[ESFP and INFP] Dumb fight

[frustratedcow]

Please tell me what I have to do in this situation because I have been thinking about it a lot.

I'm an INFP and I had a friend who's an ESFP. We were childhood friends and I'd say that he's one of the best friends I ever had. I was one of those people who were drawn in to the charisma ESPFs have. I liked how adventurous and humorous he is. To an INFP like me, he's like the force that made me go out there and live because I was infected with their positive energy that always seemed to thirst for adventure and fun.

But then we had a dumb fight.
Things suddenly went to rock bottom ever since that fight. Because I am an INFP and I hold my principles dear to me, it hurt me when he violated one of them. I stormed off and waited for him to approach me and say sorry. I have already been waiting for almost 4-6 years for that apology and it still hasn't come. In other words, we didn't talk after that fight. It was sad to see one of the people who have been such a positive light in my life drift away from me without even feeling sorry or doing something about it. I really hate that with being an INFP: being loyal until the end. But I guess I'm just holding onto every last fiber of hope even though it's false hope.

The reason why I'm still hoping for that apology (even though I know that ESFPs are good at dropping bad relationships fast) is because I actually like the guy. To make things even worse: we still see each other and every time we do, it's VERY awkward. Our parents are close friends so it's really uncomfortable every time we had to see each other again. I really have a hard time forgetting our memories and moving on because the feeling is still here even if he violated one of my principles and didn't bother apologizing for it.

I want to be friends with him again but I'm afraid that (because he is an ESFP) he doesn't even care that we aren't talking anymore.

This is my question: Would ESFPs apologize to people earlier in this situation if they still want to be friends with me or do they really just avoid confrontation? I heard they are the love em or leave em type so maybe they just don't really care because they can be friends with anyone they like.

 

[Forever]

Forget the typology. Really leave it. The last thing you need to worry in this situation is being more analytical about it. Overthinking it won't help.

You can't force people to change but if you want likelier results, take the high road and confront that person yourself. It's uncomfortable I know but why wait on him?

 

[frustratedcow]

We haven't talked for so long that it has become so awkward to talk with him. The other day, we talked via telephone because he has to say something to my sister but she's asleep so he has no choice but to speak to me. I felt the awkwardness. Also, I'm afraid that he doesn't even want to talk to me anymore. I could understand because ESFPs are so fun to be with that they could be friends with anyone they like. That's why I'm just waiting on him so that I'd know that he really wants us to be friends again. I also worry that he'll be bored with me. As someone who likes to have one-on-one conversations, could I even match his energy? As I read into this situation more and more, I start to lose hope. Maybe it's better to just give up? And I'm not saying this so that you could say, "no, don't give up" but really, I want to give up. Maybe it's better to be without him :/

 

[Lia_kat]

Maybe he's waiting on you to do the same. If this is really important to you then you need to have a heart to heart with him, as awkward as it might be.
What was the fight about? He could have also been hurt by something you did or said.

 

[Forever]

We haven't talked for so long that it has become so awkward to talk with him. The other day, we talked via telephone because he has to say something to my sister but she's asleep so he has no choice but to speak to me. I felt the awkwardness. Also, I'm afraid that he doesn't even want to talk to me anymore. I could understand because ESFPs are so fun to be with that they could be friends with anyone they like. That's why I'm just waiting on him so that I'd know that he really wants us to be friends again. I also worry that he'll be bored with me. As someone who likes to have one-on-one conversations, could I even match his energy? As I read into this situation more and more, I start to lose hope. Maybe it's better to just give up? And I'm not saying this so that you could say, "no, don't give up" but really, I want to give up. Maybe it's better to be without him :/

Inaction only leads to waning and suffering. Just ask am I boring you? Running away doesn't solve problems. Your enneatype may be a 9 actually.

 

[frustratedcow]

Maybe he's waiting on you to do the same. If this is really important to you then you need to have a heart to heart with him, as awkward as it might be.
What was the fight about? He could have also been hurt by something you did or said.

We were kids then. He wanted to roam around the village a little bit farther but I told him that I'm worried of how far we were from home. I was afraid we might get lost so I stormed off and left him alone. We were so young and it was just so dumb ugh I wish I could go back in time and slap myself jk hahhaha

 

[Red Ribbon]

We were kids then. He wanted to roam around the village a little bit farther but I told him that I'm worried of how far we were from home. I was afraid we might get lost so I stormed off and left him alone. We were so young and it was just so dumb ugh I wish I could go back in time and slap myself jk hahhaha

Just tell him this. What's stopping you? If he doesn't want to be your friend, at least you'll know.

 

[Population: 1]

That's it? What inner value did a disagreement about proximity to home territory stir up?

It's simple: your friendship vs. this inner value. That's the question, which is worth more to you? Life is incredibly short and we meet all sorts of people on the journey. Some you cast aside some you forget because they were forgettable and some are people your existence is so much more empty without. Which type of person is he to you?