Yama
Permabanned
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2014
- Messages
- 7,684
- MBTI Type
- ESFJ
- Enneagram
- 6w7
- Instinctual Variant
- so/sx
As we all know, I'm a huge slut for ISTJs. ISTJs are love. ISTJs are life. So naturally, I would notice that there is not an ISTJ/ISFJ thread yet. So I have to make one. Here's the general template:
When it’s working – What are the joys and positive aspects of these relationships?
- How compatible do you think these two types are in general?
- Why are they attracted to each other?
- How to they compliment each other?
- How well do they understand each other and why?
- What are they like together raising children?
When it’s not working – What are the challenges when two people of this type are in a relationship?
- What are some of the communication challenges they can have?
- What are the biggest frustrations between these two types?
- How can they take each other for granted?
- What happens with things “go wrong†between these two types?
Advice for couples – What recommendations do you have?
- What things should each type do to facilitate better communication?
- What advice do you have for each of the two types?
- If you are an ISTJ, what advice do you have for the ISFJs?
- If you are an ISFJ, what advice would you have for the ISTJs?
---
I love love love ISTJs. We've just been naturally drawn to each other. The Si + Si dynamic is really nice. Where most problems occur is with the Fe/Te clash. Occasionally, I'll find my ISTJs to say something too bluntly or directly and it'll rub me the wrong way. Alternatively, my Fe can sometimes piss off the ISTJs - "Who gives a fuck about her feelings, if you want her to leave you alone then tell her already!" That sort of thing.
But I think we can also be really great for each other. Using Si/Ne as common language, we can cover each others' bases. ISTJs can provide that Te push that I really need sometimes, help me make decisions and give great advice. They see things from perspectives I might miss or be reluctant to address, and bring it up to the plate. My ISTJs, on the other hand, like me because "I'm mom." We have lots of common interests, and (according to my Johari feedback I made them do it lmfao) they seem to like that I'm accepting, easy to get along with, friendly, and supportive. We're all very grateful for each other.
Things to be careful for - both can be stubborn as fuck and disagreements can escalate rapidly. Most of these disagreements I have noticed arise from Te/Fe differences. Both types are especially hard to budge in this respect. Also, ISFJs can be prone to getting butthurt if the ISTJ doesn't tell them what they want to hear sometimes. Be prepared for that, they won't sugar-coat things for you. But their honesty is meant to be constructive, not insulting. Oh, and ISTJs know how to hold a grudge--I was shunned from my ISTJ's life for two years after I accidentally broke his phone in 9th grade. Literally don't even try with them if they slam the door on you. They will come back when they're ready and not a second sooner! Also, times my ISTJs have gotten annoyed with me are usually when I get too far into inferior-Ne mode--they can understand me, but they find it exhausting if I become impossible to deal with, because their advice gets shot down and they don't know how else they're supposed to help. So be appreciative!
Other ISFJs and ISTJs, what say you on our relationships?
When it’s working – What are the joys and positive aspects of these relationships?
- How compatible do you think these two types are in general?
- Why are they attracted to each other?
- How to they compliment each other?
- How well do they understand each other and why?
- What are they like together raising children?
When it’s not working – What are the challenges when two people of this type are in a relationship?
- What are some of the communication challenges they can have?
- What are the biggest frustrations between these two types?
- How can they take each other for granted?
- What happens with things “go wrong†between these two types?
Advice for couples – What recommendations do you have?
- What things should each type do to facilitate better communication?
- What advice do you have for each of the two types?
- If you are an ISTJ, what advice do you have for the ISFJs?
- If you are an ISFJ, what advice would you have for the ISTJs?
---
I love love love ISTJs. We've just been naturally drawn to each other. The Si + Si dynamic is really nice. Where most problems occur is with the Fe/Te clash. Occasionally, I'll find my ISTJs to say something too bluntly or directly and it'll rub me the wrong way. Alternatively, my Fe can sometimes piss off the ISTJs - "Who gives a fuck about her feelings, if you want her to leave you alone then tell her already!" That sort of thing.
But I think we can also be really great for each other. Using Si/Ne as common language, we can cover each others' bases. ISTJs can provide that Te push that I really need sometimes, help me make decisions and give great advice. They see things from perspectives I might miss or be reluctant to address, and bring it up to the plate. My ISTJs, on the other hand, like me because "I'm mom." We have lots of common interests, and (according to my Johari feedback I made them do it lmfao) they seem to like that I'm accepting, easy to get along with, friendly, and supportive. We're all very grateful for each other.
Things to be careful for - both can be stubborn as fuck and disagreements can escalate rapidly. Most of these disagreements I have noticed arise from Te/Fe differences. Both types are especially hard to budge in this respect. Also, ISFJs can be prone to getting butthurt if the ISTJ doesn't tell them what they want to hear sometimes. Be prepared for that, they won't sugar-coat things for you. But their honesty is meant to be constructive, not insulting. Oh, and ISTJs know how to hold a grudge--I was shunned from my ISTJ's life for two years after I accidentally broke his phone in 9th grade. Literally don't even try with them if they slam the door on you. They will come back when they're ready and not a second sooner! Also, times my ISTJs have gotten annoyed with me are usually when I get too far into inferior-Ne mode--they can understand me, but they find it exhausting if I become impossible to deal with, because their advice gets shot down and they don't know how else they're supposed to help. So be appreciative!
Other ISFJs and ISTJs, what say you on our relationships?
