[MBTI General] Fe / Ti types: define passive aggressive behaviour

[Amargith]

when i either have expressed my dislike or 'no' before or know from experience there is no point as it gets dismissed and demands are placed upon me along with expectations i did not agree to

That is the reason. I don't think they're demanding - I verify first, to be absolutely sure. I try repeatedly to communicate, to work this out before I go there. I don't like conflict and prefer getting along with people and give each other the space we need to coexist.

So, I don't go there if open communication is even *slightly* possible. However, refusing to recognise interaction is a two way street is pretty much something I respond allergically to.

I also refuse to give home turf advantage to someone who is used to bullying others to get their way. Meanwhile, I always try to figure out what's going on when someone is being passive aggressive with me, and get them to talk to me so we can resolve it together. Communication is key, after all.

If all else fails, I find that ignoring them is often the same as having them bash against me for a long time to get their way. And yes, I refuse to cave in and will make it a point to let them know that they're banging their head against a brick wall so we both can pick up our toys and go home a lot sooner than letting them figure it out themselves as they'll often double down and keep going since it's their default strategy that rarely fails. It's like training an animal - they'll first intensify their behaviour because 'it's always worked before, why not now??'. And I honestly can do without that aggravation. If they're smart, they'll pick up that they've just met an immovable object and plot another course.

Be stupid and stick to your arrogance/entitlement that I owe you something without consent and, yes, I 'll make it my fucking job to retrain you regarding being overly controlling, coz I'll be damned if Im going to enable you and reward that kind of assbackwards strategy and let you bully others in the future. We'll see who can out stubborn and outsmart who and who has more to lose.

Aggression has its uses - passive or active. This is one of 'em - and it happens to be particularly effective on those that are openly aggressive and only understand/respect that language. It's kind of like a tar pit they get themselves stuck in, so they wear themselves out. And maybe when they're too exhausted to act like a trampling bulldozer, we can actually have a civil conversation for once

The funny thing is that these people ime, once they actually start talking to you instead of seeing you as an obstacle in their way, can actually end up appreciating you showing them that this too can be a part of life - and it's way easier, healthier and more fun than being controlling in the first place.

Some of them became my best friends

 

[Rasofy]

giving silent treatment

saying negative stuff about someone like It's a joke, when deep down you mean it