities. That and funny jokes as well.

 

[great_bay]

Errr Never mind the questions I asked about Ti and communication not being attractive.

 

[great_bay]

We had an argument recently, and I did accuse my wife of her thinking that she's always right (and I'm always wrong). It did not go down well...

But yes, we do reach more or less the same conclusions with stuff, even if there is different reasoning. If I come to the same conclusion after her, she might say "I just said that" and I have to explain that I agree with her

We seem to have mutual respect for each other's level of intelligence too. I think that's important to help keep things balanced, if we're both (even if slightly) in awe of each other's abilities. That and funny jokes as well.

I would want a relationship with a partner that is dominate so I wouldn't mind my partner thinking they're always right. They should at least consider other viewpoints.

 

[Coriolis]

But yes, we do reach more or less the same conclusions with stuff, even if there is different reasoning. If I come to the same conclusion after her, she might say "I just said that" and I have to explain that I agree with her

Several years ago we decided to buy a new car. I researched online for a few hours, checking manufacturer websites, consumer information sites, automotive review sites, etc. and identified what seemed the best choice, followed by several runners-up. My INTP visited many of the same websites over a period of weeks. He made a spreadsheet listing all the possibilities, and comparing the specs and features of each. At the end of this process, he identified the same first choice as I. That is what we bought after test-driving the top contenders. That is fairly typical for our decision making.

We had an argument recently, and I did accuse my wife of her thinking that she's always right (and I'm always wrong). It did not go down well...

How did this situation get resolved?

 

[Luke O]

How did this situation get resolved?

It was part of a big argument, I forget the main cause, but it didn't get resolved, I didn't talk to her for a few days. Hurtful words went both ways...