Yeah totally agreed. Also, one could make the argument that for some Fe objectives, constant communication (small talk) can be seen as a waste of time and effort. I only contact people when I find something amusing or eventful.Yeah I don't think this is an Fe/Fi thing, think it's an individual thing
Yeah I don't think this is an Fe/Fi thing, think it's an individual thing
I'm chock full of Fe and I can go months and months not seeing a friend and when I do it's right back into the groove of things. I think about them and it's not that I don't want to see them but life gets in the way. I too suck at keeping in touch (even with email and social sites and such) but I do have my friends always at an accessible place right at the front of things. I suppose for me if they are there in that space then I know everything is alright. But as for feeling lonely if I don't see them physically...nope that doesn't really happen. Sorry if I'm messing up the theory at all. My Fe is primary of course and it still is very much like this for me and always has been.
So I was thinking of my best friend who's and INFP so she can be my example. Maybe I'd see her today. Then tomorrow I'd probably miss her. And I keep having to renew ... feel lonely I suppose when someone isn't present at a particular time even if I saw them recently it can feel like a long time ago.
She on the other hand could go for I'm betting months without seeing someone and still feel just as close to them or content.
Same like I could watch something I liked over and over and over again and I actually have to stop myself from doing it before I wear whatever it is out, where she would watch a movie once and say, I've seen it why would I see it again?
So are these differences between Fe and Fi? I guess is my question or is it just me
I am a bit jealous that Fi can really hold on to .. feeling or emotion (or appears to correct me if I'm wrong and probably oversimplifying) and I have to go looking for it every 5 minutes.
There may be something about having both Fi AND Si that can make one a bit more prone to this behavior.
I once noted an INFP saying "The people I love most are my imaginary friends" I note myself that I can feel incredibly attached to people I havent seen decades or even people I have never met and do not need to be in the vicinity of another person to love them. When I see them again, it is like being refreshed and not a day has gone by.
I once pondered if Si may create a facsimile of sorts, basically a captured image of the people that I interact with, that I carry with me as part of my cognitive make up. The more I know them, the more rich that image is, and something that can be used to understand them more fully. You once described post it notes as "Se" observations that you might use Ni to build an understanding out of.
In this case the Si abstraction is held as the starting point and I use Ne to extrapolate predictive possibilities from it.
The flaw is that it assumes continuity in behavior and I have found those who tends towards the Se/Ni side of things can shift far more abruptly than these Si templates can adjust, so I work very hard now days to recognize the flaws and incorrect assumptions that can derive from a template misapplied
There are risks in having it entangled into my own sense of self, if that makes sense.
I can get really bad with out of sight, out of mind. I only have so much energy for non in person socializing and I don't need those far away so much.
At the same time, I easily connect with others in person. If I see someone I haven't seen in months, we go back to great instantly.
I try to reconnect occasionally, but if they are not physically close, I get too involved with those that are.....
Hear! Hear! We ENFJs are much better and much more effective one-on-one. We "feel" other people better in person (probably because most communication is non-verbal).