Err. I'm going to have to ask: why haven't you tried learning another language, if English is so stupid to you? You may have to know English, but there's no requirement for you to think in it.
I did learn another language as a child. I spoke music. The trouble is that this world was ripped from me and in essence, I was maimed. From where my mind was free to express like a poet, I'm now limited to 'yes' and 'no' blinks of the eye. It really is that frustrating to me.
To speak in a language does define the thoughts. To speak in a language requires the speaker to think within the confines of that language. In a rigid sense, the Oxford dictionary is the complete set of thoughts an English speaking human is allowed to have. While it can be very vast and colorful, the underlying constructs of verbal/written language are alien to me. At the core, to speak a language is to think in a certain way.
The best way I can describe it is through proxy:
synesthesia. Some people have this neurological condition where things appear as colors to people. Friday is blue, March is red, 999 is a deep brown, 3.1415(pi) is a beautiful landscape etc. This is
qualia: the things of subjective experience that cannot be explained to another without a common understanding. It wasn't until recently that I noticed that people thought in words. When speaking, they see words in their heads. For the above syntheses, they see pictures and colors first, then the word. Not bad because it's fairly concrete and accurate. For me, the thoughts are abstract patterns which may not have a direct linguistic language correlation.
For instance: If we both see a mug, what do you see in your mind's eye? Probably the word 'cup' in your mind with some other things like 'coffee/tea' or 'hot' etc.
When I see a cup, I see a donut, I see a super galaxy and a child's entire lifetime. I see all these and few others at the same time. Let me explain.
1. The donut: if the cup was made out of clay, you can mold a cup into a donut and back without ripping or tearing the clay.
2. The super galaxy: Now take the donut and squash it to an atom's width. It will have a hole in the center. This is the black hole and the atom's are solar systems/planets in the galaxy.
3. The child's lifetime: A child must always have something missing from their life. If it was complete, then they would be content, and there's nothing to strive for. Thus while the clay is malleable to all extents of the imagination, there is still have hole, or missing piece that a child can strive for. For some, this is called happiness, perfection, god: That thing which cannot be obtained, but the effort is worthy.
As a child myself, I would blurt mis-identified things. Imagine my parents "What this? Can you say cup?" and I say "donut". After 30 minutes of cup/donut and telling me I'm wrong, they give me a donut. To which I would chuck the donut and start crying.
The trouble with thinking in abstract patterns is when being forced to speak quickly (verbal fights, speaking with managers/coworkers, asking a girl out for date, being 'normal' at parties, defending yourself in court/police etc).
It might be pointless to explain my difficulty with language, through language. I may have to make a movie.