arrgh! I just wrote a long post replying to all your points, and then I lost it
You'll just have to imagine all the interesting sentences that are left out of this one...
-When it comes to conversations, I will ask her something and she'll ramble on forever about anything and everything. But around strangers she is very reserved.
I have always(incl as a child) been able to talk incessantly when around someone that I'm comfortable with, otherwise definitely reserved.
I was patronized a lot as a child, although I'm sure the people engaging in this behaviour wouldn't have seen it that way, and I
hated it. If I felt there was the slightest chance someone would patronize me then I would say nothing.
-If we go out to the yard for BBQ or something, she'll often stay in her play room and set up these elaborate imaginary settings with her dolls and toys. There will be chairs set up like a class room, with the dolls as students while she lectures in front of the small chalkboard. Other times there is a wedding or babysitting theme. This isn't uncommon for kids to do, but what gets me is the level of detail in her imaginary world. I like to go in there and ask her questions about whats going on and she'll ramble on and on in meticulous detail about names, positions, why they are doing this or that, who was just here but left to pick up this or that at the store, because its on sale blah blah blah etc.
I played with dolls a lot, especially barbie dolls. I would create elaborate setups and a story would be playing out in my head while I was doing this. Generally I didn't physically make the dolls act out, it was more like the elaborate setup was s stage for my imagination - all the action was going on in my head.
I also used to make up stories/adventures and tell them to my younger ESTJ sister. She believed them all (didn't realize this until I was older!), probably because I pretended they were true since it was more fun that way.
Some examples (ages 6-8 i think): flying lessons; smokey the bear lived in the woods behind our house; an elaborate fantasy world revolving around a mound of dirt in our backyard, a witch living under an apple tree, a good mouse, a magic pendent, and the two of us saving the world
Of course I also had endless fantasies that no one else was included in.
During the winter I would become the snow princess, dress up in these gauzy white things, and pretend that I had been captured by the evil Fire Lords (my parents). They had a roaring fire and at first I was locked in the room with it. I would stay as far from it as possible since fire was the only thing that could kill me, but the flickering flames were like a sirens call and I would inexorably move closer. I would sit in front of the fire, gazing into the flames, feeling myself melting, and not being able to resist the illicit temptation.
After a while, the prison would be unlocked and I would be free to go. I would feel the pull between what was good for me, what I should do, and what was mysterious, dangerous...
As this example shows, my stories were (almost) always about feelings.
She does not take risks lightly, and will often not try things that seem dangerous to her whereas other kids jump right in. She thinks very carefully before taking action.
That has always been the same for me. Maybe it is to do with my poor Se skills, I'm not sure. I have always felt very aware that I am not good picking up physical activities like most other people seem to be. I still hate driving.. it feels so dangerous to me. When I was younger I took my time learning to ride a bike, roller blade, water ski... they felt dangerous, and they probably were because I'm not the most coordinated!
-There is an artsy-fartsy element to her personality, she told me recently "my dream is to learn piano," but she really has an interest in any instrument so she can "make" music with it, complete with improvised lyrics. She also enjoys writing stories which invariably means making copies and giving them to family members after she reads it to them.
I taught myself the piano when I was little... started when I was around 5 or 6 i think. I love music. I'm teaching myself the harp and classical guitar right now... (don't let any of this fool you into thinking I'm good at any of these instruments btw
)
Writing stories and poetry has always been something I've done. Probably means more to me than anything else.
-She is independent, and by that I mean she has her own will that doesn't necessarily submit to the will of adults around her. And so there is often conflict with some family members and teachers who do not understand that some people don't care what they think, not because of disrespect or stubborness, but because she simply has a will of her own and does not like to have it violated, even when she knows there will be consequences. Conflicts are rarely about impulsive things that kids commonly fight about like they want more cake or cry about having to quit playing. It's more often about a lack of caring whether or not authority figures approve of her which really irritates some people. This is my favorite trait of hers which I encourage and often find myself defending.
All I can say is, yep that sounds exactly right.
She if very lucky to have someone like you who understands this about her
She is also very girly, but I don't know if that means anything.
I was very girly when I was little, then when I got to be a teenager I rebelled against that mold, then I met my husband (INTP) and realized it was ok to be me.